~This is all so clear~
Nothing is going right! Im back to my old ways which isnt too good, Ive been drinking too damn much again, My parents are yelling as i type this...im talkin screaming & breaking shit, exchanging horrible verbal abuse, my dad keeps saying "due to my back problems no one will have to deal with MY shit anymore", this is stuff i dont want or need to hear, I'm not doing anything right, Im sad with some happenings and the way ive been acting...due to certain events and just being low on the life aspect, Ive been such an asshole to alot of undeserving people...and thats just NOT me...believe it or not I dont mean to be a jerk, I really dont, I never have wanted that (BUT i do act on how i get treated), Things are slipping right threw my fingertips that i never wanted to slip, I cant sleep well, No motivation, easily broken, easily tempered, stressed, careless, and somewhar passive, I found out things that I didnt need to find out...that hurt and made me feel worthless...made me think its pointless and contemplate giving in and giving up.
Sorry if it seems like this is just one big cry for HELP! Its not!, sorry if this comes across as...me me me...Give me attention now!...its not! I dont ask or need attention or anything like that. I just want to get all this out the way, out of my life...so i can really find my true self. Let you in on SOME of the things that make it seem so rough. I know I'll never be oh so god damn happy-go-lucky...but I want the bad to be less than the good. I think we have both made it very clear that there is no point, nor is there any hope.
<3 Jason
Sorry if it seems like this is just one big cry for HELP! Its not!, sorry if this comes across as...me me me...Give me attention now!...its not! I dont ask or need attention or anything like that. I just want to get all this out the way, out of my life...so i can really find my true self. Let you in on SOME of the things that make it seem so rough. I know I'll never be oh so god damn happy-go-lucky...but I want the bad to be less than the good. I think we have both made it very clear that there is no point, nor is there any hope.
<3 Jason