Ben 10 | The Color Green (Ch 2)
Whew, so this part was harder to work out than you'd think. I had a whole long chapter written and then I slept on it and decided I didn't like the way it was turning out - it was too fast and rushed and I didn't like it. So I reworked it and I think I know how things are going to work now. I hope. Because Kevin is being stubborn, but if he were to just stop at the wrong moment I don't think it would make sense, either. Stupid boys. :x
So, right. Chapter 2. :D; Rated R, but just for Kevin's language, which seems to get worse the longer I write him. XD
The Color Green
Chapter 2
Just as the smell of cooking eggs began to waft from the kitchen, a figure appeared in the doorway, swathed in a blanket from head to toe. Kevin glanced over and for a split second wondered if Ben hadn’t gone Big Chill or something, but then he realized the frame was too short to be the Necrofriggian. It was just regular Ben, wrapped in his coverlet and trailing the excess across the floor behind him.
Kevin was about to snort and make some smart remark, but the look on Ben’s face stopped him. He stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at Kevin with something akin to shock.
“What?” Kevin made a face at Ben, who was still looking at him like he’d grown a second head. Honestly, Ben didn’t have the right to look at anyone like that when the guy turned into one of ten different aliens on a regular basis. (Well, nine really, since Alien X was pretty much never a good idea, but that wasn’t the point.) “You think that just ‘cause I’m a tough guy, I don’t know how to make scrambled eggs?” He flipped the burner to OFF and went digging through the cabinets for a pair of plates. “Now sit your butt down at the table or you’re not gonna get any.”
Ben complied, pulling a chair out and sitting himself down in it. “Where’s Gwen?” he asked, and Kevin couldn’t help but frown. What, was being alone with him so bad? They’d been alone together a million times before...
It’s just a simple question, Levin, he told himself. Honestly, Kevin didn’t know why he was so jumpy this morning. It just felt like something was building inside of him, and he didn’t know what it was or when it would come to a head, or even how. And that bugged him. Being in control was what he did. And he didn’t like it when things happened otherwise.
It was probably just this whole thing with Ben. How was Kevin supposed to act normal when Tennyson looked half-zombified like this? Ben slipped the makeshift hood from his face and Kevin almost winced to see what the boy looked like in the proper fluorescent light of the kitchen. His skin was still pale, and the hive-blotches looked more like bruises than anything. And they were dark. Were hives supposed to be dark like that? What were hives even supposed to look like in the first place?
But none of that was really important at the moment. Ben was still expecting an answer. “Karate thing. Said she’d be gone most of the day. Guess you’re stuck with me,” Kevin said, turning the frown into a smirk as he brought the eggs over and set one plate in front of Ben. Then he went to the fridge and pulled it open, searching for something to drink.
“What’s this?” Kevin reached into the fridge and pulled out a glass pitcher. “Apple juice?” He took a swig from the top of the pitcher and nearly spit it back out again. It was bitter. “Eew, what is this?”
Ben looked only slightly chagrined. “Green tea,” he said, and Kevin swore he saw the corners of Ben’s mouth twitch up, just a little. “My mom says it’s good for me. Antioxidants or something.”
Kevin eyed the pitcher with disdain. “Guess I know why it’s still full, then.” He made a face, trying to get the bitterness off of his tongue by scraping it against his teeth. “You’re not drinkin’ this. You gotta blender?”
“Up there. What for?”
Kevin didn’t answer; he followed Ben’s finger, pulling down the blender and raiding the fruit basket, the fridge, and the freezer before throwing the proper ingredients in and pushing the button.
A moment later there were two strawberry-banana smoothies on the table next to the eggs. Kevin slid into one of the chairs and looked at Ben, who was still watching him, somewhat wide-eyed. Kevin scowled. “Well? Eat already. Cold eggs suck.”
Ben picked up his fork and speared a bit of egg, bringing it up to his mouth and chewing carefully. “Huh... this is good. Thanks, Kevin.” He started attacking his meal with a bit more vigor, though Kevin had to admit, it was nothing like watching Tennyson eat on a regular day. Usually he was a veritable waste disposal. Today he was significantly slower, but at least he was eating. That had to count for something.
