Dear Stephanie Olivera
I hate this bitch
( My girl, Steph: if you're reading this because you were googling your name up one day and found yourself confused about who the fucking hell is writing about you?????????? Hi, I'm Fara. I WAS Charles' girlfriend until your ass came along
Your twin is facebook friends with my old friend from High School who goes to school in a college in Oregon. Small world right???? Ask your sis if she knows Emily M. Then maybe your sis can ask them who I am in case you need some further information about me, myself, and i. )
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To my dearest readers:
I decided a while ago that I wouldn't talk about another person in this way, but for the first time in a long time, I'm going to be revert back to the habits that has earned me alot of criticism and haters through this years, and it's my vulgarity. It's not classy, but when your entire body is just full of messy emotions and you just hate someone with a burning passion, i'm that bitch who doesn't want to spare any words.
Also, i can't tell you all to not judge, but just know that any judgement you make i consider invalid due to the fact that no one knows us personally... no one has witness our relationship 24/7 for the last year and 4 months. Not even that bitch stephanie.
SO... With that being said, feel free to be amused. I wrote this as a hypothetical letter because Charles begged me not to find this bitch on facebook and hit her up and make her feel terrible (bc he's willing to take 100% of the blame), but at the end of the day, she was willingly involved and therefore, I don't give a fuck about her feelings and I hope she gets what she deserves and what I think she deserves and everything in between because even before I dated Charles, even before all of this, for those of you who've been around long enough... You just know that i'm that BITCH to begin with so let's just fucking get started.
I did question whether it would be psychotic to write this... I thought yes... Maybe a little bit. But in all fairness, I told him to be nice to her when he broke it off. I did feel momentarily sorry for her when I heard she cried. But that was me 1-2 days after it happened. Now, on June 26, 2017, I'm unbottling all the anger that wasn't there in the beginning, because it's been building up and bitch, I have something to say about some of the shit Stephanie sent so buckle the fuck up buttercups
- yours truly,
fara.
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I don't like holding grudges. I don't even hold grudges against the people who HATE me with a burning passion; I literally could NOT care. But I hate Stephanie Olivera. You literally ruined everything. Had you not thought your bitch ass had a chance to begin with and had you not taken advantage of our strained relationship as a couple and taken advantage of my EX-boyfriend's emotional state at the time, then maybe things wouldn't be this way. I lost him to you; I lost him to guilt; I lost him because of what you created. You're not 100% at fault, but had you fucking NOT DONE ANYTHING.... maybe I'd still have him.
So it's unfair that you got a boyfriend a week after he broke it off with you. Even after all that bullshit you sent him about how he made you feel what true love was or you thought you were soulmates... SOULMATES???????????? LMAOOOOOO i'm so FUCKING offended and i also want to laugh so hard in your face for ever thinking you two were that CLOSE to begin with. Compared to me and what we were before you, you were nothing. You ARE nothing.
I hope your new boyfriend cheats on you with an uglier bitch so you'll understand. I hope he cheats on you with some bitch who knows he has a girlfriend but doesn't think twice about it because she thinks he'll leave you for her. I hope your relationship falls apart like mine did because the guilt is eating him up and YOUR insecurities are eating YOU up because that's what happened to me and I would sell my soul to a higher being if it meant that you'll experience the amount of pain I've had since it happened.
I don't know how things are done in Oregon but I'll play and I'll act like a California girl
I am left with the mess you two created and I am left without him because of what you started. Unlike you, I know him enough to know that your stupid 2 days behind my back was a mistake in his character. It was not him, but I knew and I KNOW that he hasn't been in a good place in a while and that our relationship was already straining at that point because we were both so busy... I acknowledge what he did to me, and I accept that it happened, but I have loved him through good and bad my entire freshman year since the day I met him, had a crush on him, and eventually began dating in February right before Valentine's day and when I went off to my first KPOP concert and came back to go to the freshman dance with him. I loved him through the time when he lost himself when he decided to give up on his major and he loved me through all of my personal failures. You want to write about what it feels like to have him as a soulmate? You can't even begin to list anything significant, because you weren't there for his worst moments and your existence is only a fading millisecond in our lives, and yet you had such an impact that we lost everything.
