Somehow, I Think You are Missing the Point:
This is for the "Nice Guys". The ones who try to make themselves out to be self-effacing (if you make a production out of it, it is no longer humility), the ones who say they really care (but cannot remember that 'the' girl wants to be a chemist-not a secretary at a non-descript business), and to the ones who grow acidic and bitchy when they finally get told no.
Yes, I am not sorry to say, but you are the ones with 'mommy' and 'daddy' issues that you have broadcast to the world, you are the ones with short tempers and shorter attention spans. You are the ones who 'fall-in-love' with a girl you barely know but cannot seem to bring yourself to know any of her interests (or to tell yourself of her utter lack of interest for you!). You are the ones who pretend you're not like an asshole, by being an asshole (oh, the irony). You are the ones who read online 'Pick up Chicks' books, and bitch when the Barney Stinson shtick doesn't work in real life. You are the ones who creep after women who are not into you, pawing at their hemlines and turning to another woman with a sigh, 'she never notices me' (*Note: If she has, it's as the creepy guy she needs to buy mace to protect herself from you). You are the ones who write 'suicide' notes that between the lines threaten the life of the girl you're pining over. You are the ones who resort to online threats about women in general, and how you're going to marry a 'mail-order bride' because they're trained to respect men (Note: They're not. If you don't happen to be murdered in your sleep; you tend to be divorced not even five years later-it's all on you, honey).
Why is the Nice Guy routine not working?
You don't have the looks? Neither does most the planet, but plenty of dumpy, so-so guys get married and have successful relationships-try again. You don't have the money? Yet, the poor of the USA happens to marry all the time. And now, with women who have their own jobs; most women are not typically looking for a man to take care of them, so what else have you got. You don't talk-the-talk? Sorry, but if all you can manage is mumbling and cave-man grunts, there's nothing to do for you. Now, if you can hold a twenty-minute conversation without running a sob-story or pick-up lines; you've got enough talk like the rest of us. So, that's 3-for-3. Maybe, its the fact that you don't have the looks, but act like all the 10s in the room should be bowing down to you. Maybe its the fact that you're still bitching about how a 10 should give you the time of day, but won't look twice at the girl who's a little chubby but has been making eyes at you? Maybe its because, instead of seeing a guy who a girl could rely on even during hard times, they see a boy they'll have to take care of. Nobody wants to have to raise/financially support a man-child. That isn't attractive, at all, as we are not your substitute mothers. Maybe its the fact that you are all talk, and very little walk, You don't care enough about a girl to back off when she says no, or just accept that she isn't interested. You don't care enough about her issues to listen without expecting her to fall in love with you or to owe you later. You do NOT care, and we can tell.
Or maybe, its because you don't actually want to be a Nice Guy. You want to be the 'mythical' Bad Boy, but you cannot. You want to be able to have flings with women, be their heart throbs and move on to the next. You want to be able to get away with being a creep, and acting rude, and douchey in public, and not get called on it. But you can't. Because the Bad Boy is a myth. There isn't a universal man that universal women drop to their knees and forgive every terrible thing they've ever done over. (Also, if you tend to group all of woman-kind into liking one thing; you have written off all of the female population-there's a reason why we aren't taking you seriously). George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" doesn't actually apply to anybody in life. The Bad Boy is a TV trope, that is it. There are rotten apples in men, but most Bad Guys appear sweet and crisp on the outside at first, but you find out real quick that they're rotten on the inside (As in, the Bad Guy plays the Nice Guy to begin with). See, most of the rotten apples started out just like you..You make everyone else uncomfortable, because you are pathetic, and bitter, and angry. No one wants to hear about you crying about 'that' girl who won't notice you. How she falls in love with all the 'wrong' guys. That you try to sabotage dates, pick reasons that it wont work out, and resort to 'I saw you first!' as the last ditch effort reveals everything, It was never about her, but all about you.
To be fair, there are plenty of men who find happy, fulfilling relationships. There are plenty of guys who are nice, thoughtful, interesting, and fun to be with. There are plenty of women looking for those relationships with those types of men. In fact, most men in relationships are not 10s, rich or CEOs of a company. They don't own a yacht, or fly to Paris for romantic get-aways every weekend. They don't have their golden hair sway gently in the wind with golden-tanned abs, and swarthy good looks. They're normal. Want to know a working relationship? Most healthy relationships are equal relationships, Give-and-take, listen-and-speak, lust-and-love, up-and-down, lover-and-friend, etc., If these don' exist between both people; you don't have a relationship. It's not that a nice guy finishes last, but that you as that Nice Guy is being ignored for everyone else who isn't a creep. Its you, buddy ol' pal, its all you.