Kevin ate his eggs and gulped his smoothie while he watched Ben eat; the other seemed oblivious to the attention, especially when he started to drink the smoothie and he got that look on his face - the one that he always got. God, Kevin thought, feeling his lips twitch up despite himself, you’d think there was crack in ‘em or something, the way he looks like he gets a fix. Every time.
All the same, the fact that Ben got that look when he took a sip of Kevin’s smoothie said something. And it made Kevin’s stomach flip-flop. Even if that was pretty dumb.
Kevin shook his head as though to clear it, finishing the last of his meal and leaning back to wait for Ben to finish his. It wasn’t exactly a four-course dinner or anything (not to mention it was barely lunchtime), but sick people were supposed to take it easy, weren’t they? Kevin would raid the kitchen later, anyway.
Ben finally seemed to remember that he wasn’t alone in the kitchen, glancing up and cocking an eyebrow in Kevin’s direction. “Is there something on my face?”
It was almost too easy. Kevin smirked. “You seriously just asked me that.”
“...” Ben was silent for a beat before he rolled his eyes and set down his nearly-finished smoothie. “I mean besides the horrible-looking hives. I know about those already.” He glanced at Kevin, then looked away. “Could you not stare? I know they look bad.”
Kevin rolled his eyes away from Ben, shrugging like it was no big deal. “Whatever.” He glanced back at Ben’s plate, asking, “You done?” even though it was clear he was.
Ben nodded and reached forward as though to take his plate to the sink, but Kevin was up before he could move much farther, already taking the plate away. “I got it.” He put both plates and glasses in the sink (fully intending to let Gwen take care of them, of course) and turned back to Ben. “So, what’s Her Highness feel like doin’?”
Ben rolled his eyes again. “I dunno. Not sleeping. We could watch TV or something, I guess.” He got up, pulling his blanket with him, and padded through the kitchen door to the living room. Kevin followed, watching as Ben dropped onto the couch, still swaddled in the blanket. Kevin wondered if he wasn’t feeling worse than he let on, but if Ben wasn’t going to say anything about it, then more power to him. Kevin certainly wasn’t going to coddle him, and Ben had better not expect it, either.
So Kevin did the only logical thing, following Ben and sprawling on the couch next to him. He peered at the three remotes sitting on the table, picking up one after the other until he’d discerned which one would turn on the TV. (He wasn’t going to ask - if he could figure out alien tech then surely he could work the Tennysons’ TV.) The screen lit up and the canned sound of some soap opera filled the air.
“It’s Saturday, don’t they have anything better on?” Kevin muttered, flipping through the channels. He finally stopped on some soccer match, not really at all interested but figuring he’d at least cater to Tennyson a little. Let goalie boy watch something that might interest him for a while. It wasn’t like there was anything on that interested Kevin. He tossed the remote back onto the coffee table and settled back against the cushions a bit more.
Ben shifted a little beside him, his attention clearly falling in with the players on the screen. In the flickering light of the television he looked just as pale as he had in the kitchen. Kevin tried to ignore the pallor of his skin, instead letting his eyes defocus just a bit as he watched Ben’s profile watching TV.
He traced down Ben’s forehead, following his nose and the jut of his chin, the lines of his throat, the Adam’s Apple. He watched it bob as Ben swallowed. It was weird. He hadn’t spent a lot of time staring at other guys’ throats. Usually it was Gwen’s throat Kevin stared at.
Well, obviously. Kevin sighed.
Which, of course, made Ben remember he was there and glance over at him. “Something up?”
Kevin debated making some smart remark about the lack of entertainment, but he realized that watching Ben watch TV was actually slightly more entertaining that actually watching TV. So he shook his head; “Nah. Just watch yer game.”
Ben eyed him for a moment longer, but then turned back to the television once more. And Kevin went back to watching Ben. Because what else was he supposed to do to pass the time?
But it felt different, somehow, watching him. Sitting here, this close to him... Oh hell, it wasn’t like they never sat close, there were all those times in the car, after all. But Gwen was usually in the front seat, and while Kevin had to admit that she usually smelled nicer, it wasn’t like Ben smelled bad. Just different. Wilder. More masculine.
And Kevin knew he liked it.
Hell, if he was honest with himself, he had to admit he’d thought about kissing the other boy for months. Considered what it would be like to fuck him. And somehow the less he admitted it to himself, the more worked up he’d become, and lately...
