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Things That Matter (7/8)

[anonymous]

"Lu Han, look at me," Yixing beckons, voice dripping sweet like syrup and Lu Han's eyes open against his will, leaving him no choice but to watch Yixing touching himself while he blabbers mindlessly. "I'm so good for you. I've always only thought about you, when Shinee sunbaenims taught me how to suck cock-"

"Yixing!"

"-and when manager hyung took me from behind. Sometimes, I lie awake at night and you're right there, sleeping peacefully. I touch myself, like this, like right now, and moan your name, hoping you wake up and want me."

"Yixing, shut up! That's a lie. You never did any of that!" Lu Han wipes hot tears from his face and takes a few steps towards Yixing. He's shaking. "Please come back, Yixing, this is not you."

Yixing closes his eyes, blocking out Lu Han's words. "Lu Han, call me slut, please. I'm your little slut. Look, I'm fuck- ahh, fucked open just for you." He slides two fingers into himself slowly, down to the knuckles, even as a tear slips from the corner of his closed eyes and Lu Han's heart aches silently. He reaches out and strokes Yixing's upper thigh, pressing his face against his knee, shoulder shaking with sobs as he cries for his best friend, cries for Yifan and Jongin who are in danger of heart failure with every minute that passes, and for himself because he's hard and burning with shame. Everything is so wrong and he doesn't know how to make it right anymore.

"Ge? Are you crying?" comes a small, timid voice. "You can't... I didn't mean to make you cry. I'll stop, okay?"

"Yixing?" Lu Han lifts his head, blinking through the tears until Yixing's face swims into view and he sees clear eyes looking back at him for a moment until Yixing slumps back down and turns to lie on his side after closing his knees. The boy mumbles. "I'm sorry. It just hurts so much."

"You scared the fuck out of me! I thought... I thought you'd lost it." Now that Lu Han can see Yixing's back, he notices the red scratches running from the middle of his back across one shoulder blade and a thin trickle of red between his upper thighs. "My god," he breathes. "Who did that to you?" But Lu Han knows it already, he's heard it.

"It's nothing," Yixing says. "It looks worse than it is, you know my blood clots too slowly. In the bathroom there are condoms. I'm really gross right now." Lu Han can tell that he tries to speak calmly but he knows the other boy too well not to notice the thinness of his voice. He brings one of the little square condom packets and the bottle of lube.

"Leave the lube. I'm still-" Yixing draws a breath and closes his eyes. "We don't need it. There's not much left, leave it for the next two."

Lu Han takes his clothes off unceremoniously and lies down behind Yixing, sliding his arms around his waist and hugging him tightly to his chest. He drops a small kiss to the back of Yixing's neck which raises goosebumps on the sensitive skin there. It almost brings a smile to Lu Han's face. He watches his breath ruffle the little, curly hairs behind Yixing's ear when he whispers. "Hey XingXing, you know I love you, right? You're my best friend."

"Yeah, I know. I love you too," Yixing sighs and pushes back so that he's flush against Lu Han's chest. Lu Han lets his eyes flutter close as he rubs his dick along the cleft of Yixing's ass. It is still slippery and even though Lu Han manages to suppress a moan, there's no way the twitch of his cock and the way his heart pounds against his ribcage go unnoticed by Yixing.

"When all of this is over and we'll get out of here, we'll forget about this, right?" He's glad he's not facing Yixing right now. Coward, his mind screams at him. Yixing nods. "It's okay, ge. You can... I'm ready." He arches his back a little and Lu Han pushes in. The slide in is so easy even with a condom on that Lu Han doesn't stop until he can't go any deeper, his full length inside and his balls pressed against Yixing's ass. Yixing makes high, keening noises and if Lu Han didn't know his voice so well, he could delude himself into thinking he was just some girl. Yixing's muscles clench and he's so hot and slick inside that Lu Han can't keep still. He pulls out a tiny fraction and slams right back in, starting to rock his hips at a fast pace that won't let him last long.