like little flags . that was so bad . what's the matter?nothing(nOthinG)
so, as i promised, ill discuss briefly why i was in trouble. long story short, i got caught smoking pot, by the police...hence the police car i was leaning against, brandon and andrew. im okay though...didnt get into much trouble since it was the first time ive been caught, and i dont plan on doing it again...it was stupid of me. whether you think it's stupid to smoke pot, or that i was stupid enough to get caught, it was stupid, so lets not make any jokes about it just yet...im still kinda embarassed, because i don't want to develop a name for myself as a pot-head, and this doesn't help.
i've been doing a little reflecting lately, and i was kinda bummed out because i've discovered that i'm still really self-conscious, and i hate that. i don't like myself, especially the last few months. i need to get in touch with God again; it's been so long. i need to reassess myself and my values, and get some priorities straight. i don't mean the way i dress or anything...i mean my attitude and outlook. yes, i'm still down with animal rights and all that jazz, but i think i've been putting on some type of facade, and i think it's me being cocky or something because i found out all these girls like me...that's me being objective. i'm not doing it on purpose, but it think i'm doing it, and this is exactly why i didnt want that type of attention. i need to fucking check myself before i riggity-wreck myself. someone dash my ego or something. anyway, more good news. chris's parents aren't mad at me for getting chris in trouble, and we can still practice and what not, so hopefully we'll do that on friday. ::cross my fingers:: another thing i need to start doing again is writing. i haven't done anything creative in eons, save for stop the seasons, which is mostly the three of us playing with pedals and keyboards...i need to fucking let some of this tension and negative energy out onto paper, and then throw those papers away and get some positive energy out. i'm going to go try to write.
love you all.so much.lw.
i've been doing a little reflecting lately, and i was kinda bummed out because i've discovered that i'm still really self-conscious, and i hate that. i don't like myself, especially the last few months. i need to get in touch with God again; it's been so long. i need to reassess myself and my values, and get some priorities straight. i don't mean the way i dress or anything...i mean my attitude and outlook. yes, i'm still down with animal rights and all that jazz, but i think i've been putting on some type of facade, and i think it's me being cocky or something because i found out all these girls like me...that's me being objective. i'm not doing it on purpose, but it think i'm doing it, and this is exactly why i didnt want that type of attention. i need to fucking check myself before i riggity-wreck myself. someone dash my ego or something. anyway, more good news. chris's parents aren't mad at me for getting chris in trouble, and we can still practice and what not, so hopefully we'll do that on friday. ::cross my fingers:: another thing i need to start doing again is writing. i haven't done anything creative in eons, save for stop the seasons, which is mostly the three of us playing with pedals and keyboards...i need to fucking let some of this tension and negative energy out onto paper, and then throw those papers away and get some positive energy out. i'm going to go try to write.
love you all.so much.lw.