But it was nothing special. This was stupid. They were just thoughts, just urges, and they didn’t mean anything. Why should they? Kevin sure as hell had thought about kissing Gwen, thought about what she’d feel like underneath him on the bed or the floor, so why was it so weird that he thought about that same shit with Ben?
Well, there were a number of reasons. Starting with the fact that it was Ben, and ending with the fact that, well, it was Ben. The kid who’d nearly gotten him killed when they were younger - the kid who’d let Kevin spend years of his life in the Null Void, whose Omnitrix had practically taken away what little humanity Kevin had had left when he’d tried to absorb it.
But he was also the kid who’d decided to trust him and let him be a part of a team, this past year. No questions asked - well, not a lot of them, anyway. There was the occasional issue of mistrust, but they were small bumps in the road. Nothing that would actually dislodge this... whatever it was they had now.
But what if they could have more?
Gwen was... well, Gwen was Gwen. She was a girl - a pretty, spunky, brash one at that - and Kevin didn’t understand a thing about her. Sure, she was nice to look at, with that waist and those hips and that chest, the way her lips curved and were that perfect shade of pink and the way her hair flew out behind her when she was kicking alien ass. Who wouldn’t follow her pretty much anywhere? Kevin had no problem admitting he’d been more than willing to follow that pretty little body into more than one tight spot and back out again.
But then there was Ben. And honestly, for all that Ben was just as hard to figure out, there was a part of him that wasn’t - a part of him that made perfect sense to Kevin because deep down, they were very much the same. Kevin had known it from the instant he’d laid eyes on the boy, five years ago. Sure, Ben hadn’t turned out to be the partner-in-crime Kevin had been looking for; but Kevin knew, when he let himself realize the truth of it, that Ben had done him a favor by not being that. If he’d been what Kevin had wanted him to be five years ago, they wouldn’t be sitting here now. For all Kevin knew, they’d be dead. And dead was not someplace Kevin wanted to be.
“... Kevin?”
Kevin froze, his name on Ben’s lips bringing him suddenly back into the present. Ben had finally noticed that Kevin wasn’t watching the TV, he was watching him, and now the brunette was half-turned, the shadows on his face flickering in the light of the TV, as he looked at Kevin with confused, worried eyes.
“What?” Kevin asked, bristling and shifting a little; he didn’t like getting caught at anything, most certainly not staring at Ben Tennyson and thinking deep thoughts or whatever the hell had been going on in his head.
Ben shrugged a little. “I didn’t think you liked soccer.” It was more of a statement than a question; then again, they both knew it was true.
“Not really.”
“We can watch something else,” Ben offered, his eyes still locked on Kevin’s, and it was rattling Kevin in a way that he really didn’t like. Like Ben could see into his mind and know what he’d just been thinking when Kevin wasn’t even sure of it himself.
“Whatever. You’re the sickie.”
“Well, you’re technically my guest.”
Kevin snorted. “What, you’re gonna start playing the gracious host? Not the day for it, Benji.” He got up stiffly and headed for the kitchen. “I’m gonna do the dishes.”
He hadn’t wanted to do the dishes, but he suddenly needed to be doing something, anything other than sitting on the couch next to Ben. It was stupid and it felt a whole lot like running away, but Kevin was dangerously close to doing something he’d regret. And he had enough regrets already, to be racking up any more of them.
He started the water, ran it until it got almost too hot for comfort and started scrubbing dishes. There weren’t a lot of them, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take a long time cleaning them.
What the hell had he been thinking, back there? He knew now where that train of thought had been going, and he didn’t like it at all. Because it was going someplace he couldn’t come back from, someplace that he was absolutely sure Ben would not want to follow. It was worse than the urge to steal stuff, to skim a little off the top, because who got hurt when Kevin did that? No one - and if anyone were to suffer later for it at all, it was the bad guys, anyway. It was all in the name of good, or whatever. But this wasn’t like that at all. This was totally different.
Ben wasn’t what Kevin thought he might be, and he just needed to fucking learn that and stop trying to see things that weren’t there. Ben Tennyson, the great hero that he was, would never be everything Kevin Levin thought he could be. The endless dance with Gwen was better. At least there was predictability in their stalemate - because that’s all it would ever be. Kevin wondered if she knew that, then realized he shouldn’t care, anyway. She was a big girl. If she didn’t know that and got hurt, it wasn’t his fault.
