Too Deep in the Fandom (rambling)
This post will not be analyzing or informing you about anything, I'm just talking about myself.
If you know me at all you'd know that I am no stranger to fandoms and am very experienced in the art of being a fan. Embracing Star Wars at the age of 12 and finding comfort in online communities by age 13 I am no stranger to the nature of the anti fan as well. But then and now are different. Back then the most shocking thing that would happen amongst us Star Wars nerds would be the occasional Trekkie coming into the chat or forum making one of the usual remarks about Trek being greater than Wars...but at that time Star Wars was nearing its 30th anniversary so 98% of fans had gotten most of the "trek vs. wars" hate out of their systems long ago. There was a moment of fear in the forums when the new Star Trek movie came out that made older fans feel like they would soon be dismissed as outdated or dying and some trekkies started saying things like "Trek was born before Wars and Trek will outlast Wars." Yea, I know what you're thinking.
But all in all, it's fun being a Star Wars fan! You get to dress up as a jedi and learn cool phrases in Bocce, Huttese, and Mando'a. You get to participate in trivia tournaments and read books that branch out far beyond Return of the Jedi and you get to spazz a little whenever Harrison Ford is in another movie... Ever since then, the degree of "funness" in my fandoms has been decreasing.
In 2007 I discovered the wonderful world of pro wrestling and was immediately captivated by the Undertaker in the first episode of Friday Night Smackdown I ever saw. But as the months wore on and I started getting to exchange thoughts with other wrestling fans I noticed a very firm divide: the fans that pay attention to the story lines and the fans that look behind the scenes. Way to burst my bubble! Although I think it's kind of cool to know what the Undertaker did over the weekend, I want my fake wrestling world to stand alone! Although this doesn't bother me at all anymore, it's hard to talk to another one of these types of wrestling fans without them passing you off as a stupid little girl that doesn't do her research on x, y, and z. The podcasts they make are quite entertaining though and in times like this when the story lines in pro wrestling suck, knowing behind the scenes stuff is pretty cool .^_^
Maybe it's just bad timing on my part, but the happy times I've spent in the wonderful fandom of Cassiopeia have been minimal. I only became a fan in the spring of 2009 and, as some of you might know, DBSK started having rumored issues at the end of that June and entered the lawsuit on the last day of July...
Whenever joining a fandom I've always been the "baby." I'd be among the youngest on the forums, the youngest on the chatroom, or the youngest in the facebook group. I'm not sure how this always worked out that way. Cassiopeia was no different.
My first weeks as a Cassie were spent watching old videos of DBSK: every TV appearance, every radio interview, every photoshoot, music video, off shots of music videos, behind the scenes...everything. I was vaguely aware of their ongoing tour in Japan and would see photos and fancams of it on fan sites but didn't really get to concentrate on it until after final exams which happened in the first week of June. It was only then that I really started to pay attention to other fans.
They seemed nice enough. They were kind of pervy but they all knew their DBSK history! People had their own bias and even had couple biases but there was never anything as severe as it is right now of course. I know people from other kpop fandoms might sneak in a rude comment every now and then but I was quickly injected with Cassie elitism and brushed it off. With this new Cassie elitism and background knowledge of DBSK, life was good. :P I remember in the second half of June I saw people chatting about Jaejoong crying. At the time, to my knowledge, Jaejoong was the member that would never cry, ever. So I thought "aw, that's sad, but cute at the same time." It was at the very end of June that rumors about a breakup started surfacing. But to my knowledge, DBSK where the rising gods of the east, they don't just break up. So I brushed that off as well.
I went to camp that summer with my inner DBSK fangirl bottled up inside but occasionally mentioned kpop to my friends. By the time I got back on August 2nd it was like internet armageddon. Well, it wasn't really like that at first. I'll try to list the reactions of Cassiopeia as I saw it:
1. What? So..what does this mean?
2. Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, we must support them to things will go back to normal.
3. Wait, what about Yunho and Changmin?
4. This will be over soon.
5. Is HoMin against JaeChunSu?
6. No, they're still friends, they're still performing in Japan!
7. Look how depressed they look T_T I think they're faking their smiles.
8. ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
9a. JaeChunSu are greedy!
9b. No, HoMin are traitors!
It was around October 2009 when I got into the habit of talking to other Cassies. The only reason I started actively talking to them was because I was sooooooooo confused about all the rumors flying around. The first piece of advice I got was "don't believe anything unless the members say it themselves." That helped for awhile and I went on fangirling somewhat normally. I even got a bunch of DBSK CD's for my birthday that November.