You were a catalyst, despite everything you might think or he might'v told you to comfort you. And I hate you and I'll always hate you and I'll die remembering how stupid and ignorant and foolish you are, but most importantly, you're just some bitch who tore it all apart.
I can't hate him for what he did. It disappointed me because it was the least that I expected from him, but you'll never understand why I don't hate him. But lemme tell you why anyways... It's because I know what it actually feels like to feel like he's my soulmate. Because despite all the hurt and the betrayal I felt, I know where his heart is, I know who he truly is as a person, and I know how badly his guilt is eating him alive... And therefore, I can't hate him because how can you hate someone whose place in your heart is filled with nothing but love? There's no room in my heart to hate him and I never will.
But you're an empty shell of a person. I know your name and I know your face, and I don't care enough to know you as a person.
I don't feel any guilt hating you or wanting the shittiest things to happen to you. He told me that you used to ride your bike home from school before he started giving you car rides home because he dropped off all of his computer science friends. And I said, "Well, I hope the next time [you] ride your bike home at night, [you] get hit with a car".
How petty is it of me to want you gone? Normally, I would say extremely. You being gone wouldn't rewrite the past or undo the shit you did, but I don't care. Would it make me feel better? Eh. But when I found out, it felt like I was hit with a truck out of nowhere, and now I'm just dead without realizing I died a long time ago.
Did you know that the monday when your lips touched his, I was actually trying to better our relationship? BEcause I knew how fucking shitty the quarter had been for us???? Because I knew we were having issues and I wanted to make it better again?? That I was texting him and doing more to show him that I cared? But the irony is that I was trying to save something that was already fucking dead and I didn't even know it. So that hurts like a fucking BITCH.
Also, I couldn't focus on studying for my Physics and bio final. Why? I found out the day before those two finals so guess who did fucking poorly?
You texted him asking if you shouldve been more "fucking considerate"
Answer: YES FUCKING BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB BITCH YES BITCH WHAT THE FUCK BITCH YES BITCH U KNEW HE HAD A GF YOU JUST WANTED TO IGNORE IT AND THINK OH MAYBE HE'LL LEAVE HER---- OR WAIT BITCH-- LMAO MAYBE YOU KNEW AND JUST HOPED THAT IT WAS ALREADY OVER AND DONE WITH.
anyways.
I thought of a million ways to ruin you, but out of respect for him, I won't do anything, so don't think that this post is a threat if you're ever reading this. If anyone like your sis or your closest closest bestfriend tries to comfort you saying its not your fault, you had nothing to do with it, blah fucking blah: shut up. You were a big part of it. You can't deny your role in initiating it. You can't deny your role in ANY part of it. So fuck your friends, fuck your sis, fuck anybody that tells you otherwise. 3 people were involved: You, him, and I, so what I say matters more than the opinion of those who don't know jack shit.
Like I said, you're not 100% at fault but bitch you started it. You got feelings from whatever the fuck he was doing. Thought he was flirting with you by being friendly? LMAO anyways, can I judge you for mistaking his friendliness with flirtation? You're his soulmate right? Shouldn't you know the difference ? Wait, you fucking don't. Did you live with him last year in the dorms? No, I did. Did you see him interact with other girls he was close with? No, bitch you didn't. Guess how much you know your so called soulmate. Not a lot. You don't know anything Bc you're just some stupid bitch who caught feelings for some guy who had no interest at all in you but was in a bad emotional state. Congrats, bitch. Try again.
