And Then There Was You 11
And Then There Was You
Chapter 11: Chances
When Chanyeol woke up, the small house was still surrounded by darkness. Daylight was still on the verge of breaking through the horizon, but when he rolled over and peaked in Baekhyun’s direction, he realized that the man beside him had already rolled up his futon, clearing out his side of the area. Plopping back on his side, Chanyeol closed his eyes, wondering if he should try and go back to sleep or pull himself together and start his day.
After a few minutes had passed, it was the sound of a distant bell slowly etching closer and closer to the house that caught his curiosity enough to sit upright and decide on the latter.
Once the bedding was quietly put away and realizing that his father was still asleep in the separate room, Chanyeol made light footsteps towards to door and slipped on the thick boots they had brought with them.
The moment he stepped out of the house, he was hit by the morning air, chilly and slightly uncomfortable. It didn’t take long or much investigation to figure out where the sound of bells was originating from. Down the only pathway that led up to the small house, he could see Baekhyun slowly leading a black ox by a rope tied around its neck where a bell hung, making noise with every step the giant animal took.
Chanyeol decided to walk closer, meeting the brunet just as he was approaching the house. The animal didn’t seem to mind the new stranger, and Baekhyun looked almost indifferent which was more or less the reaction that Chanyeol had expected despite the fact that he was slightly hoping it would be otherwise. “Morning,” he said, smiling.
Noticing the grogginess in the man’s demeanor, Baekhyun nodded, wondering if any recollection from the night before had stuck. “Didn’t think you’d be able to wake up this early.”
“I almost didn’t,” Chanyeol replied honestly. Glancing over, he watched the ox as it swayed side to side. “I would’ve gone with you to get this thing if you had woken me up.”
“You looked like you were enjoying your sleep, so I just left you alone.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
Chanyeol ignored the way Baekhyun was quick to turn his eyes in his direction. “Don’t you have a hangover from last night?”
Pursing his lips, Baekhyun shook his head. “Not really.”
“Not really?” Raising a brow, Chanyeol chuckled. “I wish I recovered from hangovers like you. Got any secrets to share?”
“Yes. It’s called having responsibilities the next morning.”
Stopping in his tracks, Chanyeol crossed his arms together in an attempt to appear wounded and upset, though the farce was quite obvious. “What’re you trying to say, Byun Baek?”
Baekhyun rolled his eyes, trying to withhold himself from laughing at the latter’s child-like behavior. Kyungsoo rarely threw tantrums, but when he was visibly upset, his pout resembled that of Chanyeol’s by a little bit. “What do you think I’m trying to say, Mr. Park?”
“Something that’s not very nice.” Chanyeol put a hand on his chest, acting offended. “Ouch… I think you should apologize.”
“Why? I thought it was a good come back,” Baekhyun said with a brief shrug as he continued walking, leaving the latter to follower after him. “It was funny.”
“It’s not cute to toot your own horn, Baek.”
“Didn’t say I was trying to be cute.”
“You’re right. You don’t have to try.”
Chanyeol laughed at the look of surprise on Baekhyun’s face, but the grin on his face remained afterwards. The playfulness of the conversation was refreshing. “You know, without Kyungsoo around, you talk differently around me.”
Softly chuckling, Baekhyun smiled up at the giant. “I used to call it the ‘Adult Pacifier’ effect because you really have to watch what you say and do in front of kids. They pick things up pretty quickly. You’d be surprised!”
It wasn’t until then that Chanyeol realized it was something he missed seeing. For a second, he found himself stalling, lost in thought before looking off at the house when it registered in his mind that Baekhyun was staring at him, as if confused by the expression on his face.
“Knowing how smart Kyungsoo is,” Chanyeol started, clearing his throat in the process, “I can see why you’d need to watch what you say around him..”
Arriving at the front of the house, Chanyeol turned and watched as Baekhyun led the ox to a nearby wooden post, looping the rope around it until it was secured by a simple knot. It brought his attention back to the animal as he questioned its purpose. Chanyeol knew that they needed it in order to overturn the thick, muddy rice fields and plow through the ground, but using an ox seemed inefficient.
“Have you two always used an ox?”
“Yes. Why?” Baekhyun retorted, looking back at him. “Do you need me to teach you how to use the plow using animal power? You might’ve forgotten how to by now--”
Waving a hand, Chanyeol interrupted him midway. “I still remember. What I mean is, why hasn’t he bought a mechanical one? I send them money every month. I was half expecting them to invest it back into upgrading some decent farming equipment.”
Baekhyun thought about the question before deciding the matter wasn’t up for him to decide. “You should ask your father. I don’t really know anything about their finances or the farming business,” he admitted. “If you want better machinery, then we’ll have to figure it out later because you need to start turning over the field today.”
“I must’ve missed the part where I volunteered to be the ox caretaker.”
Putting a hand to his hip, Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a tired look as he sighed. “I’m being serious, Yeol,” he said. “I know you’re kidding, but all jokes aside, we have to get the field overturned before the sun makes it too hot. Otherwise, you’re probably going to pass out.”
The weary tone in Baekhyun’s voice was enough to straighten Chanyeol’s attitude. Nodding, the giant took one look at the ox before meeting the smaller male’s gaze again. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to--”
Baekhyun stopped him. “It’s okay. I just want to make it clear that we’re only here for a few days and your father’s land isn’t that big. It’s just best to remain coordinated if we want to get it done on time. If we have any delays, we might have to stay another day, but that cuts into your vacation time and adds more burden for your mother who’d be stuck babysitting Kyungsoo.”