None of this was his fault. It was their fault. Why couldn’t the world give him something, anything, when he asked? Why did nothing fall into his lap the way it fell into others’? Why did Kevin Levin have to work twice as hard for less pay and then thank the system for it?
Fuck. Kevin banged one of the plates down onto the counter particularly loudly and paused, letting the water continue to run down the drain as he leaned heavily against the sink with both hands. He knew that was the way things were, knew they were unfair. The sooner to actually realized it, the sooner the pain would stop. He’d gotten rid of so much of it, to have it all come crashing back down now -
“... Kevin?”
Kevin’s back stiffened, but he didn’t turn around. “Yeah? You thirsty or something?”
“Kevin,” Ben said again, and this time his voice was closer. Kevin swung around, ready to say something, but the look on Ben’s face silenced it in his throat. He was still pale, still had those blotches around his mouth and eyes, trailing down his neck. The blanket was falling off of one shoulder and trailed behind him on the ground, and his pajama pants were hanging low on his waist. There was a sliver of creamy skin visible between the white t-shirt and the dark hem of his pants.
But his face - his face was wide open, his expression unguarded and all Kevin could see was uncertainty, and worry. And all Kevin could think was that every time he tried to push the idiot away, it only made Ben cling tighter. That was just the way he was.
“Is something wrong?”
Kevin reached behind his back and shut off the water. Hippies like Ben’s parents would probably never forgive him if their water bill was unnaturally high. He watched Ben steadily as he said, quietly, “No.”
Ben frowned. “Then why’d you storm off?”
Kevin snorted. “That wasn’t storming off. Trust me, Tennyson - I storm off, you’ll know it. I told you I was doin’ the dishes.” He threw the dishrag over the faucet. “Now I’m done. You sick of watching TV already?”
Ben was still frowning as Kevin passed him and walked into the living room, shutting off the TV. “If you don’t want to be here, I can take care of myself,” he said carefully.
Oh, so that was it? He didn’t think Kevin wanted to be saddled with sick boy watch? Well, it was mostly true, except this was Ben and Kevin was the one who’d offered in the first place. It sure did make heading out of here to take a drive pretty hard -
Hey. Maybe that was it. Kevin grinned. “Get some shoes, Benji. And a coat. We’re going for a drive.”
Crossposted to ben10_x_kevin11 and slashben10.
So, right. Chapter 2. :D; Rated R, but just for Kevin's language, which seems to get worse the longer I write him. XD
The Color Green
Chapter 2
Just as the smell of cooking eggs began to waft from the kitchen, a figure appeared in the doorway, swathed in a blanket from head to toe. Kevin glanced over and for a split second wondered if Ben hadn’t gone Big Chill or something, but then he realized the frame was too short to be the Necrofriggian. It was just regular Ben, wrapped in his coverlet and trailing the excess across the floor behind him.
Kevin was about to snort and make some smart remark, but the look on Ben’s face stopped him. He stood in the doorway for a moment, looking at Kevin with something akin to shock.
“What?” Kevin made a face at Ben, who was still looking at him like he’d grown a second head. Honestly, Ben didn’t have the right to look at anyone like that when the guy turned into one of ten different aliens on a regular basis. (Well, nine really, since Alien X was pretty much never a good idea, but that wasn’t the point.) “You think that just ‘cause I’m a tough guy, I don’t know how to make scrambled eggs?” He flipped the burner to OFF and went digging through the cabinets for a pair of plates. “Now sit your butt down at the table or you’re not gonna get any.”
Ben complied, pulling a chair out and sitting himself down in it. “Where’s Gwen?” he asked, and Kevin couldn’t help but frown. What, was being alone with him so bad? They’d been alone together a million times before...
It’s just a simple question, Levin, he told himself. Honestly, Kevin didn’t know why he was so jumpy this morning. It just felt like something was building inside of him, and he didn’t know what it was or when it would come to a head, or even how. And that bugged him. Being in control was what he did. And he didn’t like it when things happened otherwise.
It was probably just this whole thing with Ben. How was Kevin supposed to act normal when Tennyson looked half-zombified like this? Ben slipped the makeshift hood from his face and Kevin almost winced to see what the boy looked like in the proper fluorescent light of the kitchen. His skin was still pale, and the hive-blotches looked more like bruises than anything. And they were dark. Were hives supposed to be dark like that? What were hives even supposed to look like in the first place?