I've already had conversations upon conversations with him after I found out. So don't think that I'm not blaming him or myself. But this post is dedicated to you, you fucking home wrecker bitch. I don't believe you thought he didn't have a girlfriend. That's just some stupid bullshit. I hope you cried long and fucking hard the day he told you about me. I wonder if you cried because you were surprised he had a girlfriend or you cried because he didn't fucking choose to be with your crooked ass. But anyways, boo hoo you right? You cried for a day, maybe two. Have you cried for 2 weeks straight? Have you gone thru the day pretending that you're happy but then mentally break down every fucking night? Do you close your eyes and see ME because that how I am towards your fucking face and I can't FUCKING SLEEP WITHOUT THOSE PICTURES IN MY FUCKING MIND BITCH.
How dare you kiss him in his room. In his car. How fucking dare you use his windbreaker in that photo of you sitting at the Death Star. You don't know how badly I wanted to jump in that photo and fucking PUSH YOU OVER THE LEDGE YOU WERE SITTING ON.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. You ruined everything for me. I can't look at his car anymore without remembering your fucking face. I can't look at his windbreaker without your fucking face coming up. And bitch GUESS WHAT???? That was MY favorite windbreaker to wear, and my favorite thing for him to wear. Just the thought of you in it makes me want to fucking explode, because WHO. THE FUCK. ARE YOU.
Anyways, you're probably over it. You've moved on, guilt free blah blah blah sucking new dick and sucking a new fucking face. You have no guilt whatsoever Bc he said to blame him 100% but look in the fucking mirror and tell yourself that you weren't the one who started everything and you're the one who took advantage of him when he only came to you as a fucking friend.
Have fun with your new boyfriend. Hope it lasts long enough that when he breaks up with you over a stupid fucking girl it'll hurt you just as bad and you won't need me to jump in the picture to push you over the edge ^^ because you'll do it to yourself just fine.
- sincerely
And from the bottom of my cold dead fucking heart,
Fuck you
I wish you the absolute worst
And hope to never see me on campus,
Fara
Ps: don't comment to tell me how I should feel or I should calm down Bc I won't, that's not me, and it doesn't fucking matter
( My girl, Steph: if you're reading this because you were googling your name up one day and found yourself confused about who the fucking hell is writing about you?????????? Hi, I'm Fara. I WAS Charles' girlfriend until your ass came along
Your twin is facebook friends with my old friend from High School who goes to school in a college in Oregon. Small world right???? Ask your sis if she knows Emily M. Then maybe your sis can ask them who I am in case you need some further information about me, myself, and i. )
---------
To my dearest readers:
I decided a while ago that I wouldn't talk about another person in this way, but for the first time in a long time, I'm going to be revert back to the habits that has earned me alot of criticism and haters through this years, and it's my vulgarity. It's not classy, but when your entire body is just full of messy emotions and you just hate someone with a burning passion, i'm that bitch who doesn't want to spare any words.
Also, i can't tell you all to not judge, but just know that any judgement you make i consider invalid due to the fact that no one knows us personally... no one has witness our relationship 24/7 for the last year and 4 months. Not even that bitch stephanie.
SO... With that being said, feel free to be amused. I wrote this as a hypothetical letter because Charles begged me not to find this bitch on facebook and hit her up and make her feel terrible (bc he's willing to take 100% of the blame), but at the end of the day, she was willingly involved and therefore, I don't give a fuck about her feelings and I hope she gets what she deserves and what I think she deserves and everything in between because even before I dated Charles, even before all of this, for those of you who've been around long enough... You just know that i'm that BITCH to begin with so let's just fucking get started.
I did question whether it would be psychotic to write this... I thought yes... Maybe a little bit. But in all fairness, I told him to be nice to her when he broke it off. I did feel momentarily sorry for her when I heard she cried. But that was me 1-2 days after it happened. Now, on June 26, 2017, I'm unbottling all the anger that wasn't there in the beginning, because it's been building up and bitch, I have something to say about some of the shit Stephanie sent so buckle the fuck up buttercups
- yours truly,
fara.
