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[phone, stage 3] Phone B lunawolves10th July 15 2011, 01:16:00 UTC
I asked my battle-brother brother to forgive me for almost slaying him in my madness.

He embraced me, and brought me back to the light.

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expiatrice July 15 2011, 01:40:56 UTC
[...

Well this can't really be compared, but he would do something like that, wouldn't he?]

That's all you did? Do you think that it was enough?

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TL:DR time lunawolves10th July 15 2011, 04:36:48 UTC
No. I was mad... for maybe a year. I was buried under the cathedral where I saw my brothers slay each other... and I dug out. But my wounds, mental and physical, were enough to destroy my memories of who I was. I named myself Cerberus, the wolfhound of hell ( ... )

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expiatrice July 15 2011, 08:04:51 UTC
[...

She didn't ask for this, but it would explain why he seems to have changed, when she got undroned.

There's a long silence after. Admittedly the similarities were disturbing, but she's long since learned to keep herself in check. That scent of lavender was tempting, but her will to stay quiet was stronger.

Not out of shame or dishonor.

She simply believed that it would serve no purpose, to tell anyone her own story at this point. It's not worth anyone's time.]

How do you feel about it now, after everything?

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lunawolves10th July 16 2011, 05:14:35 UTC
I feel....

[ Garviel pauses, how does he feel? ]

Uncertain. If I slew only monsters, then I am glad. If I slew loyal servants of the Imperium, I am burdened by the sin I had tried so hard to avoid committing.

I would have welcomed dying by the side of my last loyal brother, Tarik. I wanted to die with him. But it seems I have a purpose yet, and I shall complete it. But to do so... I must leave this place, and the only honorable way to do so that I can see is by freeing those who are here with me, yourself included.

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2/2 I hope this isn't infomoddy... just going off the fact garv is rather empathetic lunawolves10th July 16 2011, 17:21:40 UTC
I am curious though... why did you ask about apologizing for a really big mistake? Do you have similar regrets yourself?

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expiatrice July 16 2011, 22:20:43 UTC
Ah, but it shouldn't really matter at this point. You don't remember and you can't tell, right? So the dead will stay dead. You're living now and you're doing what you can, so maybe that's enough.

[...]

I don't feel regretful. [That much is the pure truth, and she's said just as much to Archer, yesterday night before he got droned.] The nature of my mistake this time is very different.

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lunawolves10th July 17 2011, 01:04:03 UTC
Perhaps.

[ He considers that she doesn't feel regret. He's unsure how of to address it. So he instead continues probing. ]

What mistake is that?

[ There is surprise in his voice. He assumed she's made mistakes... just, big ones? That strikes him as odd. She was very precise in their engagement.]

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expiatrice July 17 2011, 04:47:25 UTC
[...]

I miscalculated and let down those who counted on me. [Both Shiki... and Arcueid. Ugh, felt bad to owe the True Ancestor an apology.

Also yeah gonna try to stay vague...]

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lunawolves10th July 18 2011, 01:13:46 UTC
I know how this feels. I have had this happen as well, more than once.

[ And that damn lavender. ]

I would comfort you, if I could... somehow. Tell me what to do. Even if you do not regret, I suspect there is a certain ache to it.

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expiatrice July 18 2011, 03:01:06 UTC
[She sighs quietly. ...Ah, maybe it's the lavender, but at the same time... She had better self-control than that.

Maybe she did wanted to get some of it off her chest. Before she lets her fists do the talking against Arcueid.]

He's not the type of person to hold grudges. This town has changed him, and while I can understand that he was forcibly acclimated, I still know how he is. He'll... probably forgive me, like nothing's happened. Because he doesn't understand how big of a mistake it is, and...

[Well, she already knew.

Even if Shiki forgives her, she can't quite bring her own person to forgive herself.

But if she's already aware, then...]

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lunawolves10th July 18 2011, 04:09:17 UTC
[ Garviel blinks, having no idea of who Ciel is talking about. ] He who? And... this mistake... it is not irrevocable, is it?

[ On to the town for a moment, damn thing. ]

This town.... it does change people. Even me. I have grown closer to mortals since I have come here. Come to care a great deal for them.

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expiatrice July 18 2011, 05:15:59 UTC
Someone from my world. ...Irrevocable? [She echoes quietly.] One can't take back what's already done. No mistake is revocable. [Not that she meant to sound bitter, but...

Yeah it's a hard blow to swallow. He counted on her and she failed.

Though maybe it dug hardest, to know that he'll never realize how severe that failure is, how much it meant to her, and he'll brush it all aside when he really shouldn't.]

...

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lunawolves10th July 18 2011, 05:19:32 UTC
You're hurting.

[ He considers her works about mistakes, and says. ]

Then all we can do is endure, and do what good we can with the jobs in front of us.

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expiatrice July 18 2011, 06:46:12 UTC
[What a simple statement.

Accurate, she supposed, but she brought this upon herself.]

Mm. I suppose that I didn't expect to get help this way to begin with. If anything, it risked confrontation, and I should consider myself lucky that he missed this.

[...]

I'm sorry for troubling you with this. It's something that I have to answer to myself.

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lunawolves10th July 19 2011, 05:00:33 UTC
You haven't troubled me, Ciel. If I could help you, I would.

I will wait for you to work things through, and offer my hand in friendship when all is said and done. Though it's not quite the way I swore to my partner, I would offer you my friendship until the end.

Such words have great meaning to an Astartes, as you no doubt know.

And one last thing... if you ever do want to unburden yourself fully of your pain, your thoughts, I will listen to your account.

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