The mention of their son being at home with his grandmother made Chanyeol smile, which came as a surprise to the brunet. “If I didn’t know my mother any better, I’d say that she’s actually at home praying that something goes wrong just so she can spend more time with him.”
“And knowing Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun started, crossing his arms as he walked toward the father of his son, “I’d say that he’s praying that we finish early. I did promise him that the three of us would spend some time together before you go back to Seoul. The excitement is probably going to keep him up for the next few days.”
“Right… About that-- Seoul, I mean.”
Baekhyun could see where the conversation was heading and decided to cut it short the best way he knew how. “I already know you told him that he could live with you,” he said, pursing his lips together. “We can discuss the terms of custody later tonight if--”
“Baekhyun, I don’t want to discuss custody.”
Confused, Baekhyun furrowed his brows together and frowned. Thoughts ran across his mind at the speed of bullets, yet none of them felt right as to what Chanyeol’s intentions were. Not even the expression on his face could give away a single hint.
“We need to talk about us.”
Baekhyun stared at him with a contorted, confused expression. His lips parted, yet the hesitation stopped him from immediately responding. Realizing how close they actually were in proximity to one another, Baekhyun took one step back and dropped his arms to his sides. “Us...?” he said, his voice lower than it was before. “If you want to talk about parenting styles, then that’s fine. But not right now--”
Chanyeol shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
His gaze dropped to the ground for a few seconds before he looked back up. He hadn’t taken the time to fully realize the sun was beginning to peak from the horizon until he saw the warm early morning tones wash over the brunet whose eyes seemed to glisten in the light.
When he finally snapped out of his daze and responded moments after, the playful air that had surrounded Chanyeol before was gone. “I want you and Kyungsoo to live with me in Seoul.”
“What?” Baekhyun was in disbelief.
“There are better schools for him in the city--private ones,” Chanyeol continued, disregarding the look Baekhyun gave him. “There are after-school programs and activities for kids his age to do. Museums, parks, libraries… Even pediatric care and hospitals if he ever needs them. It’s all there.”
“Chanyeol--”
“And… if you’re there with me, Kyungsoo doesn’t have to spend any time traveling between us.”
Pressing his lips together, Baekhyun tried his best to level his breathing. With his heart racing, it was an effort with little effect. “So you want to put the two of us in a nearby condo to make visiting easier.”
“No.” There was a short pause of silence. “I want you to move in with me.”
The sound of the front door being pushed open surprised both of them as they turned their heads to see Chanyeol’s father slowly walking down the steps. Pressing his lips together, Baekhyun took two large steps back, away from the giant, before smiling at the older man and greeting him.
Chanyeol stayed in place for a few seconds, replaying the expression of shock and loss written on Baekhyun’s face the moment he mentioned Seoul… Then, followed in the brunet’s suit and greeted his father as though their exchange hadn’t happened.
-
-
Pulling back his hat, Baekhyun wiped the sweat off his forehead with an arm as he stretched his back. It was beginning to ache from having spent hours bent over, placing the small rice seedlings in the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he peered at Chanyeol who hadn’t complained much since starting the day.
The Park’s plot of land wasn’t very large. It had expanded over the years since their childhood, but only by a little bit. At the rate Chanyeol was moving with the ox, tilting the land over, he’d be finished by the time the sun was scheduled to begin setting. That only meant that Baekhyun had to pick up his pace if he wanted to finish at least two of the rectangular plots, leaving the three others for tomorrow. Maybe he could even finish a third if he was faster than usual.
Despite trying his best to remain focused and use the physical labor as a way of distracting himself, Chanyeol’s words kept coming back to him.
Move in with me…
Looking away from Chanyeol, Baekhyun stared at the muddy waters at his feet. He had to keep working, but at the same time, he didn’t want to move, feeling trapped by complicated emotions stemming from himself that even he didn’t know how to interpret. After a few seconds, he managed to force his body to move down the row, finish the last bunch of seedlings in his hands.
The thought of living in Seoul again wasn’t an idea that he was opposed to, especially when it came to Kyungsoo and his upbringing. It was indisputably better to be settled in the city, and thoughts of moving back weren’t foreign to him either. But it was easier to stay grounded near the village where it felt so safe and familiar.
Baekhyun realized that it might’ve been out of selfishness that he never moved his son and himself to Seoul earlier. The fear of what he had been through repeating itself in a cycle was greater than his need to provide as a parent, and that was a flaw on his part. And although the chances of running into Chanyeol in a city as big as Seoul were slim, Baekhyun was always afraid of the small chance that he’d be seen by Chanyeol on the streets with Kyungsoo in hand.
But it didn’t matter. Chanyeol eventually found out about their son and he wanted to move in together...again.
Huffing, Baekhyun pushed the last seedling his hand beneath the murky water, inserting it in the ground a little harder than he intended. Then, he stood upright for a few moments before turning to the nearest pile of seedlings that were still awaiting burial.
Thoughts about Seoul and the possibility of living together again needed to be pushed away for a later time. He couldn’t waste his time lingering about something that he needed more than just a short afternoon to think through, yet he just...couldn’t. Frustrated, Baekhyun decided to clear his head and take a short break. He walked past the pile of seedlings and got out of the field, walking to the house along a small pathway created by mud packed together.