--------
I don't like holding grudges. I don't even hold grudges against the people who HATE me with a burning passion; I literally could NOT care. But I hate Stephanie Olivera. You literally ruined everything. Had you not thought your bitch ass had a chance to begin with and had you not taken advantage of our strained relationship as a couple and taken advantage of my EX-boyfriend's emotional state at the time, then maybe things wouldn't be this way. I lost him to you; I lost him to guilt; I lost him because of what you created. You're not 100% at fault, but had you fucking NOT DONE ANYTHING.... maybe I'd still have him.
So it's unfair that you got a boyfriend a week after he broke it off with you. Even after all that bullshit you sent him about how he made you feel what true love was or you thought you were soulmates... SOULMATES???????????? LMAOOOOOO i'm so FUCKING offended and i also want to laugh so hard in your face for ever thinking you two were that CLOSE to begin with. Compared to me and what we were before you, you were nothing. You ARE nothing.
I hope your new boyfriend cheats on you with an uglier bitch so you'll understand. I hope he cheats on you with some bitch who knows he has a girlfriend but doesn't think twice about it because she thinks he'll leave you for her. I hope your relationship falls apart like mine did because the guilt is eating him up and YOUR insecurities are eating YOU up because that's what happened to me and I would sell my soul to a higher being if it meant that you'll experience the amount of pain I've had since it happened.
I don't know how things are done in Oregon but I'll play and I'll act like a California girl
I am left with the mess you two created and I am left without him because of what you started. Unlike you, I know him enough to know that your stupid 2 days behind my back was a mistake in his character. It was not him, but I knew and I KNOW that he hasn't been in a good place in a while and that our relationship was already straining at that point because we were both so busy... I acknowledge what he did to me, and I accept that it happened, but I have loved him through good and bad my entire freshman year since the day I met him, had a crush on him, and eventually began dating in February right before Valentine's day and when I went off to my first KPOP concert and came back to go to the freshman dance with him. I loved him through the time when he lost himself when he decided to give up on his major and he loved me through all of my personal failures. You want to write about what it feels like to have him as a soulmate? You can't even begin to list anything significant, because you weren't there for his worst moments and your existence is only a fading millisecond in our lives, and yet you had such an impact that we lost everything.
You were a catalyst, despite everything you might think or he might'v told you to comfort you. And I hate you and I'll always hate you and I'll die remembering how stupid and ignorant and foolish you are, but most importantly, you're just some bitch who tore it all apart.
I can't hate him for what he did. It disappointed me because it was the least that I expected from him, but you'll never understand why I don't hate him. But lemme tell you why anyways... It's because I know what it actually feels like to feel like he's my soulmate. Because despite all the hurt and the betrayal I felt, I know where his heart is, I know who he truly is as a person, and I know how badly his guilt is eating him alive... And therefore, I can't hate him because how can you hate someone whose place in your heart is filled with nothing but love? There's no room in my heart to hate him and I never will.
But you're an empty shell of a person. I know your name and I know your face, and I don't care enough to know you as a person.
I don't feel any guilt hating you or wanting the shittiest things to happen to you. He told me that you used to ride your bike home from school before he started giving you car rides home because he dropped off all of his computer science friends. And I said, "Well, I hope the next time [you] ride your bike home at night, [you] get hit with a car".
How petty is it of me to want you gone? Normally, I would say extremely. You being gone wouldn't rewrite the past or undo the shit you did, but I don't care. Would it make me feel better? Eh. But when I found out, it felt like I was hit with a truck out of nowhere, and now I'm just dead without realizing I died a long time ago.
Did you know that the monday when your lips touched his, I was actually trying to better our relationship? BEcause I knew how fucking shitty the quarter had been for us???? Because I knew we were having issues and I wanted to make it better again?? That I was texting him and doing more to show him that I cared? But the irony is that I was trying to save something that was already fucking dead and I didn't even know it. So that hurts like a fucking BITCH.
Also, I couldn't focus on studying for my Physics and bio final. Why? I found out the day before those two finals so guess who did fucking poorly?
