post #24
TL;DR RULES
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
Days and months blur together until he can't tell anything apart spare for night and day, when the sun has sunk and stars have risen, when he can curl on his side and watch red lights of his alarm glare back at him as it records the minutes pass. He can't recall a life other than this mundane one where he punches holes to signal his arrival or departure, where his desk is stacked with piles of paper waiting him to complete before the day is over.
(Actually he can but anything is better than recalling what could have been.)
Today is the same as yesterday and same as the day before that. It will be the same tomorrow and the day after that. His phone rings once. Twice. He picks it up and listens to his brother's baritone on the other side, same questions like every other day.
How is your boss treating you? Are you eating? Are you alright?
(Fine. Yes. -silence- Why wouldn't I be?)
The laborious call ends and Kyungsoo finally has a taste of peace. He works in the kitchen, works because it keeps his mind off things, preparing the ingredients for dinner. The first few months he moved away from Beijing was torture. He cooked an extra meal, left two slippers out, and bid goodnight with another name on his tongue. He's stopped but sometimes when he closes his eyes he can see the other from the corner of his eye or feel long arms against his waist.
He tells himself that they aren't real and pinches himself out of illusions.
("Moments like this, I can feel your heart beating as clearly as I feel my own, and I know that separation is an illusion.")
He perches himself against the window, glancing down at the scene that unfolds below. His brother had been generous, securing Kyungsoo with a view of Han River, big enough to house two. He hates his brother for it. Everything serving as a reminder of what could have been. Perhaps that is why he keeps it in a state of half moved in and half ready to move out.
(He wonders if he will ever get used to this. He fears the answer is no.)
The barista shuffles under his gaze, fingers straightening her apron as Kyungsoo ponders over what he should have today. He doesn't know why he's here. The place is doused in the smell of coffee, the same aroma that lingers in bleached hair and crescent finger nails. He blinks. "Americano please," he finally orders as he pushes the exact amount towards the girl. It is not his favorite.
He's early as usual. Nods and slight bows everywhere before he reaches his seat. The smile flattered on his face should hurt but he's used to it. He is greeted with another pile of paperwork and turns to the clock in the back, counting the hours it would take to leave this place. It is going to be a late night but he has no one to return to.
His mind gets lost in numbers and words as his fingers work swiftly on the keyboard, clicks resounding his small box as he moves from paper to digital in a systematic form. It may seem so normal in someone else's eyes, hard to imagine that this man once had wild dreams. It isn't until the rustle around him does he realize that it is lunch time already. His co-workers get up to find their respective friends and head to lunch.
"Hey," he's interrupted by a looming head over his box walls, brown hair and thick rimmed glasses are the characteristics of his only friend in this place. "Care to join me for lunch?"
His eyes flicker to the clock in the back. He doesn't think he can afford an hour. Probably twenty minutes at most to the coffee shop for another dose and a sandwich perhaps. "Sorry, not to today, Chanyeol," he adds a smile in case.
He receives a huff and a "fine, fine. Stop trying to horde all the bonuses." Which earns a laugh from Kyungsoo.
After the foot steps recede, he stretches himself out and heads for the coffee place he visited earlier today.
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(Kyungsoo's the one who left so why, why does it feel like he's the one left behind instead)
He has yet to spot Kyungsoo yet but...
How did Yifan know? Even if he knew Kyungsoo was in Seoul how did he know where to start? He had deleted all contact information and handed his phone to his brother to discard-
Shit.
He glances down at himself. Nothing to boast of spare for beat up pride and tamed dreams. Mediocre life that both had disdained in the past. Now he is the very symbol of that with his suit and tie and smoothed back hair.
He can see two paths before him. One, where he can run back into those arms. He knows what he'll find there. He'll just fall right back into the other, right back into wild dreams and fantasies. He knows the other by heart. Knows the very nook of his nose to the dip in his spine. Knows the way Yifan's lips press against his firm yet soft, reprimanding him from leaving. Maybe this time he'll find acrylic imbedded in those nails instead of coffee. Maybe this time Yifan will move in with him.
(He cannot deny his desire for this path.)
But he has to move on. Has to mature past unattainable dreams and focus on the road his brother has helped him carve out.
His eyes scan the cafe and land on a table with just an individual seated, where Yifan can see him perfectly. He seats himself there, earning a lift of a brow in question since there are so many empty tables around.
