[Text] [Regular Strikes Readable. Bolded strikes not.] [Locked from David.]
[Hoffman can't do video at the moment. He has been staggering around the barge for awhile trying to get the voices in his mind to shut up and be quiet. Mostly, he shouldn't have done it alone. He knows it, but he'll be damned if he will admit it.
He watched his films. All of them. In succession.
*warning for mention of psychosis, cannibalism, rats, and general angst. This will be good for him. I swear.]
He killed them. He killed them for her. If I hadn't been weak I could have killed him. I'll never apologize for Baxter. Never If
I had Amanda would still be on the street my friends would still be alive. Kerry, Eric. Rigg. He wouldn't have made friends with all the damn rats
So has anyone wanted to kill the people who wrote their stories? I think I will make a list. [Be happy this isn't video. He'd be chuckling. Laughing.] A list. It'll start with James Fucking Wan and end with Kevin I-have-a-last-name I can't pronounce. This Bousman fucker [more laughter] shafted me. For her. I wasn't just some fat CSI tech. I wasn't.
This guy. who I have never fucking met Shafted me and showed all the honors to...fuck. It wasn't.
IT FUCKING WASN'T! Then I might have deserved it.
[Another pause]
Parker. I need a day. Maybe longer. I'm taking it. If you want me to come in you're going to have to come and find me.
[Private to Wardens]
I don't deserve this. I've done some awful, awful things, but if somebody could let me into the bar, the pub I'll leave people alone..I need. [Several letter buttons are pressed]
I need to be around people. I need something. Please. [None of you have any idea how hard it is to say that. The lone wolf as a beaten dog.]
[Written Note to Sarah. There are several words scratched out.]
I am not an animal, I am a man and a human being.
If you call me one again I will break every bone in Amanda's body again and leave her on your doorstep. I do not deserve to be treated like a second class citizen.
She had more then I had, and I think she always did.
You were right however. I should not have watched them alone. I trust your instincts. Why the fuck do I trust your instincts. Why the fuck were you right?! Goddamn you.. You were right.
[Private Note to Kay]
caring.
You didn't have to
I left a man to rot in a jail cell because I didn't have enough balls to disobey a serial killer and let him out. [He would have tested him. Of course he would have tested him. He's not there yet.]
I understand if you don't want to speak to me again. Fuck, I don't want to speak to me right now.
[Private note to Morrigan.]
I don't think I was strong enough to handle your teachings.
[Private Note to Amanda: ALL THE LOCKS ON IT FOREVER AND EVER.]
Amanda.
Amanda, you were with Cecil the night Jill lost Gideon. You killed their child. You know it, & I know it, so do exactly as I say. You had everything. You had John's love and attention and he was your father and she was your mother. I have known that for a very, very, long time. He did everything for you.
If you kill me again, I will tell the barge what you did.
Even the creators loved you.
Remember that, go make nice, go hang out with...someone. One of your allies. Go play-the PITIFUL FUCKING NEEDY-
I need to hit something. I want to pretend it's a film director. [He wants to pretend it's Jigsaw.]
He watched his films. All of them. In succession.
*warning for mention of psychosis, cannibalism, rats, and general angst. This will be good for him. I swear.]
He killed them. He killed them for her. If I hadn't been weak I could have killed him. I'll never apologize for Baxter. Never If
I had Amanda would still be on the street my friends would still be alive. Kerry, Eric. Rigg. He wouldn't have made friends with all the damn rats
So has anyone wanted to kill the people who wrote their stories? I think I will make a list. [Be happy this isn't video. He'd be chuckling. Laughing.] A list. It'll start with James Fucking Wan and end with Kevin I-have-a-last-name I can't pronounce. This Bousman fucker [more laughter] shafted me. For her. I wasn't just some fat CSI tech. I wasn't.
This guy. who I have never fucking met Shafted me and showed all the honors to...fuck. It wasn't.
IT FUCKING WASN'T! Then I might have deserved it.
[Another pause]
Parker. I need a day. Maybe longer. I'm taking it. If you want me to come in you're going to have to come and find me.
[Private to Wardens]
I don't deserve this. I've done some awful, awful things, but if somebody could let me into the bar, the pub I'll leave people alone..I need. [Several letter buttons are pressed]
I need to be around people. I need something. Please. [None of you have any idea how hard it is to say that. The lone wolf as a beaten dog.]
[Written Note to Sarah. There are several words scratched out.]
I am not an animal, I am a man and a human being.
If you call me one again I will break every bone in Amanda's body again and leave her on your doorstep. I do not deserve to be treated like a second class citizen.
She had more then I had, and I think she always did.
You were right however. I should not have watched them alone. I trust your instincts. Why the fuck do I trust your instincts. Why the fuck were you right?! Goddamn you.. You were right.
[Private Note to Kay]
caring.
You didn't have to
I left a man to rot in a jail cell because I didn't have enough balls to disobey a serial killer and let him out. [He would have tested him. Of course he would have tested him. He's not there yet.]
I understand if you don't want to speak to me again. Fuck, I don't want to speak to me right now.
[Private note to Morrigan.]
I don't think I was strong enough to handle your teachings.
[Private Note to Amanda: ALL THE LOCKS ON IT FOREVER AND EVER.]
Amanda.
Amanda, you were with Cecil the night Jill lost Gideon. You killed their child. You know it, & I know it, so do exactly as I say. You had everything. You had John's love and attention and he was your father and she was your mother. I have known that for a very, very, long time. He did everything for you.
If you kill me again, I will tell the barge what you did.
Even the creators loved you.
Remember that, go make nice, go hang out with...someone. One of your allies. Go play-the PITIFUL FUCKING NEEDY-
I need to hit something. I want to pretend it's a film director. [He wants to pretend it's Jigsaw.]