Dat Dog
I haven't posted since August.
I started my creative writing class last week and the first few assignments were journaling. It made me think of LJ and all the amazing words I threw down over the years. Terrible, awful, and beautiful I wrote with passion and rage, anger and resentment, and love. Underneath it all there was always love. I guess a lot has happened in my life since I wrote last. Paul and I moved in to a lovely little home in Worcester. We adopted a dog, a rescue from a local shelter. His name is Morty and he is my entire world. Adam also adopted a dog, Steely, a blue nosed pit from the same shelter. They play together, make a mess together, cause mayhem together, and then collapse in deep breaths with their tongs lolling to the side together. Morty is half Steely's size but he is scrappy and can give his bigger cousin a run for his money. Having the dogs has put my brother and I in constant communication. We set up play dates and text back and forth about our furry four legged children. It's nice to have a connection with my brother that is positive. Usually in the past all we had to talk about was complaining about our father and how much of a loser he can be.
It's sort of a playful anger in itself. Not that either one of us despises the man, he just tends to let us down more often than not and the only feeling of resolve we get is when we make fun of him.
I've read 4 books this year so far, and have started the 5th. Even though I've read each one before I still feel a sense of satisfaction when I finish one.
Work is the same. Tonight was particularly busy while tomorrow I'll be lucky to make enough to cover the gas it took to get me there. I can't really ask for anything more than that since that's how it's been for the last ten years. Which is why I went back to school in the first place. And school is also going well. I decided to tackle three classes this semester. I will probably regret that.
_______
I came on to LJ after finishing up some homework. I opened up a new post and was prompted to refresh my text from a previous post I had never finished, so I said yes just to see what I had written. It was the above few paragraphs.
Sillyness.
So the semester is just about over now. Those three classes kicked my ass, but I am a better writer having taken them.
Mostly I wanted to just put something down in writing that was positive since the last few posts were death related.
It's been hard, moving forward. Living life after so quickly losing so many people... It was almost as if I was doing their memory a disservice by continuing on. But I have overcome that guilt and know that this is the only option. To keep going, keep listening to music, keep laughing, keep driving with the windows down, keep falling in love. Brian Fallon said once, "33 rpm - life sounds pretty good at that speed." And it's true. I opened myself completely to music and have been overcome with words that devour me. As always, my life is a set of songs strung together by moments and memories I can not express. Chuck Ragan, Dan Andriano, Toh Kay, Brian Fallon... these men sing the songs that helped me heal. They made me cry, they helped me mourn.
This Light, Somewhere in the Between, Mae, National Anthem, Let it Rain, Wish on the Moon, Right as Rain... These songs got me through and reminded me that there was hope on the other side. And there is. There really is.
So thanks boys, for making life not so terrifying. For making love songs, for making me want to dance, for making me smile, for allowing me to continue to live my life.
If you ever need a melancholy album to listen to I suggest Dan Andriano's Hurricane Season, or The Horrible Crowes' Elsie. Both are very slow and deep, heady, and calming.
A good boot kicking ass shaking album would be Chuck Ragan's new one Til Midnight, or Covering Ground.
And here is a picture of Morty because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and my life has not been the same since he came in to my life: (And Morty's Instagram account because why not:: http://instagram.com/sir_morty_mcfly
I started my creative writing class last week and the first few assignments were journaling. It made me think of LJ and all the amazing words I threw down over the years. Terrible, awful, and beautiful I wrote with passion and rage, anger and resentment, and love. Underneath it all there was always love. I guess a lot has happened in my life since I wrote last. Paul and I moved in to a lovely little home in Worcester. We adopted a dog, a rescue from a local shelter. His name is Morty and he is my entire world. Adam also adopted a dog, Steely, a blue nosed pit from the same shelter. They play together, make a mess together, cause mayhem together, and then collapse in deep breaths with their tongs lolling to the side together. Morty is half Steely's size but he is scrappy and can give his bigger cousin a run for his money. Having the dogs has put my brother and I in constant communication. We set up play dates and text back and forth about our furry four legged children. It's nice to have a connection with my brother that is positive. Usually in the past all we had to talk about was complaining about our father and how much of a loser he can be.
It's sort of a playful anger in itself. Not that either one of us despises the man, he just tends to let us down more often than not and the only feeling of resolve we get is when we make fun of him.
I've read 4 books this year so far, and have started the 5th. Even though I've read each one before I still feel a sense of satisfaction when I finish one.
Work is the same. Tonight was particularly busy while tomorrow I'll be lucky to make enough to cover the gas it took to get me there. I can't really ask for anything more than that since that's how it's been for the last ten years. Which is why I went back to school in the first place. And school is also going well. I decided to tackle three classes this semester. I will probably regret that.
_______
I came on to LJ after finishing up some homework. I opened up a new post and was prompted to refresh my text from a previous post I had never finished, so I said yes just to see what I had written. It was the above few paragraphs.
Sillyness.
So the semester is just about over now. Those three classes kicked my ass, but I am a better writer having taken them.
Mostly I wanted to just put something down in writing that was positive since the last few posts were death related.
It's been hard, moving forward. Living life after so quickly losing so many people... It was almost as if I was doing their memory a disservice by continuing on. But I have overcome that guilt and know that this is the only option. To keep going, keep listening to music, keep laughing, keep driving with the windows down, keep falling in love. Brian Fallon said once, "33 rpm - life sounds pretty good at that speed." And it's true. I opened myself completely to music and have been overcome with words that devour me. As always, my life is a set of songs strung together by moments and memories I can not express. Chuck Ragan, Dan Andriano, Toh Kay, Brian Fallon... these men sing the songs that helped me heal. They made me cry, they helped me mourn.
This Light, Somewhere in the Between, Mae, National Anthem, Let it Rain, Wish on the Moon, Right as Rain... These songs got me through and reminded me that there was hope on the other side. And there is. There really is.
So thanks boys, for making life not so terrifying. For making love songs, for making me want to dance, for making me smile, for allowing me to continue to live my life.
If you ever need a melancholy album to listen to I suggest Dan Andriano's Hurricane Season, or The Horrible Crowes' Elsie. Both are very slow and deep, heady, and calming.
A good boot kicking ass shaking album would be Chuck Ragan's new one Til Midnight, or Covering Ground.
And here is a picture of Morty because he is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and my life has not been the same since he came in to my life: (And Morty's Instagram account because why not:: http://instagram.com/sir_morty_mcfly