Once he reached the end, he walked across the gravel-filled yard, stopping just before the front steps to take off his dirty boots. Chanyeol’s father had gone into town to buy more food, leaving the place empty and quiet when Baekhyun stepped inside the kitchen. There were still a few things to unpack from the boxes that they had brought up with them, but he wasn’t in the mood for anything too heavy.
Opting for a drink of water instead, Baekhyun closed the small refrigerator in favor of retrieving a cup from the cupboards. As he was doing so, he heard the front door open followed by footsteps. Glancing over to the side, Baekhyun watched Chanyeol nearing him.
“I saw you running over here. Was wondering what you were up to.” The tired grin on the giant’s face was enough to make Baekhyun look away, focusing his eyes on the wall next to him. “Mind if I grab a drink?”
Shaking his head, Baekhyun moved out of the way. The area wasn’t made for two people, especially with Chanyeol standing next to him. “Cups are on the top left. You should probably wash them before using it.”
“Thanks.”
The house layout was barely existent. It reminded Baekhyun of his own small, humble home, if not smaller. There was no other way to leave Chanyeol’s line of sight unless he wanted to take his drink of water outside, which he had no intention of doing. Deciding to fill the silence with conversation rather than lingering in his own thoughts, Baekhyun turned around, facing in Chanyeol’s direction.
“Did you leave the ox on the field?” He sounded stiff, but that was expected. Baekhyun disliked small talk conversations.
“No, I didn’t. I tied him to the post in the front,” Chanyeol replied before he finished his entire glass within four gulps. Wiping the droplets from the corner of his mouth with his right arm, he smiled when Baekhyun averted his eyes. “Why do you do that?”
“Why do I do what?”
“Keep looking away.”
“I don’t.” It was a typical response. Baekhyun raised his eyes up at his ex before realizing he only did so as if to prove the latter wrong. Feeling like an idiot, he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Maybe you’re just not that interesting to look at.”
Throwing his head back, Chanyeol laughed so hard, he had to put the glass down on the counter to avoid accidentally dropping it on the floor.
“You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not as good looking as I used to be,” he said, trying to control himself. Baekhyun’s blunder (and the red cheeks that followed) was a rare glimpse of the man hiding behind his role as a parent. Chanyeol saw him simply as Byun Baekhyun.
Once the laughter died, Chanyeol gave him a softer look as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “You barely spoke to me when we took a lunch break. If it wasn’t for my father being there, I think you would’ve just ignored me outright, but you looked like you had a lot of things on your mind… Even when you were talking to him.”
Scoffing, Baekhyun rolled his eyes at him as he stepped forward, holding his empty cup to the giant. In turn, Chanyeol took it from him and placed the cup in the sink. “Considering that you asked me to relocate to Seoul a few hours before then? Yes, I did have a lot of things on my mind--and I still do,” he said as his voice lost its momentum towards the end. “I’m working a lot slower than I would want to because of it. I mean, you’re asking a lot from me, Yeol.”
“It is a big decision, but I’m not asking you to decide now,” Chanyeol said, sighing. “We can talk to Kyungsoo about it together--or just by yourself. Whatever you feel is the best way to approach it, I fully support you… I just need to make sure you know that having you both closer to me is something that I want as a father and...co-parent.”
“I know it is…” There was no doubt in Baekhyun’s mind that the man had a right to his own son, yet he still didn’t completely trust certain circumstances regarding their living situations and the effects of Chanyeol’s fame on their life. His past experiences had been a nightmare, but he had to remind himself that he wasn’t the same person he was seven years ago and neither was Chanyeol. “We do agree that Seoul has a better education system, plus with all the museums and cultural exhibits, I think it’d be good for Soo. I’m just not sure about all of us living together. Don’t you think that’s a bit inappropriate?”
“How so?”
Baekhyun couldn’t tell if Chanyeol was playing dumb or if he was genuinely confused by the question. Nonetheless, he chose to give him the benefit of doubt. “Having Kyungsoo live with you is understandable, but why would you want me there? We’re not… you know, together. If you have paparazzi following you, they’ll wonder what I’m doing there.”
Chanyeol shrugged. “So, let them wonder.”
Frowning, Baekhyun’s shoulders dropped. “You don’t think they’ll recognize me as your boyfriend seven years ago and start wondering why I’m living at your condo? With a child? They’ll have a field day with those headlines. It might be more trouble than it’s worth to you--”
“Baek,” Chanyeol interrupted in a calm, yet soft voice. “I...honestly don’t care what they have to say about you or Soo, and if what they’re writing has any affect on him, then I’ll have my publicist and manager on it. I’ll go to court if I have to… I’m being serious.”
“I don’t know, Chanyeol--”
“When I mentioned the idea to Soo earlier, he seemed excited.”
The mention of the young boy being ecstatic and happy was enough for Baekhyun to draw himself back to gather his emotions. Maybe he was being too much of a helicopter parent by the way he was acting, even if the fear he had was coming from a place of good intent. Biting his bottom lip, Baekhyun glanced off to the side. “He’s only six. The most he knows about Seoul is what he learns from listening to the radio,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how prepared he’ll be to live in that type of environment… You’re not exactly a normal father.”
“What do you mean?”