But none of that was really important at the moment. Ben was still expecting an answer. “Karate thing. Said she’d be gone most of the day. Guess you’re stuck with me,” Kevin said, turning the frown into a smirk as he brought the eggs over and set one plate in front of Ben. Then he went to the fridge and pulled it open, searching for something to drink.
“What’s this?” Kevin reached into the fridge and pulled out a glass pitcher. “Apple juice?” He took a swig from the top of the pitcher and nearly spit it back out again. It was bitter. “Eew, what is this?”
Ben looked only slightly chagrined. “Green tea,” he said, and Kevin swore he saw the corners of Ben’s mouth twitch up, just a little. “My mom says it’s good for me. Antioxidants or something.”
Kevin eyed the pitcher with disdain. “Guess I know why it’s still full, then.” He made a face, trying to get the bitterness off of his tongue by scraping it against his teeth. “You’re not drinkin’ this. You gotta blender?”
“Up there. What for?”
Kevin didn’t answer; he followed Ben’s finger, pulling down the blender and raiding the fruit basket, the fridge, and the freezer before throwing the proper ingredients in and pushing the button.
A moment later there were two strawberry-banana smoothies on the table next to the eggs. Kevin slid into one of the chairs and looked at Ben, who was still watching him, somewhat wide-eyed. Kevin scowled. “Well? Eat already. Cold eggs suck.”
Ben picked up his fork and speared a bit of egg, bringing it up to his mouth and chewing carefully. “Huh... this is good. Thanks, Kevin.” He started attacking his meal with a bit more vigor, though Kevin had to admit, it was nothing like watching Tennyson eat on a regular day. Usually he was a veritable waste disposal. Today he was significantly slower, but at least he was eating. That had to count for something.
Kevin ate his eggs and gulped his smoothie while he watched Ben eat; the other seemed oblivious to the attention, especially when he started to drink the smoothie and he got that look on his face - the one that he always got. God, Kevin thought, feeling his lips twitch up despite himself, you’d think there was crack in ‘em or something, the way he looks like he gets a fix. Every time.
All the same, the fact that Ben got that look when he took a sip of Kevin’s smoothie said something. And it made Kevin’s stomach flip-flop. Even if that was pretty dumb.
Kevin shook his head as though to clear it, finishing the last of his meal and leaning back to wait for Ben to finish his. It wasn’t exactly a four-course dinner or anything (not to mention it was barely lunchtime), but sick people were supposed to take it easy, weren’t they? Kevin would raid the kitchen later, anyway.
Ben finally seemed to remember that he wasn’t alone in the kitchen, glancing up and cocking an eyebrow in Kevin’s direction. “Is there something on my face?”
It was almost too easy. Kevin smirked. “You seriously just asked me that.”
“...” Ben was silent for a beat before he rolled his eyes and set down his nearly-finished smoothie. “I mean besides the horrible-looking hives. I know about those already.” He glanced at Kevin, then looked away. “Could you not stare? I know they look bad.”
Kevin rolled his eyes away from Ben, shrugging like it was no big deal. “Whatever.” He glanced back at Ben’s plate, asking, “You done?” even though it was clear he was.
Ben nodded and reached forward as though to take his plate to the sink, but Kevin was up before he could move much farther, already taking the plate away. “I got it.” He put both plates and glasses in the sink (fully intending to let Gwen take care of them, of course) and turned back to Ben. “So, what’s Her Highness feel like doin’?”
Ben rolled his eyes again. “I dunno. Not sleeping. We could watch TV or something, I guess.” He got up, pulling his blanket with him, and padded through the kitchen door to the living room. Kevin followed, watching as Ben dropped onto the couch, still swaddled in the blanket. Kevin wondered if he wasn’t feeling worse than he let on, but if Ben wasn’t going to say anything about it, then more power to him. Kevin certainly wasn’t going to coddle him, and Ben had better not expect it, either.
So Kevin did the only logical thing, following Ben and sprawling on the couch next to him. He peered at the three remotes sitting on the table, picking up one after the other until he’d discerned which one would turn on the TV. (He wasn’t going to ask - if he could figure out alien tech then surely he could work the Tennysons’ TV.) The screen lit up and the canned sound of some soap opera filled the air.
