Changing colors
If she only knew how terrible I feel right now. But that's the whole point isn't it? Everything I feel and do, she no longer cares so why should I worry? I still can't let go and its killing me so badly inside. It seems that with each passing day that we parted ways, I become a lot worse.
I think I've developed Tourette's Syndrome, calling out her name randomly, and just her name. At first I said it willingly, but as the days go by, I suddenly find myself calling out her name even when I am talking with someone or even playing a video game on my PS3. "I miss her so much" is all I can think about.
In the office, while I do work. I try to avoid looking at her or hearing her voice. I put on my Anime MP3s on max until people can hear the sound booming out of my headphones. I do this so that I can't hear her when she speaks. Hearing her voice, is just painful. Its enough for me to want to become deaf. When I hear her beautiful cute voice, I'm just reminded of how things were and how stupid I was to have let things continue the way they are.
I haven't told anyone yet and I don't think I will be able to tell this to anyone soon. I just can't bear it.
I continue to miss and miss and miss her everyday. Everyday, I wake up and I talk to an "imaginary her" asking how her day was yesterday, and telling her how much I love her.