Maybe
As stupid as it sounds, there are times when I feel like being in a relationship is suffocating.
Like I can't breathe; like I'm better without.
Sometimes, I don't feel happy.
Maybe I'm being too selfish; maybe I'm expecting too much.
Part of the time, I'm convinced it's me.
I get annoyed by video games just by the mention of it.
I don't want to play videos.
I don't want to play a game.
Then what do you want?
I don't know but I know what I DON'T want, however that doesn't seem like it's good enough for you.
I feel constrained. I'm moody.
Maybe because I'm sexually unhappy seven times out of ten.
Maybe because I enjoy sex but I don't receive the most out of it.
Maybe because there's no try in the word trying.
I'm ranting.
Excuse me.
Sometimes, I try to tell myself that the positive outweighs the negative.
But day by day, I feel like the negative is beginning to break my back.
Sometimes it doesn't feel like it's enough.
How stupid is it that I feel this way?
Such a stupid girl to ponder over a stupid thing.
Relationships.
There're plenty of other boys.
But it gets trivial when you feel suffocated by the one you want the most.
I'm sad that I feel like there's no time for me;
Maybe it's better if we don't Skype at all if all you're going to do is stare and watch something else;
Maybe we shouldn't call at random times during the day if all we're going to talk about is small talk;
I'm ranting.
I'm sorry.
I feel like I'm a wilting flower, but maybe this is all just in my head.
Maybe you're the best one for me;
Maybe you understand me better than anyone;
Maybe you think those small talks are worth talking to me for;
Maybe you do try;
It's all just maybe.
Maybe it's in my head.
But I still feel sad.