Any Cassie that was still a Cassie by the end of 2009 gave themselves a pat on the back and 2010 was approached with optimism. At this time I knew there were people who had stopped supporting DBSK but I didn't have any sense of the newly forming "JYJ fan" or "homin fan." Hell, JYJ didn't even exist yet!
I'm not gonna lie, when JYJ first became JYJ I was angry. When they came out with their first album I was emo and when they kept crying at their concerts I was pissed off. I never directly disliked JYJ, I just grew heavily frustrated with them at times and the thing that annoyed me the most was that mentions of Yunho and Changmin were little to none. Yunho: the member I liked the most when I first saw DBSK and Changmin: my bias ever since I got to know what DBSK was. But even I found it hard to talk about them. They weren't doing anything and I hadn't even seen any new pictures of Changmin in months.
It was all fine and dandy until one day when talking about old Changmin stories someone said to me (via the internet of course): "how could you still like Changmin, you traitor!" How could talking about a member of DBSK on a DBSK fan site make me a traitor in any way shape or form? I'm just the same as I was a year ago. I brushed it off but during the time of SM Town that august was the first time I really saw the reality of "the JYJ fan" and "the HoMin fan." It was at that time when the fandom officially stopped being fun. I wasn't enjoying myself and talking to other fans that would talk about the lawsuit 24/7 wasn't fun either.
But soon after that, good stuff started happening. My friend who I had bombarded with DBSK stuff for several months finally gave in and became a Cassie herself. Then I got to show her all the old DBSK videos, interviews, and photoshoots (the same ones I had seen when I first became a fan) and things became a little fun again. And then in my Japanese class that September I met another fan of Asian pop music who liked DBSK and things continued getting a little more fun. Then I saw JYJ's showcase in NYC and things where great.
The Cassies that remained at the end of 2010 were different people and far less in numbers than at the end of 2009. But we approached 2011 with optimism. Although so far this year the amount of JYJ and HoMin fans seems to be outnumbering Cassies, I'm having fun. And although at times I feel like i'm "too deep in the fandom," I don't really regret it. ^_^
But anyways, no matter which fandom you're apart of, stop every once in awhile to make sure you're still enjoying yourself because before the flash mobs, fan vids, and presents the first thing I'm sure JYJ, HoMin, SHINee, SNSD, Big Bang, 2PM, ect. would want you to do is be happy! Or at least I'd hope so....lolz.
If you know me at all you'd know that I am no stranger to fandoms and am very experienced in the art of being a fan. Embracing Star Wars at the age of 12 and finding comfort in online communities by age 13 I am no stranger to the nature of the anti fan as well. But then and now are different. Back then the most shocking thing that would happen amongst us Star Wars nerds would be the occasional Trekkie coming into the chat or forum making one of the usual remarks about Trek being greater than Wars...but at that time Star Wars was nearing its 30th anniversary so 98% of fans had gotten most of the "trek vs. wars" hate out of their systems long ago. There was a moment of fear in the forums when the new Star Trek movie came out that made older fans feel like they would soon be dismissed as outdated or dying and some trekkies started saying things like "Trek was born before Wars and Trek will outlast Wars." Yea, I know what you're thinking.
But all in all, it's fun being a Star Wars fan! You get to dress up as a jedi and learn cool phrases in Bocce, Huttese, and Mando'a. You get to participate in trivia tournaments and read books that branch out far beyond Return of the Jedi and you get to spazz a little whenever Harrison Ford is in another movie... Ever since then, the degree of "funness" in my fandoms has been decreasing.
In 2007 I discovered the wonderful world of pro wrestling and was immediately captivated by the Undertaker in the first episode of Friday Night Smackdown I ever saw. But as the months wore on and I started getting to exchange thoughts with other wrestling fans I noticed a very firm divide: the fans that pay attention to the story lines and the fans that look behind the scenes. Way to burst my bubble! Although I think it's kind of cool to know what the Undertaker did over the weekend, I want my fake wrestling world to stand alone! Although this doesn't bother me at all anymore, it's hard to talk to another one of these types of wrestling fans without them passing you off as a stupid little girl that doesn't do her research on x, y, and z. The podcasts they make are quite entertaining though and in times like this when the story lines in pro wrestling suck, knowing behind the scenes stuff is pretty cool .^_^
Maybe it's just bad timing on my part, but the happy times I've spent in the wonderful fandom of Cassiopeia have been minimal. I only became a fan in the spring of 2009 and, as some of you might know, DBSK started having rumored issues at the end of that June and entered the lawsuit on the last day of July...