Snorting, Baekhyun cocked his head. “Not everyone’s father is a best-selling recording artist. I don’t think he understands the consequences of that. He probably thinks it’s cool and fun that you make music for a living and that he can hear you on the radio every now and again, but he’s just a child. I can protect him here, in the village, because it’s easy--it’s what I know... But Seoul’s nothing like what he’s used to and I don’t know if I’ll even know how to protect him there.”
“I know…but that’s what I’m here for.” Grinning, Chanyeol pushed himself away from the counter and began to walk past the brunet before he startled him by lightly touching him by the waist. “Come on. Break time’s over. I saw you falling behind on your end when I finished the last plot, so I’ll help out a bit.”
Baekhyun was speechless for a few seconds before catching his voice. “No, that’s-- You’re right. We’ve spent long enough in here just...rambling. But, I’m okay. I’ll be able to finish everything if I just pick up the pace--”
“Would it kill you to accept my help every once in a while?”
“No, of course not,” the brunet defended. “But…”
“But what?”
“I’m...” Baekhyun stopped. Then he sighed, dropping his shoulders. “It’s just hard, alright? I’m not used to...accepting help. I’ve been raising a kid for six years by myself. Give me some time to get used to this whole co-parenting thing.”
Chanyeol had an understanding expression as he let go of Baekhyun’s waist. Raising his hand, he moved a stray strand of hair from the brunet’s forehead. “And I know jack shit about being a father, but I mean, we can work on that together.”
“Yes, but I still don’t know if living together is something we should be doing.” Baekhyun was apprehensive for valid reasons beyond just paparazzi and the media speculations. “Seoul? Yes, maybe. I can see that, but the latter sounds a bit much.”
The silence set in for a few seconds as Chanyeol reevaluated the situation. It had crossed his mind that it might have been seen as unexpected to offer that particular living arrangement, but he wanted to give it a shot for all of them. Yet, at the same time, he could see the doubt written all over Baekhyun’s face. He knew that Baekhyun’s protective nature would be uneasy toward the (extremely) idealistic scenario, but he had hoped that assurance would be enough to sway him--as stupid as that was to even consider.
Creating a bit of space between them, Chanyeol stepped back with his eyes keeping steady contact with the man in front of him. His options were limited and with excuses wearing thin, he took in a deep breath and exhaled. “Okay, then… How about this,” he slowly began, choosing his words carefully. “Spend the holidays with me.”
“What?”
“I want to spend Christmas with both of you. It’ll be my first Christmas with Soo and we’ll be able to have that time together.” Chanyeol could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Asking Baekhyun to be a part of his life again--even in the slightest way--was terrifying. The possibility of rejection was real. “I have to go back this weekend… I’m not expecting you two to just pack up and leave with me, but in about a month, I’d really love it if both of you came to visit for about a week or two. I can show you that living in Seoul with me isn’t as bad as you might think it is. Besides, I can learn a few things from you about parenting. It might be really good for Soo to see us as a family unit, too. We can buy him presents and do that entire tree thing. All of us can even decorate cookies together--”
Baekhyun stared at him without saying a word for a short moment before he spoke in a softened tone. “You’re really that serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“But why do you want me there? I could drop Kyungsoo off and return back to the village without having to--”
“Because you matter to me, too.”
Sighing, Baekhyun shook his head. The smile on his face was bittersweet. “Listen, I know we have a son together, but you shouldn’t feel like I have to be in the picture. What matters most is for you to bond with your son and--”
“Do you really have to be this dense, Baek? It’s cute sometimes, but honestly, it gets a little unbelievable sometimes,” Chanyeol said, interrupting the brunet. “I don’t want you around because I want to play house… I want you around because I miss having you around with me. If I’m being honest here, I miss you, and I’d sure as hell miss you even more if I have to spend Christmas by myself.”
“You don’t mean that..”
“Yes, I do,” the giant insisted. “I’m not using Kyungsoo as an excuse to see you during the holidays, but I mean…”
Baekhyun rolled his eyes, snorting. “Your logic.”
Half-heartedly shrugging, Chanyeol grinned. “If it works, it works.”
Running a hand through his hair, Baekhyun took a few seconds to let Chanyeol's words sink in. Despite the thousands of worries running across his mind, he knew he had to learn how to trust Chanyeol again and that there would be no other way to do so unless he gave the man a chance to prove himself. Aside from it all, the idea of spending Christmas together was tempting, especially knowing how happy the six year old would be to have a Christmas that differed from their usual celebrations with Baekhyun’s parents.
The idea of moving in together seemed too big of a decision to finalize without giving it a few weeks, even months, to think through, and Chanyeol’s perplexing confession--if it could be counted as such-- was another thing that Baekhyun needed more time to figure out, but spending the holidays in Seoul for two weeks, at most, made sense to him. Although he knew there would be risks like the possible media attention or worse, developing an idealistic picture of them being a permanent family unit, he decided to give it a chance… And if things go well, maybe he’d consider the other options.
“Fine.”
“Fine…?”
“Soo and I will come and see you in Seoul for Christmas and New Years,” Baekhyun finally said before sternly adding, “Don’t make me regret this, okay?”
The surprised look on Chanyeol’s face didn’t go unnoticed, but the expression didn’t stay for long as his lips soon broke into a smile. “I promise you, I won’t.”
