FATE WORSE THAN DEATH
Sure, confronting your own mortality brings on unspeakable terror, but there are worse things.
You stroll through the woods, cracking branches beneath your feet. A nearby squirrel, gnawing a nut, hears you. Suddenly it freezes and snaps its head. That’s the amygdala-the fear center-in action. Its goal is to live another day, using one of three options: fight, flight, or freeze.
Regardless of species, as long as a creature has an amygdala, it will have the same responses. Most animals only respond to physical threats. Humans, on the other hand, have two lives: one physical, one symbolic. We react to symbolic threats the same way we react to physical ones-fight, flight, freeze. Only instead of fear, it’s called shame.
Which would you prefer: to die heroically in combat for a greater cause, or flee and live a long life of ridicule and exile with the unshakable label of “coward”?
Symbolic death is worse than physical death; we don’t just want to live, we want our lives to have meaning.
The ancient Greeks were particularly creative in their visions of hell: rolling a boulder up a hill for eternity, being chained up while your liver is pecked out daily, trying to fill a bottomless bucket. All are fates worse than death. No escape, no worth, no purpose, no hope. Even if the physical being is perfectly healthy, without these, there is no “real” life.
When someone commits suicide, you’re bound to hear a “tsk tsk” followed by a, “Suicide is so selfish.” People commit suicide for various reasons (e.g. overwhelming physical pain, anxiety, frustration,) but consider the following: Say you believe you’re a contagion upon humankind. Sure, if you kill yourself, some people may be sad, but that’s nothing compared to the damage you’ll do by continuing to live. In this case, wouldn’t it be selfish to not kill yourself?
Rational? No. But it follows its own sort of logic. Death is desirable when something else is worse. What’s worse than death? Well, a life in which you can only hurt those you love would be one, though there are many.
A teenager gets an A- on a paper. Her body responds as if in mortal danger. The kid next to her gets a C-. She’s fine-happy even; last time she got a D. What’s the problem? People of all grade averages go on to live long, fulfilling lives. It’s not like the A- will jump off the page and punch anyone.
Here we have contingent self-worth, which can be based on a number of things: grades, salary, attractiveness, specific ability/talent. These are superficial; they aren’t in themselves values. The physical self is made of flesh and bones; the symbolic self is made of values. Most people struggle in life because they haven’t grasped onto any real values. Symbolic death has an advantage that physical death does not: rebirth.
Compare someone with a contingent self-worth on academic achievement with someone who is driven by a love of learning. A bad grade won’t injure the person with a love of learning; learning is in itself rewarding and doesn’t need any external validation. Conversely, if the grade is the only goal, any actual learning is irrelevant. Grades can only be given by a school. Fail that, and you’re stuck. If you have a love of learning and fail to understand something, just learn about something else.
Values can be fulfilled in countless ways. There are plenty of values to choose from: truth, justice, love, courage, humility, so on and so on. Those who attach to values have consistently high levels of self-worth.
When a fate worse than death sinks your boat, don’t drown in your own despair. Values are indestructible. Find one to float on.
You stroll through the woods, cracking branches beneath your feet. A nearby squirrel, gnawing a nut, hears you. Suddenly it freezes and snaps its head. That’s the amygdala-the fear center-in action. Its goal is to live another day, using one of three options: fight, flight, or freeze.
Regardless of species, as long as a creature has an amygdala, it will have the same responses. Most animals only respond to physical threats. Humans, on the other hand, have two lives: one physical, one symbolic. We react to symbolic threats the same way we react to physical ones-fight, flight, freeze. Only instead of fear, it’s called shame.
Which would you prefer: to die heroically in combat for a greater cause, or flee and live a long life of ridicule and exile with the unshakable label of “coward”?
Symbolic death is worse than physical death; we don’t just want to live, we want our lives to have meaning.
The ancient Greeks were particularly creative in their visions of hell: rolling a boulder up a hill for eternity, being chained up while your liver is pecked out daily, trying to fill a bottomless bucket. All are fates worse than death. No escape, no worth, no purpose, no hope. Even if the physical being is perfectly healthy, without these, there is no “real” life.
When someone commits suicide, you’re bound to hear a “tsk tsk” followed by a, “Suicide is so selfish.” People commit suicide for various reasons (e.g. overwhelming physical pain, anxiety, frustration,) but consider the following: Say you believe you’re a contagion upon humankind. Sure, if you kill yourself, some people may be sad, but that’s nothing compared to the damage you’ll do by continuing to live. In this case, wouldn’t it be selfish to not kill yourself?
Rational? No. But it follows its own sort of logic. Death is desirable when something else is worse. What’s worse than death? Well, a life in which you can only hurt those you love would be one, though there are many.
A teenager gets an A- on a paper. Her body responds as if in mortal danger. The kid next to her gets a C-. She’s fine-happy even; last time she got a D. What’s the problem? People of all grade averages go on to live long, fulfilling lives. It’s not like the A- will jump off the page and punch anyone.
Here we have contingent self-worth, which can be based on a number of things: grades, salary, attractiveness, specific ability/talent. These are superficial; they aren’t in themselves values. The physical self is made of flesh and bones; the symbolic self is made of values. Most people struggle in life because they haven’t grasped onto any real values. Symbolic death has an advantage that physical death does not: rebirth.
Compare someone with a contingent self-worth on academic achievement with someone who is driven by a love of learning. A bad grade won’t injure the person with a love of learning; learning is in itself rewarding and doesn’t need any external validation. Conversely, if the grade is the only goal, any actual learning is irrelevant. Grades can only be given by a school. Fail that, and you’re stuck. If you have a love of learning and fail to understand something, just learn about something else.
Values can be fulfilled in countless ways. There are plenty of values to choose from: truth, justice, love, courage, humility, so on and so on. Those who attach to values have consistently high levels of self-worth.
When a fate worse than death sinks your boat, don’t drown in your own despair. Values are indestructible. Find one to float on.