lost?
I've been overly optimistic lately.
Kinda scary, seeming how I've been quite the opposite my whole life.
I had so many hopeful plans for this month, all waiting for them to fall through and start the next chapter in my(our) life. I was to get a god damn good deal on a car ($500 for a car that's regularly worth well over $2,000), a truck ($2,500 from my uncle, so I can pay it off a little at a time), and me and Her were to get an apartment.
The ball started rolling backwards on me Saturday; my buddy called me and told me that his buddy sold the car for $600 and another car. I was pissed. I spent most of Saturday trying to descramble my thoughts because She has a shitty car and I didn't want Her to have to drive my firechicken. So the pessimism started to creep back and I figured it was the first of a series of bad news. Then today, I found out that we can't get the apartment because they can't verify that she makes the kind of money that she says she does.
But wait. There's more.
My dad is moving the last weekend of the month. Into a smaller house. My mom is moving either the last weekend of this month. Into a smaller house. I've been staying at my dad's house during the week, when I go to school, and going to my mom's on weekends when I don't have anything to do. So I have nowhere to go.
I haven't the slightest clue as to what I'm supposed to do right now.
This is depression on a whole new fucking level. I always thought that teenage depression and angst was unmatched by the freedom of aldulthood, but godfuckingdamn was I wrong.
Kinda scary, seeming how I've been quite the opposite my whole life.
I had so many hopeful plans for this month, all waiting for them to fall through and start the next chapter in my(our) life. I was to get a god damn good deal on a car ($500 for a car that's regularly worth well over $2,000), a truck ($2,500 from my uncle, so I can pay it off a little at a time), and me and Her were to get an apartment.
The ball started rolling backwards on me Saturday; my buddy called me and told me that his buddy sold the car for $600 and another car. I was pissed. I spent most of Saturday trying to descramble my thoughts because She has a shitty car and I didn't want Her to have to drive my firechicken. So the pessimism started to creep back and I figured it was the first of a series of bad news. Then today, I found out that we can't get the apartment because they can't verify that she makes the kind of money that she says she does.
But wait. There's more.
My dad is moving the last weekend of the month. Into a smaller house. My mom is moving either the last weekend of this month. Into a smaller house. I've been staying at my dad's house during the week, when I go to school, and going to my mom's on weekends when I don't have anything to do. So I have nowhere to go.
I haven't the slightest clue as to what I'm supposed to do right now.
This is depression on a whole new fucking level. I always thought that teenage depression and angst was unmatched by the freedom of aldulthood, but godfuckingdamn was I wrong.