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a/n: we can finally close this part 1 of the book, now onwards to part 2!!! :D
Chapter 11: Chances
When Chanyeol woke up, the small house was still surrounded by darkness. Daylight was still on the verge of breaking through the horizon, but when he rolled over and peaked in Baekhyun’s direction, he realized that the man beside him had already rolled up his futon, clearing out his side of the area. Plopping back on his side, Chanyeol closed his eyes, wondering if he should try and go back to sleep or pull himself together and start his day.
After a few minutes had passed, it was the sound of a distant bell slowly etching closer and closer to the house that caught his curiosity enough to sit upright and decide on the latter.
Once the bedding was quietly put away and realizing that his father was still asleep in the separate room, Chanyeol made light footsteps towards to door and slipped on the thick boots they had brought with them.
The moment he stepped out of the house, he was hit by the morning air, chilly and slightly uncomfortable. It didn’t take long or much investigation to figure out where the sound of bells was originating from. Down the only pathway that led up to the small house, he could see Baekhyun slowly leading a black ox by a rope tied around its neck where a bell hung, making noise with every step the giant animal took.
Chanyeol decided to walk closer, meeting the brunet just as he was approaching the house. The animal didn’t seem to mind the new stranger, and Baekhyun looked almost indifferent which was more or less the reaction that Chanyeol had expected despite the fact that he was slightly hoping it would be otherwise. “Morning,” he said, smiling.
Noticing the grogginess in the man’s demeanor, Baekhyun nodded, wondering if any recollection from the night before had stuck. “Didn’t think you’d be able to wake up this early.”
“I almost didn’t,” Chanyeol replied honestly. Glancing over, he watched the ox as it swayed side to side. “I would’ve gone with you to get this thing if you had woken me up.”
“You looked like you were enjoying your sleep, so I just left you alone.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
Chanyeol ignored the way Baekhyun was quick to turn his eyes in his direction. “Don’t you have a hangover from last night?”
Pursing his lips, Baekhyun shook his head. “Not really.”
“Not really?” Raising a brow, Chanyeol chuckled. “I wish I recovered from hangovers like you. Got any secrets to share?”
“Yes. It’s called having responsibilities the next morning.”
Stopping in his tracks, Chanyeol crossed his arms together in an attempt to appear wounded and upset, though the farce was quite obvious. “What’re you trying to say, Byun Baek?”
Baekhyun rolled his eyes, trying to withhold himself from laughing at the latter’s child-like behavior. Kyungsoo rarely threw tantrums, but when he was visibly upset, his pout resembled that of Chanyeol’s by a little bit. “What do you think I’m trying to say, Mr. Park?”
“Something that’s not very nice.” Chanyeol put a hand on his chest, acting offended. “Ouch… I think you should apologize.”
“Why? I thought it was a good come back,” Baekhyun said with a brief shrug as he continued walking, leaving the latter to follower after him. “It was funny.”
“It’s not cute to toot your own horn, Baek.”
“Didn’t say I was trying to be cute.”
“You’re right. You don’t have to try.”
Chanyeol laughed at the look of surprise on Baekhyun’s face, but the grin on his face remained afterwards. The playfulness of the conversation was refreshing. “You know, without Kyungsoo around, you talk differently around me.”
Softly chuckling, Baekhyun smiled up at the giant. “I used to call it the ‘Adult Pacifier’ effect because you really have to watch what you say and do in front of kids. They pick things up pretty quickly. You’d be surprised!”
It wasn’t until then that Chanyeol realized it was something he missed seeing. For a second, he found himself stalling, lost in thought before looking off at the house when it registered in his mind that Baekhyun was staring at him, as if confused by the expression on his face.
“Knowing how smart Kyungsoo is,” Chanyeol started, clearing his throat in the process, “I can see why you’d need to watch what you say around him..”
Arriving at the front of the house, Chanyeol turned and watched as Baekhyun led the ox to a nearby wooden post, looping the rope around it until it was secured by a simple knot. It brought his attention back to the animal as he questioned its purpose. Chanyeol knew that they needed it in order to overturn the thick, muddy rice fields and plow through the ground, but using an ox seemed inefficient.
“Have you two always used an ox?”
“Yes. Why?” Baekhyun retorted, looking back at him. “Do you need me to teach you how to use the plow using animal power? You might’ve forgotten how to by now--”
Waving a hand, Chanyeol interrupted him midway. “I still remember. What I mean is, why hasn’t he bought a mechanical one? I send them money every month. I was half expecting them to invest it back into upgrading some decent farming equipment.”
Baekhyun thought about the question before deciding the matter wasn’t up for him to decide. “You should ask your father. I don’t really know anything about their finances or the farming business,” he admitted. “If you want better machinery, then we’ll have to figure it out later because you need to start turning over the field today.”
“I must’ve missed the part where I volunteered to be the ox caretaker.”
Putting a hand to his hip, Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a tired look as he sighed. “I’m being serious, Yeol,” he said. “I know you’re kidding, but all jokes aside, we have to get the field overturned before the sun makes it too hot. Otherwise, you’re probably going to pass out.”
The weary tone in Baekhyun’s voice was enough to straighten Chanyeol’s attitude. Nodding, the giant took one look at the ox before meeting the smaller male’s gaze again. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to--”
Baekhyun stopped him. “It’s okay. I just want to make it clear that we’re only here for a few days and your father’s land isn’t that big. It’s just best to remain coordinated if we want to get it done on time. If we have any delays, we might have to stay another day, but that cuts into your vacation time and adds more burden for your mother who’d be stuck babysitting Kyungsoo.”
