Life in Denmark
I'm not sure I'll ever come to a complete understanding of the people here, though I think I've come to know them much better now than when my naive 16 year old self returned to his homeland in June 2004. But I find that I feel more and act more Danish by the day. I don't smile to strangers - I push my way through crowded Subway doors - I'm a "Bike-Nazi" as we call it during commute hours - I only have four close friends.
Often they so rigidly hold their composure even during the most benevolent circumstances - not flinching even the slightest smile or sign of gratitude as you hold the door open for them in a busy entrance way. They're not sure how to react - such random acts of kindness don't occur here on a regular basis. Why should he hold the door for me? He doesn't know me. Or the bus rides...the god for saken bus rides. You see a bunch of delusioned immigrant teenagers rapping in "darabic" who believe they live in the ghetto whilst refusing to let some old lady have a seat, thus she is tossed around like a tiny tomatoe in a salad bowel amongst a bunch of emotionless strangers, desperately groping for some rail as the bus violently jerks back and forth. Or you'll go to a fancy restaurant, only to find that you're waiting on the waiter, whose decked out in Gucci and D&G (she probably spent all of her monthly earnings on that one belt) just taking her time as she dances around listening to her IPOD totally oblivious to the concept of service.
Or you'll go into the local 7-11 or a grocery store, where 16 year olds are (astonishingly enough) held accountable for the entire store. They take their time. On arrival to work (usually a little late, at around 10:30am) to get themselves started they blast The Voice (our local pop radio station), play a little bit of volleyball at the cashier stand while a huge cue evolves, start stocking up and replenishing all the goods at around 1PM, and then decide to close up early around 6PM - it's been a hard day for them. It's fascinating for me to see this because in the States there would be so much bureacracy and rules against all of this. Here, there is no such thing as service - it's all about practicality - nobody is here to pack your grocery bags, if you're not a parapalegic you're prefectly adept to do it yourself - it's a very "fend for yourself" attitude. What would I do if I wanted to complain to the Grocery Store (the one that is on the first floor of my apartment building, i.e.) about the recklessness of the employes? Well first I'd have to designate a meeting with the 16 year old manager. Sigh.
Although the Danes are a tough, seemingly glass-hearted bunch who take humour to degrading levels and sometimes appear to be as cold as stone at first sight - it is merely just a facade. Now of course I'm exaggerating, people are not that extreme but if you come from areas in the world where people are more extroverted towards stangers and random people (USA, Latin America, Carribean) you'll find that Danes come across as a bit cold. They're very helpful, but cautious at the same time. Once I asked for directions in the street to a pretty blonde woman, and when I expressed my gratitude, she didn't know what to say or do. She just walked away.
Childhood, emotional development, and being "yourself" and "learning at your own pace" is sacred to the Danes. In America, being an individual is taken out of context - you must be the High School Star, Scholar and Athlete simotaneously - evolve into a wealthy corporate business man. Success here is measured by education, little cute accomplishments "Community Service Award", those types of things. There is no inherent cultural pressure to be rich and famous - to live like the celebrities. It's looked down upon - very much - to brag about money or even drive around in fancy cars. Danes are often appauled by shows like "J.LO's Fabulous Life and how she spents 1,000,000 on her baby's new outfit!". Everything is in moderation. No big cars. No bling bling. No gigantic supermarkets. No sprawling identical house communities. No obsession about "BEING A WINNER!". No religion.
Contrary to what people might think, Danes are pretty much the opposite of Americans. The Danish Psyche is as complex and intricate as all others peoples.
I guess this is true for all Northern Europeans, in my opinion. The Danish people are all about no-bullshit. They want results, they want facts, they want a friend that will be with them til the day they die. "Please" does not exist in the vocabularly. Everybody is equal - everybody is capable of serving anybody else, status irrelevant (Unless you're the Queen, whom they love unconditionally). It took me about a year and half until I finally permeated their shell. Once you get to know them, they are the most caring, loyal, and loving bunch you'll ever come across. Just because the Danes take a long time to open up, that doesn't mean they are boring. They party like nobody I know, they love like nobody I know, they enjoy life like nobody I know. They have so much meaning in their lives it seems...like nobody else I know.