“It’s Saturday, don’t they have anything better on?” Kevin muttered, flipping through the channels. He finally stopped on some soccer match, not really at all interested but figuring he’d at least cater to Tennyson a little. Let goalie boy watch something that might interest him for a while. It wasn’t like there was anything on that interested Kevin. He tossed the remote back onto the coffee table and settled back against the cushions a bit more.
Ben shifted a little beside him, his attention clearly falling in with the players on the screen. In the flickering light of the television he looked just as pale as he had in the kitchen. Kevin tried to ignore the pallor of his skin, instead letting his eyes defocus just a bit as he watched Ben’s profile watching TV.
He traced down Ben’s forehead, following his nose and the jut of his chin, the lines of his throat, the Adam’s Apple. He watched it bob as Ben swallowed. It was weird. He hadn’t spent a lot of time staring at other guys’ throats. Usually it was Gwen’s throat Kevin stared at.
Well, obviously. Kevin sighed.
Which, of course, made Ben remember he was there and glance over at him. “Something up?”
Kevin debated making some smart remark about the lack of entertainment, but he realized that watching Ben watch TV was actually slightly more entertaining that actually watching TV. So he shook his head; “Nah. Just watch yer game.”
Ben eyed him for a moment longer, but then turned back to the television once more. And Kevin went back to watching Ben. Because what else was he supposed to do to pass the time?
But it felt different, somehow, watching him. Sitting here, this close to him... Oh hell, it wasn’t like they never sat close, there were all those times in the car, after all. But Gwen was usually in the front seat, and while Kevin had to admit that she usually smelled nicer, it wasn’t like Ben smelled bad. Just different. Wilder. More masculine.
And Kevin knew he liked it.
Hell, if he was honest with himself, he had to admit he’d thought about kissing the other boy for months. Considered what it would be like to fuck him. And somehow the less he admitted it to himself, the more worked up he’d become, and lately...
But it was nothing special. This was stupid. They were just thoughts, just urges, and they didn’t mean anything. Why should they? Kevin sure as hell had thought about kissing Gwen, thought about what she’d feel like underneath him on the bed or the floor, so why was it so weird that he thought about that same shit with Ben?
Well, there were a number of reasons. Starting with the fact that it was Ben, and ending with the fact that, well, it was Ben. The kid who’d nearly gotten him killed when they were younger - the kid who’d let Kevin spend years of his life in the Null Void, whose Omnitrix had practically taken away what little humanity Kevin had had left when he’d tried to absorb it.
But he was also the kid who’d decided to trust him and let him be a part of a team, this past year. No questions asked - well, not a lot of them, anyway. There was the occasional issue of mistrust, but they were small bumps in the road. Nothing that would actually dislodge this... whatever it was they had now.
But what if they could have more?
Gwen was... well, Gwen was Gwen. She was a girl - a pretty, spunky, brash one at that - and Kevin didn’t understand a thing about her. Sure, she was nice to look at, with that waist and those hips and that chest, the way her lips curved and were that perfect shade of pink and the way her hair flew out behind her when she was kicking alien ass. Who wouldn’t follow her pretty much anywhere? Kevin had no problem admitting he’d been more than willing to follow that pretty little body into more than one tight spot and back out again.
But then there was Ben. And honestly, for all that Ben was just as hard to figure out, there was a part of him that wasn’t - a part of him that made perfect sense to Kevin because deep down, they were very much the same. Kevin had known it from the instant he’d laid eyes on the boy, five years ago. Sure, Ben hadn’t turned out to be the partner-in-crime Kevin had been looking for; but Kevin knew, when he let himself realize the truth of it, that Ben had done him a favor by not being that. If he’d been what Kevin had wanted him to be five years ago, they wouldn’t be sitting here now. For all Kevin knew, they’d be dead. And dead was not someplace Kevin wanted to be.
“... Kevin?”
Kevin froze, his name on Ben’s lips bringing him suddenly back into the present. Ben had finally noticed that Kevin wasn’t watching the TV, he was watching him, and now the brunette was half-turned, the shadows on his face flickering in the light of the TV, as he looked at Kevin with confused, worried eyes.
“What?” Kevin asked, bristling and shifting a little; he didn’t like getting caught at anything, most certainly not staring at Ben Tennyson and thinking deep thoughts or whatever the hell had been going on in his head.