The mention of their son being at home with his grandmother made Chanyeol smile, which came as a surprise to the brunet. “If I didn’t know my mother any better, I’d say that she’s actually at home praying that something goes wrong just so she can spend more time with him.”
“And knowing Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun started, crossing his arms as he walked toward the father of his son, “I’d say that he’s praying that we finish early. I did promise him that the three of us would spend some time together before you go back to Seoul. The excitement is probably going to keep him up for the next few days.”
“Right… About that-- Seoul, I mean.”
Baekhyun could see where the conversation was heading and decided to cut it short the best way he knew how. “I already know you told him that he could live with you,” he said, pursing his lips together. “We can discuss the terms of custody later tonight if--”
“Baekhyun, I don’t want to discuss custody.”
Confused, Baekhyun furrowed his brows together and frowned. Thoughts ran across his mind at the speed of bullets, yet none of them felt right as to what Chanyeol’s intentions were. Not even the expression on his face could give away a single hint.
“We need to talk about us.”
Baekhyun stared at him with a contorted, confused expression. His lips parted, yet the hesitation stopped him from immediately responding. Realizing how close they actually were in proximity to one another, Baekhyun took one step back and dropped his arms to his sides. “Us...?” he said, his voice lower than it was before. “If you want to talk about parenting styles, then that’s fine. But not right now--”
Chanyeol shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
His gaze dropped to the ground for a few seconds before he looked back up. He hadn’t taken the time to fully realize the sun was beginning to peak from the horizon until he saw the warm early morning tones wash over the brunet whose eyes seemed to glisten in the light.
When he finally snapped out of his daze and responded moments after, the playful air that had surrounded Chanyeol before was gone. “I want you and Kyungsoo to live with me in Seoul.”
“What?” Baekhyun was in disbelief.
“There are better schools for him in the city--private ones,” Chanyeol continued, disregarding the look Baekhyun gave him. “There are after-school programs and activities for kids his age to do. Museums, parks, libraries… Even pediatric care and hospitals if he ever needs them. It’s all there.”
“Chanyeol--”
“And… if you’re there with me, Kyungsoo doesn’t have to spend any time traveling between us.”
Pressing his lips together, Baekhyun tried his best to level his breathing. With his heart racing, it was an effort with little effect. “So you want to put the two of us in a nearby condo to make visiting easier.”
“No.” There was a short pause of silence. “I want you to move in with me.”
The sound of the front door being pushed open surprised both of them as they turned their heads to see Chanyeol’s father slowly walking down the steps. Pressing his lips together, Baekhyun took two large steps back, away from the giant, before smiling at the older man and greeting him.
Chanyeol stayed in place for a few seconds, replaying the expression of shock and loss written on Baekhyun’s face the moment he mentioned Seoul… Then, followed in the brunet’s suit and greeted his father as though their exchange hadn’t happened.
-
-
Pulling back his hat, Baekhyun wiped the sweat off his forehead with an arm as he stretched his back. It was beginning to ache from having spent hours bent over, placing the small rice seedlings in the ground. Looking over his shoulder, he peered at Chanyeol who hadn’t complained much since starting the day.
The Park’s plot of land wasn’t very large. It had expanded over the years since their childhood, but only by a little bit. At the rate Chanyeol was moving with the ox, tilting the land over, he’d be finished by the time the sun was scheduled to begin setting. That only meant that Baekhyun had to pick up his pace if he wanted to finish at least two of the rectangular plots, leaving the three others for tomorrow. Maybe he could even finish a third if he was faster than usual.
Despite trying his best to remain focused and use the physical labor as a way of distracting himself, Chanyeol’s words kept coming back to him.
Move in with me…
Looking away from Chanyeol, Baekhyun stared at the muddy waters at his feet. He had to keep working, but at the same time, he didn’t want to move, feeling trapped by complicated emotions stemming from himself that even he didn’t know how to interpret. After a few seconds, he managed to force his body to move down the row, finish the last bunch of seedlings in his hands.
The thought of living in Seoul again wasn’t an idea that he was opposed to, especially when it came to Kyungsoo and his upbringing. It was indisputably better to be settled in the city, and thoughts of moving back weren’t foreign to him either. But it was easier to stay grounded near the village where it felt so safe and familiar.
Baekhyun realized that it might’ve been out of selfishness that he never moved his son and himself to Seoul earlier. The fear of what he had been through repeating itself in a cycle was greater than his need to provide as a parent, and that was a flaw on his part. And although the chances of running into Chanyeol in a city as big as Seoul were slim, Baekhyun was always afraid of the small chance that he’d be seen by Chanyeol on the streets with Kyungsoo in hand.
But it didn’t matter. Chanyeol eventually found out about their son and he wanted to move in together...again.
Huffing, Baekhyun pushed the last seedling his hand beneath the murky water, inserting it in the ground a little harder than he intended. Then, he stood upright for a few moments before turning to the nearest pile of seedlings that were still awaiting burial.
Thoughts about Seoul and the possibility of living together again needed to be pushed away for a later time. He couldn’t waste his time lingering about something that he needed more than just a short afternoon to think through, yet he just...couldn’t. Frustrated, Baekhyun decided to clear his head and take a short break. He walked past the pile of seedlings and got out of the field, walking to the house along a small pathway created by mud packed together.