Whenever joining a fandom I've always been the "baby." I'd be among the youngest on the forums, the youngest on the chatroom, or the youngest in the facebook group. I'm not sure how this always worked out that way. Cassiopeia was no different.
My first weeks as a Cassie were spent watching old videos of DBSK: every TV appearance, every radio interview, every photoshoot, music video, off shots of music videos, behind the scenes...everything. I was vaguely aware of their ongoing tour in Japan and would see photos and fancams of it on fan sites but didn't really get to concentrate on it until after final exams which happened in the first week of June. It was only then that I really started to pay attention to other fans.
They seemed nice enough. They were kind of pervy but they all knew their DBSK history! People had their own bias and even had couple biases but there was never anything as severe as it is right now of course. I know people from other kpop fandoms might sneak in a rude comment every now and then but I was quickly injected with Cassie elitism and brushed it off. With this new Cassie elitism and background knowledge of DBSK, life was good. :P I remember in the second half of June I saw people chatting about Jaejoong crying. At the time, to my knowledge, Jaejoong was the member that would never cry, ever. So I thought "aw, that's sad, but cute at the same time." It was at the very end of June that rumors about a breakup started surfacing. But to my knowledge, DBSK where the rising gods of the east, they don't just break up. So I brushed that off as well.
I went to camp that summer with my inner DBSK fangirl bottled up inside but occasionally mentioned kpop to my friends. By the time I got back on August 2nd it was like internet armageddon. Well, it wasn't really like that at first. I'll try to list the reactions of Cassiopeia as I saw it:
1. What? So..what does this mean?
2. Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu, we must support them to things will go back to normal.
3. Wait, what about Yunho and Changmin?
4. This will be over soon.
5. Is HoMin against JaeChunSu?
6. No, they're still friends, they're still performing in Japan!
7. Look how depressed they look T_T I think they're faking their smiles.
8. ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
9a. JaeChunSu are greedy!
9b. No, HoMin are traitors!
It was around October 2009 when I got into the habit of talking to other Cassies. The only reason I started actively talking to them was because I was sooooooooo confused about all the rumors flying around. The first piece of advice I got was "don't believe anything unless the members say it themselves." That helped for awhile and I went on fangirling somewhat normally. I even got a bunch of DBSK CD's for my birthday that November.
Any Cassie that was still a Cassie by the end of 2009 gave themselves a pat on the back and 2010 was approached with optimism. At this time I knew there were people who had stopped supporting DBSK but I didn't have any sense of the newly forming "JYJ fan" or "homin fan." Hell, JYJ didn't even exist yet!
I'm not gonna lie, when JYJ first became JYJ I was angry. When they came out with their first album I was emo and when they kept crying at their concerts I was pissed off. I never directly disliked JYJ, I just grew heavily frustrated with them at times and the thing that annoyed me the most was that mentions of Yunho and Changmin were little to none. Yunho: the member I liked the most when I first saw DBSK and Changmin: my bias ever since I got to know what DBSK was. But even I found it hard to talk about them. They weren't doing anything and I hadn't even seen any new pictures of Changmin in months.
It was all fine and dandy until one day when talking about old Changmin stories someone said to me (via the internet of course): "how could you still like Changmin, you traitor!" How could talking about a member of DBSK on a DBSK fan site make me a traitor in any way shape or form? I'm just the same as I was a year ago. I brushed it off but during the time of SM Town that august was the first time I really saw the reality of "the JYJ fan" and "the HoMin fan." It was at that time when the fandom officially stopped being fun. I wasn't enjoying myself and talking to other fans that would talk about the lawsuit 24/7 wasn't fun either.
But soon after that, good stuff started happening. My friend who I had bombarded with DBSK stuff for several months finally gave in and became a Cassie herself. Then I got to show her all the old DBSK videos, interviews, and photoshoots (the same ones I had seen when I first became a fan) and things became a little fun again. And then in my Japanese class that September I met another fan of Asian pop music who liked DBSK and things continued getting a little more fun. Then I saw JYJ's showcase in NYC and things where great.
The Cassies that remained at the end of 2010 were different people and far less in numbers than at the end of 2009. But we approached 2011 with optimism. Although so far this year the amount of JYJ and HoMin fans seems to be outnumbering Cassies, I'm having fun. And although at times I feel like i'm "too deep in the fandom," I don't really regret it. ^_^
But anyways, no matter which fandom you're apart of, stop every once in awhile to make sure you're still enjoying yourself because before the flash mobs, fan vids, and presents the first thing I'm sure JYJ, HoMin, SHINee, SNSD, Big Bang, 2PM, ect. would want you to do is be happy! Or at least I'd hope so....lolz.