Yes, I am not sorry to say, but you are the ones with 'mommy' and 'daddy' issues that you have broadcast to the world, you are the ones with short tempers and shorter attention spans. You are the ones who 'fall-in-love' with a girl you barely know but cannot seem to bring yourself to know any of her interests (or to tell yourself of her utter lack of interest for you!). You are the ones who pretend you're not like an asshole, by being an asshole (oh, the irony). You are the ones who read online 'Pick up Chicks' books, and bitch when the Barney Stinson shtick doesn't work in real life. You are the ones who creep after women who are not into you, pawing at their hemlines and turning to another woman with a sigh, 'she never notices me' (*Note: If she has, it's as the creepy guy she needs to buy mace to protect herself from you). You are the ones who write 'suicide' notes that between the lines threaten the life of the girl you're pining over. You are the ones who resort to online threats about women in general, and how you're going to marry a 'mail-order bride' because they're trained to respect men (Note: They're not. If you don't happen to be murdered in your sleep; you tend to be divorced not even five years later-it's all on you, honey).
Why is the Nice Guy routine not working?
You don't have the looks? Neither does most the planet, but plenty of dumpy, so-so guys get married and have successful relationships-try again. You don't have the money? Yet, the poor of the USA happens to marry all the time. And now, with women who have their own jobs; most women are not typically looking for a man to take care of them, so what else have you got. You don't talk-the-talk? Sorry, but if all you can manage is mumbling and cave-man grunts, there's nothing to do for you. Now, if you can hold a twenty-minute conversation without running a sob-story or pick-up lines; you've got enough talk like the rest of us. So, that's 3-for-3. Maybe, its the fact that you don't have the looks, but act like all the 10s in the room should be bowing down to you. Maybe its the fact that you're still bitching about how a 10 should give you the time of day, but won't look twice at the girl who's a little chubby but has been making eyes at you? Maybe its because, instead of seeing a guy who a girl could rely on even during hard times, they see a boy they'll have to take care of. Nobody wants to have to raise/financially support a man-child. That isn't attractive, at all, as we are not your substitute mothers. Maybe its the fact that you are all talk, and very little walk, You don't care enough about a girl to back off when she says no, or just accept that she isn't interested. You don't care enough about her issues to listen without expecting her to fall in love with you or to owe you later. You do NOT care, and we can tell.
Or maybe, its because you don't actually want to be a Nice Guy. You want to be the 'mythical' Bad Boy, but you cannot. You want to be able to have flings with women, be their heart throbs and move on to the next. You want to be able to get away with being a creep, and acting rude, and douchey in public, and not get called on it. But you can't. Because the Bad Boy is a myth. There isn't a universal man that universal women drop to their knees and forgive every terrible thing they've ever done over. (Also, if you tend to group all of woman-kind into liking one thing; you have written off all of the female population-there's a reason why we aren't taking you seriously). George Thorogood's "Bad to the Bone" doesn't actually apply to anybody in life. The Bad Boy is a TV trope, that is it. There are rotten apples in men, but most Bad Guys appear sweet and crisp on the outside at first, but you find out real quick that they're rotten on the inside (As in, the Bad Guy plays the Nice Guy to begin with). See, most of the rotten apples started out just like you..You make everyone else uncomfortable, because you are pathetic, and bitter, and angry. No one wants to hear about you crying about 'that' girl who won't notice you. How she falls in love with all the 'wrong' guys. That you try to sabotage dates, pick reasons that it wont work out, and resort to 'I saw you first!' as the last ditch effort reveals everything, It was never about her, but all about you.
To be fair, there are plenty of men who find happy, fulfilling relationships. There are plenty of guys who are nice, thoughtful, interesting, and fun to be with. There are plenty of women looking for those relationships with those types of men. In fact, most men in relationships are not 10s, rich or CEOs of a company. They don't own a yacht, or fly to Paris for romantic get-aways every weekend. They don't have their golden hair sway gently in the wind with golden-tanned abs, and swarthy good looks. They're normal. Want to know a working relationship? Most healthy relationships are equal relationships, Give-and-take, listen-and-speak, lust-and-love, up-and-down, lover-and-friend, etc., If these don' exist between both people; you don't have a relationship. It's not that a nice guy finishes last, but that you as that Nice Guy is being ignored for everyone else who isn't a creep. Its you, buddy ol' pal, its all you.