Once he reached the end, he walked across the gravel-filled yard, stopping just before the front steps to take off his dirty boots. Chanyeol’s father had gone into town to buy more food, leaving the place empty and quiet when Baekhyun stepped inside the kitchen. There were still a few things to unpack from the boxes that they had brought up with them, but he wasn’t in the mood for anything too heavy.
Opting for a drink of water instead, Baekhyun closed the small refrigerator in favor of retrieving a cup from the cupboards. As he was doing so, he heard the front door open followed by footsteps. Glancing over to the side, Baekhyun watched Chanyeol nearing him.
“I saw you running over here. Was wondering what you were up to.” The tired grin on the giant’s face was enough to make Baekhyun look away, focusing his eyes on the wall next to him. “Mind if I grab a drink?”
Shaking his head, Baekhyun moved out of the way. The area wasn’t made for two people, especially with Chanyeol standing next to him. “Cups are on the top left. You should probably wash them before using it.”
“Thanks.”
The house layout was barely existent. It reminded Baekhyun of his own small, humble home, if not smaller. There was no other way to leave Chanyeol’s line of sight unless he wanted to take his drink of water outside, which he had no intention of doing. Deciding to fill the silence with conversation rather than lingering in his own thoughts, Baekhyun turned around, facing in Chanyeol’s direction.
“Did you leave the ox on the field?” He sounded stiff, but that was expected. Baekhyun disliked small talk conversations.
“No, I didn’t. I tied him to the post in the front,” Chanyeol replied before he finished his entire glass within four gulps. Wiping the droplets from the corner of his mouth with his right arm, he smiled when Baekhyun averted his eyes. “Why do you do that?”
“Why do I do what?”
“Keep looking away.”
“I don’t.” It was a typical response. Baekhyun raised his eyes up at his ex before realizing he only did so as if to prove the latter wrong. Feeling like an idiot, he could feel the heat rising to his cheeks. “Maybe you’re just not that interesting to look at.”
Throwing his head back, Chanyeol laughed so hard, he had to put the glass down on the counter to avoid accidentally dropping it on the floor.
“You know what? Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m not as good looking as I used to be,” he said, trying to control himself. Baekhyun’s blunder (and the red cheeks that followed) was a rare glimpse of the man hiding behind his role as a parent. Chanyeol saw him simply as Byun Baekhyun.
Once the laughter died, Chanyeol gave him a softer look as he crossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter. “You barely spoke to me when we took a lunch break. If it wasn’t for my father being there, I think you would’ve just ignored me outright, but you looked like you had a lot of things on your mind… Even when you were talking to him.”
Scoffing, Baekhyun rolled his eyes at him as he stepped forward, holding his empty cup to the giant. In turn, Chanyeol took it from him and placed the cup in the sink. “Considering that you asked me to relocate to Seoul a few hours before then? Yes, I did have a lot of things on my mind--and I still do,” he said as his voice lost its momentum towards the end. “I’m working a lot slower than I would want to because of it. I mean, you’re asking a lot from me, Yeol.”
“It is a big decision, but I’m not asking you to decide now,” Chanyeol said, sighing. “We can talk to Kyungsoo about it together--or just by yourself. Whatever you feel is the best way to approach it, I fully support you… I just need to make sure you know that having you both closer to me is something that I want as a father and...co-parent.”
“I know it is…” There was no doubt in Baekhyun’s mind that the man had a right to his own son, yet he still didn’t completely trust certain circumstances regarding their living situations and the effects of Chanyeol’s fame on their life. His past experiences had been a nightmare, but he had to remind himself that he wasn’t the same person he was seven years ago and neither was Chanyeol. “We do agree that Seoul has a better education system, plus with all the museums and cultural exhibits, I think it’d be good for Soo. I’m just not sure about all of us living together. Don’t you think that’s a bit inappropriate?”
“How so?”
Baekhyun couldn’t tell if Chanyeol was playing dumb or if he was genuinely confused by the question. Nonetheless, he chose to give him the benefit of doubt. “Having Kyungsoo live with you is understandable, but why would you want me there? We’re not… you know, together. If you have paparazzi following you, they’ll wonder what I’m doing there.”
Chanyeol shrugged. “So, let them wonder.”
Frowning, Baekhyun’s shoulders dropped. “You don’t think they’ll recognize me as your boyfriend seven years ago and start wondering why I’m living at your condo? With a child? They’ll have a field day with those headlines. It might be more trouble than it’s worth to you--”
“Baek,” Chanyeol interrupted in a calm, yet soft voice. “I...honestly don’t care what they have to say about you or Soo, and if what they’re writing has any affect on him, then I’ll have my publicist and manager on it. I’ll go to court if I have to… I’m being serious.”
“I don’t know, Chanyeol--”
“When I mentioned the idea to Soo earlier, he seemed excited.”
The mention of the young boy being ecstatic and happy was enough for Baekhyun to draw himself back to gather his emotions. Maybe he was being too much of a helicopter parent by the way he was acting, even if the fear he had was coming from a place of good intent. Biting his bottom lip, Baekhyun glanced off to the side. “He’s only six. The most he knows about Seoul is what he learns from listening to the radio,” he said quietly. “I don’t know how prepared he’ll be to live in that type of environment… You’re not exactly a normal father.”
“What do you mean?”