Ben shrugged a little. “I didn’t think you liked soccer.” It was more of a statement than a question; then again, they both knew it was true.
“Not really.”
“We can watch something else,” Ben offered, his eyes still locked on Kevin’s, and it was rattling Kevin in a way that he really didn’t like. Like Ben could see into his mind and know what he’d just been thinking when Kevin wasn’t even sure of it himself.
“Whatever. You’re the sickie.”
“Well, you’re technically my guest.”
Kevin snorted. “What, you’re gonna start playing the gracious host? Not the day for it, Benji.” He got up stiffly and headed for the kitchen. “I’m gonna do the dishes.”
He hadn’t wanted to do the dishes, but he suddenly needed to be doing something, anything other than sitting on the couch next to Ben. It was stupid and it felt a whole lot like running away, but Kevin was dangerously close to doing something he’d regret. And he had enough regrets already, to be racking up any more of them.
He started the water, ran it until it got almost too hot for comfort and started scrubbing dishes. There weren’t a lot of them, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t take a long time cleaning them.
What the hell had he been thinking, back there? He knew now where that train of thought had been going, and he didn’t like it at all. Because it was going someplace he couldn’t come back from, someplace that he was absolutely sure Ben would not want to follow. It was worse than the urge to steal stuff, to skim a little off the top, because who got hurt when Kevin did that? No one - and if anyone were to suffer later for it at all, it was the bad guys, anyway. It was all in the name of good, or whatever. But this wasn’t like that at all. This was totally different.
Ben wasn’t what Kevin thought he might be, and he just needed to fucking learn that and stop trying to see things that weren’t there. Ben Tennyson, the great hero that he was, would never be everything Kevin Levin thought he could be. The endless dance with Gwen was better. At least there was predictability in their stalemate - because that’s all it would ever be. Kevin wondered if she knew that, then realized he shouldn’t care, anyway. She was a big girl. If she didn’t know that and got hurt, it wasn’t his fault.
None of this was his fault. It was their fault. Why couldn’t the world give him something, anything, when he asked? Why did nothing fall into his lap the way it fell into others’? Why did Kevin Levin have to work twice as hard for less pay and then thank the system for it?
Fuck. Kevin banged one of the plates down onto the counter particularly loudly and paused, letting the water continue to run down the drain as he leaned heavily against the sink with both hands. He knew that was the way things were, knew they were unfair. The sooner to actually realized it, the sooner the pain would stop. He’d gotten rid of so much of it, to have it all come crashing back down now -
“... Kevin?”
Kevin’s back stiffened, but he didn’t turn around. “Yeah? You thirsty or something?”
“Kevin,” Ben said again, and this time his voice was closer. Kevin swung around, ready to say something, but the look on Ben’s face silenced it in his throat. He was still pale, still had those blotches around his mouth and eyes, trailing down his neck. The blanket was falling off of one shoulder and trailed behind him on the ground, and his pajama pants were hanging low on his waist. There was a sliver of creamy skin visible between the white t-shirt and the dark hem of his pants.
But his face - his face was wide open, his expression unguarded and all Kevin could see was uncertainty, and worry. And all Kevin could think was that every time he tried to push the idiot away, it only made Ben cling tighter. That was just the way he was.
“Is something wrong?”
Kevin reached behind his back and shut off the water. Hippies like Ben’s parents would probably never forgive him if their water bill was unnaturally high. He watched Ben steadily as he said, quietly, “No.”
Ben frowned. “Then why’d you storm off?”
Kevin snorted. “That wasn’t storming off. Trust me, Tennyson - I storm off, you’ll know it. I told you I was doin’ the dishes.” He threw the dishrag over the faucet. “Now I’m done. You sick of watching TV already?”
Ben was still frowning as Kevin passed him and walked into the living room, shutting off the TV. “If you don’t want to be here, I can take care of myself,” he said carefully.
Oh, so that was it? He didn’t think Kevin wanted to be saddled with sick boy watch? Well, it was mostly true, except this was Ben and Kevin was the one who’d offered in the first place. It sure did make heading out of here to take a drive pretty hard -
Hey. Maybe that was it. Kevin grinned. “Get some shoes, Benji. And a coat. We’re going for a drive.”
Crossposted to ben10_x_kevin11 and slashben10.