post #19
TL;DR RULES
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
1. post anonymously unless linking to a fill posted somewhere else
2. use the subject line to indicate pairing (in alphabetical order using stage names i.e.baekhyun/chanyeol) prompt details go in the comment.
3. use necessary content warnings
4. do not embed on meme. link to images/videos. label nsfw content.
5. do not repost prompts ( Read more... )
yifan notices him at the corner of his eye and he slumps down. he’s not prepared to deal with joonmyun yet, not until he’s done dealing with himself.
the younger male walks slowly towards him, dropping his backpack at the side. he stands in front of yifan, watching him stare at the ground and play with the hem of his shirt.
“i’m just so confused. i don’t understand myself anymore; i don’t understand why,” yifan whispers.
joonmyun stares at his feet and mutters a quiet, “i can help you feel good,” in stilted mandarin and he hears yifan chuckle a little.
“you make everything wrong feel so… right,” yifan lets out a humorless laugh, “and that sounds so damn cheesy but it’s everything that i’m feeling right now. wrong and right.”
joonmyun is still staring at his feet and kicking up the dirt. he doesn’t know what to say. he doesn’t know how to say it. he’s confused because yifan’s confused and if yifan wasn’t confused then maybe he wouldn’t too.
he’s never had a choice, never had the option to decide for himself. moving to china? his father got promoted and he was sent here. going to this school? it was the best they could afford with the money they got from the promotion.
he was helpless and confused, and so was yifan.
joonmyun kneels down in front of him, moving yifan’s hands away from his face. he breathes in and out, steeling himself for what he’s going to do.
kim joonmyun has rarely ever had a choice in what he did. from who he was since he was born, to who he will be in the future; he’s never had the final decision.
but he makes the choice to press his lips against yifan, despite the fear in his mind and the fear in yifan’s.
there’s hesitation in his movements, hesitation stemming from the small abuses he’s received from yifan in the past and from the expectations that he’s placed upon himself since forever ago. he knows that he’s not sure in what he’s doing, and that there will always be a part of him that tells him to do things that he’ll regret, but he convinces himself that this will not be another misguided regret of his.
yifan holds his face, staring deep into his eyes. he nods slightly, an understanding between them.
they kiss again and there’s firmness in it; another understanding between them.
i'm so embarrassed just by posting this omg forgive me if it kind of sucks
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and i want to know who you areeeeee unanon yourself on sncj~~~
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