(no subject)
I have a very strange feeling that there is something that I've forgotten, something that I'm missing. Not lost, just something that I have yet to derive or discover, or something I found that I need to reveal. But somehow it eluds me and I sit, defeated, pondering what it is that I have forgotten. Its no use, I can't remember, I've tried, and there are all of the symptoms of forgetfull defeat; the gnawing feeling in my stomach, the feeling of nervousness and at the same time, feelings of anticipation. Something that I want to go away but can not bring myself to stop thinking about, uselessly trying to remember. I know what it is, subconsiously, in the back of my mind, but its just a shadow a glimmer of what I'm really in need of. A mirage tempting me to find the answer. But mabye I don't need the answer after all. It could be troubling, disheartening, saddening and make me wish I had forgotten. Which brings me to this point right now; am I striving to remember what I strove to forgot? Or am I forgetting something worthy of remembrance. Decide for yourself. I'll just go on thinking, pondering, searching . . .