You texted him asking if you shouldve been more "fucking considerate"
Answer: YES FUCKING BITCH ARE YOU FUCKING DUMB BITCH YES BITCH WHAT THE FUCK BITCH YES BITCH U KNEW HE HAD A GF YOU JUST WANTED TO IGNORE IT AND THINK OH MAYBE HE'LL LEAVE HER---- OR WAIT BITCH-- LMAO MAYBE YOU KNEW AND JUST HOPED THAT IT WAS ALREADY OVER AND DONE WITH.
anyways.
I thought of a million ways to ruin you, but out of respect for him, I won't do anything, so don't think that this post is a threat if you're ever reading this. If anyone like your sis or your closest closest bestfriend tries to comfort you saying its not your fault, you had nothing to do with it, blah fucking blah: shut up. You were a big part of it. You can't deny your role in initiating it. You can't deny your role in ANY part of it. So fuck your friends, fuck your sis, fuck anybody that tells you otherwise. 3 people were involved: You, him, and I, so what I say matters more than the opinion of those who don't know jack shit.
Like I said, you're not 100% at fault but bitch you started it. You got feelings from whatever the fuck he was doing. Thought he was flirting with you by being friendly? LMAO anyways, can I judge you for mistaking his friendliness with flirtation? You're his soulmate right? Shouldn't you know the difference ? Wait, you fucking don't. Did you live with him last year in the dorms? No, I did. Did you see him interact with other girls he was close with? No, bitch you didn't. Guess how much you know your so called soulmate. Not a lot. You don't know anything Bc you're just some stupid bitch who caught feelings for some guy who had no interest at all in you but was in a bad emotional state. Congrats, bitch. Try again.
I've already had conversations upon conversations with him after I found out. So don't think that I'm not blaming him or myself. But this post is dedicated to you, you fucking home wrecker bitch. I don't believe you thought he didn't have a girlfriend. That's just some stupid bullshit. I hope you cried long and fucking hard the day he told you about me. I wonder if you cried because you were surprised he had a girlfriend or you cried because he didn't fucking choose to be with your crooked ass. But anyways, boo hoo you right? You cried for a day, maybe two. Have you cried for 2 weeks straight? Have you gone thru the day pretending that you're happy but then mentally break down every fucking night? Do you close your eyes and see ME because that how I am towards your fucking face and I can't FUCKING SLEEP WITHOUT THOSE PICTURES IN MY FUCKING MIND BITCH.
How dare you kiss him in his room. In his car. How fucking dare you use his windbreaker in that photo of you sitting at the Death Star. You don't know how badly I wanted to jump in that photo and fucking PUSH YOU OVER THE LEDGE YOU WERE SITTING ON.
HOW FUCKING DARE YOU. You ruined everything for me. I can't look at his car anymore without remembering your fucking face. I can't look at his windbreaker without your fucking face coming up. And bitch GUESS WHAT???? That was MY favorite windbreaker to wear, and my favorite thing for him to wear. Just the thought of you in it makes me want to fucking explode, because WHO. THE FUCK. ARE YOU.
Anyways, you're probably over it. You've moved on, guilt free blah blah blah sucking new dick and sucking a new fucking face. You have no guilt whatsoever Bc he said to blame him 100% but look in the fucking mirror and tell yourself that you weren't the one who started everything and you're the one who took advantage of him when he only came to you as a fucking friend.
Have fun with your new boyfriend. Hope it lasts long enough that when he breaks up with you over a stupid fucking girl it'll hurt you just as bad and you won't need me to jump in the picture to push you over the edge ^^ because you'll do it to yourself just fine.
- sincerely
And from the bottom of my cold dead fucking heart,
Fuck you
I wish you the absolute worst
And hope to never see me on campus,
Fara
Ps: don't comment to tell me how I should feel or I should calm down Bc I won't, that's not me, and it doesn't fucking matter