post #21
TL;DR RULES
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
sehun really is just that much handsomer in real life, with eyes that are little more lightless that everyone else's. he has dark hair and jongin recalls that the last time he saw a picture of sehun, his hair had been pink. he wonders if this had simply slipped his memory.
"i like you," he repeats, and he's the one ducking his head, so jongin doesn't even have a chance to look at him closely. his eyelashes are long and the dim kitchen light casts shadows over his cheekbones. "i like you so much it's stupid, especially since we're going to be leaving for university soon, and i should have just let it fade with time, but i really couldn't, i'm so sorry, and i just wanted to see your face once, and, i don't know, go out with you once, or twice, or maybe three times and more, or--"
jongin does something he's never done before, but then again, sehun takes a lot of his firsts. he lifts sehun's face up again so he can see his eyes and--
for a moment jongin is so slammed with emotion that he chokes. grief concentrated coils in the pit of his stomach and he almost retches. the image of sehun staring up at the face he cannot see swims in his vision. then, the beat-up rolex he always wears replaces it and it is august 23, 2013. it is two months from today, and jongin is afraid he might throw up right in his best friend's lap.
time has not passed.
his lips say words he never planned to write.
"i like you too. too much."
sehun kisses with his eyes closed, and jongin is thankful.
+
there is none of the shy flirting that opens every relationship, because jongin knows too much and has too little to offer. although he knows nothing will happen until the 23rd of august, he is always terrified of letting sehun out of his sight.
he doesn't want to be a clingy boyfriend.
what're you up to?
dorm shopping. you?
jongin's thumbs pause over the screen of his phone, wishing he could see sehun's face right now.
take care of yourself, he texts back simply.
sehun does bring it up. jongin has a space air con and sehun does not, so he runs to jongin's house on the sweltering summer nights. they squeeze into the bed together and sehun is but a human blanket over jongin's entire right half.
"why do you always tell me to take care? it's not like i'm going far away."
jongin turns his head in his pillow so that he can look at sehun's face. when their eyes meet jongin sees nothing but feels that familiar jolt of dread around his navel, and he smiles.
"because you're a clumsy fuck."
sehun pouts and he kisses it. jongin can feel sehun's mouth closing around his bottom lip as he shifts to press closer, hand sliding over the thin fabric of jongin's tee, fingers pressing into his abdomen. jongin shivers and the only repentance sehun offers is a thigh against jongin's crotch and he moans--at the feeling, and at the knowledge that the days they can lie together like this are numbered.
he falls asleep with his back pressed against jongin's, and jongin stares at the calendar on the wall. it is july 28th, and they're running out of time.
+
it becomes a balancing act between family and jongin. how can jongin look sehun's parents in the eye, knowing that their youngest son was going to die in four, three, two weeks? never mind if they found out sehun was sleeping with jongin virtually every night, whether or not they knew.
jongin has learned you don't share your tragedies until you've written them.
"you always look so sad when you look at me," sehun whispers against his mouth, weight heavy against jongin's chest. they lie in jongin's bed, clothed, kissing for the sake of kissing. "smile sometime, grumpycat."
"you didn't just call me a meme."
"it's my favorite meme."
jongin slides his fingers into sehun's hair and holds his face millimeters away from his own. "what if i had secrets i could never tell," jongin says, closing his eyes. "secrets that destroy me inside out."
"they can't be that bad."
jongin's eyelids flutter open, and sehun looks sad, too. he braces his hands on jongin's chest and leans down to kiss him again.
it is august 16th.
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