Memo To Staff: Azkaban Shoppers Weekly
Dear Staff,
My apolgies for my long absence, if I have indeed been away. I've been on assignment for an important story, one, I think will be of interest to our entire community.
There are, as I'm no doubt sure you'll be shocked to discover, Dementors, yes, our kind, breeding with humans. I have, just this very morning come across the home of one such couple, and such a disgrace I have never seen.
The "husband" was not of pure blood, being perhaps quarter or half-blood Dementor, his really, very lovely "wife", nestled together in a cozy cottage by a cemetary. Now, I know what you're thinking--you're thinking a bit of a toss with a human isn't such a bad thing. We've all done it.
No, the utter disgrace of this is that the couple had a baby--probably just a year old to judge from the remains of the opened gifts lying around the crib.
I think it's time we, as a responsible news organization, spoke out about this shame upon our race. I'm calling for editorials, interviews with families torn apart by this unnatural practice, photos of the blood traitors to be plastered on the pages of our paper.
Meeting to be held this evening, further ideas welcomed, results expected.
Your editor in chief,
A. Dementor
My apolgies for my long absence, if I have indeed been away. I've been on assignment for an important story, one, I think will be of interest to our entire community.
There are, as I'm no doubt sure you'll be shocked to discover, Dementors, yes, our kind, breeding with humans. I have, just this very morning come across the home of one such couple, and such a disgrace I have never seen.
The "husband" was not of pure blood, being perhaps quarter or half-blood Dementor, his really, very lovely "wife", nestled together in a cozy cottage by a cemetary. Now, I know what you're thinking--you're thinking a bit of a toss with a human isn't such a bad thing. We've all done it.
No, the utter disgrace of this is that the couple had a baby--probably just a year old to judge from the remains of the opened gifts lying around the crib.
I think it's time we, as a responsible news organization, spoke out about this shame upon our race. I'm calling for editorials, interviews with families torn apart by this unnatural practice, photos of the blood traitors to be plastered on the pages of our paper.
Meeting to be held this evening, further ideas welcomed, results expected.
Your editor in chief,
A. Dementor