Restoration
A lot has changed with me......Just recently I was finally released from the high degree of physical pain that had me utterly desensitized to life. All the previous years of the life and spirit in me being totally suppressed and the pain so laced through out my being ; it took over and manipulated me so much so that it was like I was nothing more than a second witness to my life. No one knew the real me then....all they were interacting with was the physical pain. It slowly coaxed my spirit to leave my body so the real me was always elsewhere in the universe and when I'd sleep is when it'd become real. Now that I am fully engaged, it's time to live through who I really am instead of always having to tell people who I was when I was elsewhere. I don't have to put up with people trying to tell me any different just because I wasn't able to live it. I was more than metaphorically in my own Little world. When the pain was taken care of thanks to some man that specializes in Natural Healing and discovered that the bone in my right leg was shorter then my left leg by like 15mm...it was almost like the events of my life were like the fall of Dominoes.......I wasn't literally stuck in limbo anymore......I was able to leave a job where the ppl treated me like shit for a better one and I actually have a boyfriend now.....I decided I'd rather learn to be accepting of my boyfriend who is in love with me and treats me like I'm everything then continue to teach Mauricio that it was acceptable to take Me for Granted...just because I was in Love with him....but now I'm starting to doubt it. I just hope I'm with this new guy for all the right reasons...With him it's because his family makes me feel like family, I'm comfortable enough to be myself around him cuz he accepts me for who I am which is rare.....I want to be fair to him....but at the same time I'm always going to be in love with Mauricio. With him, it was his intellect, who he is, and his interests. How do I know that I'm not with this other guy just because it's convenient and it's helping me to forget bout the individual I'm really in love with? I don't know what to do. I don't even know how he feels anymore. Am so Confused. I'll absorb anyone's opinion or advice .....And I'm able to work on re bonding with my sisters again. I've been restored....and it's so weird....I can breathe now......I still experience a mild kind of pain but it's nothing compared to what I was in.