"Sorry," Kyungsoo says in a hurry. "Let me treat you to your meal if you are willing to do me a favor," he adds with a smile as he reaches for the stranger's hand. He misses the widening of the other's eyes as he glances at Yifan from the corner of his own. "I'm Do Kyungsoo, by the way. Pleased to meet you," he introduces.
He thinks he hears a 'Kim Joonmyeon' but the rest is lost when he sees the hurt and betrayal flashing through the other's eyes. It tugs at his own heart. Kyungsoo knew exactly what this search has meant because both are versed in the language of silence and yet... He watches the slump of Yifan's shoulders as he turns away, now fully glancing at the glass until he can no longer trace the other's shadows.
(He's not going to cry. He didn't then and he isn't going to now. He knows the ending so why is it still so painful?)
He is interrupted by a "someone special?" He remembers where he is seated and his face flushes slightly from his outrageous behavior, desperation had seized him during those moments.
"Was," he mildly corrects.
"I see," adopting a tone of understanding before launching into another topic. Kyungsoo is grateful of the other's attempts to cheer him up despite both being strangers. He's kind. Far too kind. But they both stay beyond their respective lunch breaks as their conversation lasts long into the afternoon.
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(One year more and it would be a sore reminder)
He also learns that they once had the same dream. Joonmyeon had been a trainee of some famous entertainment company and watched people younger than him, in age and trainee years, debut before him. Afraid that he was going to be kicked out as a failed case, he left instead.
"Imagine if I was part of a boy band," laughing over bottles of beer and scattered snacks. Kyungsoo tries to catch his breath as the other continues, "imagine if you were in it too! You'd be all wide-eyed and stage frightened but all the fans will still love you." His words were starting to slur but the image was still hilarious. Kyungsoo shakes his head.
"I-I can't. Me stuck in a dorm with five other guys? It would be a miracle if they were alive." Joonmyeon laughs again as Kyungsoo pauses. "And dancing? I can't dance."
"That's why you train, Kyungsoo-ah." He shakes his head in fervor. Nope. "And your ex would make such a popular member too."
In which Kyungsoo barks in reply because the idea is preposterous tears nearly spill from his eyes as he laughs. "He's a walking disaster on two feet. Not to mention his so called 'art sense' is so overwhelming that it is impossible he would let it go to become famous in some other way."
He is answered by silence and a quiet smile when he turns to meet the other's gaze. "What?" he demands.
Joonmyeon shakes his head and says, "nothing," only to give up under Kyungsoo's stares. "It's just, I'm glad that I can mention him without your face looking like you just swallowed lemons."
"I do not." The other smiles and reaches over to make a mess of Kyungsoo's hair in which he swats away with a growl.
This is a change. In the past Kyungsoo used to believe that love was built upon silence and understanding, upon the ability to read each other like the back of your hand, upon understanding each gesture and expression without a word passing through their lips. But this is something different all together. Silences are still comfortable when fingers caress each other but words are passed between, making it so much easier, making it hard for things to be misinterpreted. It is comfort of another form, comfort wrought with ease.
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"That's easy isn't it?" Surprise wraps itself around Kyungsoo's frame as Joonmyeon gives up deciphering the hidden questions within the first one. "I would follow you."
"That's it?" tone slightly shocked but mostly disappointed, he had expected something different.
"Well before that I would probably ask you to stay. Don't go," he offers a sheepish smile that warms Kyungsoo's heart.
(He has never remembered three words being so simple)
"Why?" his voice breaks as the question slips out, barely audible.
"Because I love you."
Kyungsoo knows he should smile, should laugh because he's finally found what he has been waiting for all these years but salty tears roll down his cheeks as his shoulders suffer under his ugly sobs.
"Hey, hey" the others calls softly as he wipes away the tears with the palm of his hand. "I know it was cheesy but you don't have to cry about it." He grunts when Kyungsoo punches him in the stomach, affectionately of course.
And maybe, Kyungsoo thinks, that although this may not have been the ending he wanted, this is still a form of happiness.
Love can be expressed through actions and expressions, soft whispers against the skin and held hands through the night. But there are some things that must be conveyed with words.
Note: Excuse the cheesy ending but I couldn't help it since kyungmyeon is my fluff pairing and krisoo is my angst otp TT btw drift is linked here: http://exopromptmeme.livejournal.com/7056.html?thread=2735760#t2735760
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OMFG THIS IS SO CUTE AND I AM DKAHDLAHKKLDSJA:LDJ DEAD I REALLY LOVED THIS
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