Snorting, Baekhyun cocked his head. “Not everyone’s father is a best-selling recording artist. I don’t think he understands the consequences of that. He probably thinks it’s cool and fun that you make music for a living and that he can hear you on the radio every now and again, but he’s just a child. I can protect him here, in the village, because it’s easy--it’s what I know... But Seoul’s nothing like what he’s used to and I don’t know if I’ll even know how to protect him there.”
“I know…but that’s what I’m here for.” Grinning, Chanyeol pushed himself away from the counter and began to walk past the brunet before he startled him by lightly touching him by the waist. “Come on. Break time’s over. I saw you falling behind on your end when I finished the last plot, so I’ll help out a bit.”
Baekhyun was speechless for a few seconds before catching his voice. “No, that’s-- You’re right. We’ve spent long enough in here just...rambling. But, I’m okay. I’ll be able to finish everything if I just pick up the pace--”
“Would it kill you to accept my help every once in a while?”
“No, of course not,” the brunet defended. “But…”
“But what?”
“I’m...” Baekhyun stopped. Then he sighed, dropping his shoulders. “It’s just hard, alright? I’m not used to...accepting help. I’ve been raising a kid for six years by myself. Give me some time to get used to this whole co-parenting thing.”
Chanyeol had an understanding expression as he let go of Baekhyun’s waist. Raising his hand, he moved a stray strand of hair from the brunet’s forehead. “And I know jack shit about being a father, but I mean, we can work on that together.”
“Yes, but I still don’t know if living together is something we should be doing.” Baekhyun was apprehensive for valid reasons beyond just paparazzi and the media speculations. “Seoul? Yes, maybe. I can see that, but the latter sounds a bit much.”
The silence set in for a few seconds as Chanyeol reevaluated the situation. It had crossed his mind that it might have been seen as unexpected to offer that particular living arrangement, but he wanted to give it a shot for all of them. Yet, at the same time, he could see the doubt written all over Baekhyun’s face. He knew that Baekhyun’s protective nature would be uneasy toward the (extremely) idealistic scenario, but he had hoped that assurance would be enough to sway him--as stupid as that was to even consider.
Creating a bit of space between them, Chanyeol stepped back with his eyes keeping steady contact with the man in front of him. His options were limited and with excuses wearing thin, he took in a deep breath and exhaled. “Okay, then… How about this,” he slowly began, choosing his words carefully. “Spend the holidays with me.”
“What?”
“I want to spend Christmas with both of you. It’ll be my first Christmas with Soo and we’ll be able to have that time together.” Chanyeol could feel his heart pounding against his chest. Asking Baekhyun to be a part of his life again--even in the slightest way--was terrifying. The possibility of rejection was real. “I have to go back this weekend… I’m not expecting you two to just pack up and leave with me, but in about a month, I’d really love it if both of you came to visit for about a week or two. I can show you that living in Seoul with me isn’t as bad as you might think it is. Besides, I can learn a few things from you about parenting. It might be really good for Soo to see us as a family unit, too. We can buy him presents and do that entire tree thing. All of us can even decorate cookies together--”
Baekhyun stared at him without saying a word for a short moment before he spoke in a softened tone. “You’re really that serious about this, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.”
“But why do you want me there? I could drop Kyungsoo off and return back to the village without having to--”
“Because you matter to me, too.”
Sighing, Baekhyun shook his head. The smile on his face was bittersweet. “Listen, I know we have a son together, but you shouldn’t feel like I have to be in the picture. What matters most is for you to bond with your son and--”
“Do you really have to be this dense, Baek? It’s cute sometimes, but honestly, it gets a little unbelievable sometimes,” Chanyeol said, interrupting the brunet. “I don’t want you around because I want to play house… I want you around because I miss having you around with me. If I’m being honest here, I miss you, and I’d sure as hell miss you even more if I have to spend Christmas by myself.”
“You don’t mean that..”
“Yes, I do,” the giant insisted. “I’m not using Kyungsoo as an excuse to see you during the holidays, but I mean…”
Baekhyun rolled his eyes, snorting. “Your logic.”
Half-heartedly shrugging, Chanyeol grinned. “If it works, it works.”
Running a hand through his hair, Baekhyun took a few seconds to let Chanyeol's words sink in. Despite the thousands of worries running across his mind, he knew he had to learn how to trust Chanyeol again and that there would be no other way to do so unless he gave the man a chance to prove himself. Aside from it all, the idea of spending Christmas together was tempting, especially knowing how happy the six year old would be to have a Christmas that differed from their usual celebrations with Baekhyun’s parents.
The idea of moving in together seemed too big of a decision to finalize without giving it a few weeks, even months, to think through, and Chanyeol’s perplexing confession--if it could be counted as such-- was another thing that Baekhyun needed more time to figure out, but spending the holidays in Seoul for two weeks, at most, made sense to him. Although he knew there would be risks like the possible media attention or worse, developing an idealistic picture of them being a permanent family unit, he decided to give it a chance… And if things go well, maybe he’d consider the other options.
“Fine.”
“Fine…?”
“Soo and I will come and see you in Seoul for Christmas and New Years,” Baekhyun finally said before sternly adding, “Don’t make me regret this, okay?”
The surprised look on Chanyeol’s face didn’t go unnoticed, but the expression didn’t stay for long as his lips soon broke into a smile. “I promise you, I won’t.”
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a/n: we can finally close this part 1 of the book, now onwards to part 2!!! :D