I love these people - I love this country. It has taken me a long time to conquer all the culture shock, and now I find myself so assimilated and perceiving everything here as normal rather than foreign which makes me wonder - Am I even an udlænding anymore? I don't feel so anymore. I feel like I belong.
Often they so rigidly hold their composure even during the most benevolent circumstances - not flinching even the slightest smile or sign of gratitude as you hold the door open for them in a busy entrance way. They're not sure how to react - such random acts of kindness don't occur here on a regular basis. Why should he hold the door for me? He doesn't know me. Or the bus rides...the god for saken bus rides. You see a bunch of delusioned immigrant teenagers rapping in "darabic" who believe they live in the ghetto whilst refusing to let some old lady have a seat, thus she is tossed around like a tiny tomatoe in a salad bowel amongst a bunch of emotionless strangers, desperately groping for some rail as the bus violently jerks back and forth. Or you'll go to a fancy restaurant, only to find that you're waiting on the waiter, whose decked out in Gucci and D&G (she probably spent all of her monthly earnings on that one belt) just taking her time as she dances around listening to her IPOD totally oblivious to the concept of service.
Or you'll go into the local 7-11 or a grocery store, where 16 year olds are (astonishingly enough) held accountable for the entire store. They take their time. On arrival to work (usually a little late, at around 10:30am) to get themselves started they blast The Voice (our local pop radio station), play a little bit of volleyball at the cashier stand while a huge cue evolves, start stocking up and replenishing all the goods at around 1PM, and then decide to close up early around 6PM - it's been a hard day for them. It's fascinating for me to see this because in the States there would be so much bureacracy and rules against all of this. Here, there is no such thing as service - it's all about practicality - nobody is here to pack your grocery bags, if you're not a parapalegic you're prefectly adept to do it yourself - it's a very "fend for yourself" attitude. What would I do if I wanted to complain to the Grocery Store (the one that is on the first floor of my apartment building, i.e.) about the recklessness of the employes? Well first I'd have to designate a meeting with the 16 year old manager. Sigh.
Although the Danes are a tough, seemingly glass-hearted bunch who take humour to degrading levels and sometimes appear to be as cold as stone at first sight - it is merely just a facade. Now of course I'm exaggerating, people are not that extreme but if you come from areas in the world where people are more extroverted towards stangers and random people (USA, Latin America, Carribean) you'll find that Danes come across as a bit cold. They're very helpful, but cautious at the same time. Once I asked for directions in the street to a pretty blonde woman, and when I expressed my gratitude, she didn't know what to say or do. She just walked away.
Childhood, emotional development, and being "yourself" and "learning at your own pace" is sacred to the Danes. In America, being an individual is taken out of context - you must be the High School Star, Scholar and Athlete simotaneously - evolve into a wealthy corporate business man. Success here is measured by education, little cute accomplishments "Community Service Award", those types of things. There is no inherent cultural pressure to be rich and famous - to live like the celebrities. It's looked down upon - very much - to brag about money or even drive around in fancy cars. Danes are often appauled by shows like "J.LO's Fabulous Life and how she spents 1,000,000 on her baby's new outfit!". Everything is in moderation. No big cars. No bling bling. No gigantic supermarkets. No sprawling identical house communities. No obsession about "BEING A WINNER!". No religion.
Contrary to what people might think, Danes are pretty much the opposite of Americans. The Danish Psyche is as complex and intricate as all others peoples.
I guess this is true for all Northern Europeans, in my opinion. The Danish people are all about no-bullshit. They want results, they want facts, they want a friend that will be with them til the day they die. "Please" does not exist in the vocabularly. Everybody is equal - everybody is capable of serving anybody else, status irrelevant (Unless you're the Queen, whom they love unconditionally). It took me about a year and half until I finally permeated their shell. Once you get to know them, they are the most caring, loyal, and loving bunch you'll ever come across. Just because the Danes take a long time to open up, that doesn't mean they are boring. They party like nobody I know, they love like nobody I know, they enjoy life like nobody I know. They have so much meaning in their lives it seems...like nobody else I know.
I love these people - I love this country. It has taken me a long time to conquer all the culture shock, and now I find myself so assimilated and perceiving everything here as normal rather than foreign which makes me wonder - Am I even an udlænding anymore? I don't feel so anymore. I feel like I belong.