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[explosion_array]

*eating some beef jerky, wearing a tiara and dress, carrying a diamond rod* Bard... just what the hell is this? *Has his gift in a bag*

And, uh, wow, Red Mage, is this thing real? *waves it around a bit*

I've started remembering some of my crazy friends from back home, and... I can't believe I'm going to say this, but this place is starting to seem

Comments

[herestothebard]

It's useful. You can at least create the illusion that you're properly endowed, and it'll make them squishier too.

[explosion_array]

What!? I-I'm FINE the WAY I AM.

[herestothebard]

Well, allow me to demonstrate. Right now, for example, you barely even fill my palm.

*squish*

...huh.

*squishsquish*

You know, I would say this is about the firmest I've ever felt.

*squishsquishsquish*

Huh. Maybe that's why they're so small.

*squishsquishsquishsquish*

[explosion_array]

G-G-GET OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!

*picks the Bard up by his hand and begins spinning, swinging him around to build momentum until the two of them are a small tornado*

[herestothebard]

You *whoa* know *christ* this is *son of a trow that was close* something *sonofa* of an *not the face!* of an *how in the world are you* OVERREACTION!

I'm sure you all saw something like this coming. Well, unless you're the Bard, of course.

[explosion_array]

OVER REACTION!?

*throws him high into the sky*

I'LL SHOW YOU AN OVER REACTION

*The Bard begins to zoom out of sight, about to twinkle, but just before he becomes that lone star in the sky...*

FIREBALL!! *... Lina overwhelms the twinkle with an explosion*

[herestothebard]

*blasts off*