Nightmare
It's been quite a while since i've had a nightmare like this rattle me so much. So real, yet ... what it had to do with disturbed me quite a bit. I won't get into any details of it. Basically it involved all the people I love and care about getting hurt... by me. And when I say hurt I mean physically :| Yah ... bad nightmare. You know that feeling you get when your best friend tells you some really bad news, the pain in the bottom of your stomach or chest? I woke up with that.
I'm just sitting here now, after a few hours of sleep just trying to relax so I can go back to sleep. I'm not sure why I had this nightmare, maybe its the new meds. i'll continue watching to see if I continue to get them. But nightmares aren't uncommon in my life. There was a point I would have them continually...
On other side notes I'm working on Budgetting myself. Something I'll need to start doing, basically need to start acting like I'm broke *lol* ... Just so I can save money, pay bills while still living. heh. It will take me a while to get back into the habbit. I've gotten into the habbit of spending money like crazy, so I need to work on stopping that... *innocent*
Thursday I'm trying to have a party with all my friends. Kind of a Welcome back to Spokane Party *laugh* ... Plus a "Welcome to living alone Jess Party"... as we both have had our living arrangements changed. I am hoping it turns out lots of fun. My new friend Malia will be joining us and I will introduce her to all my friends, I think she will fit in fine. She's a freak just like the rest *laugh* ... Though for some odd reason this last week I've reaaallllly wanted to drink ... my god I just realized their is beer in the fridge!! eek someone save me!! I feel like a alcoholic *lol* ... even though before hand I never really drank and I haven't had a drink in a month and a half. heh.
Ihave had a few things bothering me the last few days. I wouldn't say they are anything critical or life threatening. Justt the standard life issues. I know everything will be alright and I'll work through them and I will. I've remained pretty calm about them ... and just content. So i'm quite surprised. We will see what happens...
I look at myself now and I can't believe what I see. So many things in my life have changed and all for the better. When I look at myself in the mirror I see something I thought I would never see again, myself. I see many good and great things and it makes me smile. I've come so far and I'm proud of myself.
I'm just sitting here now, after a few hours of sleep just trying to relax so I can go back to sleep. I'm not sure why I had this nightmare, maybe its the new meds. i'll continue watching to see if I continue to get them. But nightmares aren't uncommon in my life. There was a point I would have them continually...
On other side notes I'm working on Budgetting myself. Something I'll need to start doing, basically need to start acting like I'm broke *lol* ... Just so I can save money, pay bills while still living. heh. It will take me a while to get back into the habbit. I've gotten into the habbit of spending money like crazy, so I need to work on stopping that... *innocent*
Thursday I'm trying to have a party with all my friends. Kind of a Welcome back to Spokane Party *laugh* ... Plus a "Welcome to living alone Jess Party"... as we both have had our living arrangements changed. I am hoping it turns out lots of fun. My new friend Malia will be joining us and I will introduce her to all my friends, I think she will fit in fine. She's a freak just like the rest *laugh* ... Though for some odd reason this last week I've reaaallllly wanted to drink ... my god I just realized their is beer in the fridge!! eek someone save me!! I feel like a alcoholic *lol* ... even though before hand I never really drank and I haven't had a drink in a month and a half. heh.
Ihave had a few things bothering me the last few days. I wouldn't say they are anything critical or life threatening. Justt the standard life issues. I know everything will be alright and I'll work through them and I will. I've remained pretty calm about them ... and just content. So i'm quite surprised. We will see what happens...
I look at myself now and I can't believe what I see. So many things in my life have changed and all for the better. When I look at myself in the mirror I see something I thought I would never see again, myself. I see many good and great things and it makes me smile. I've come so far and I'm proud of myself.