(no subject)
today was good. i woke up late, then went downstairs and made myself a big ass cup of chai. my mom and i chatted civilly for a change, which made me feel really optimistic. its begining to feel like the only time i talk to her is throught clenched teeth. she and my father insist its because im 'just a teenager' and somehow i know that they're right, which angers me even more, which just proves their point. vicious cycle. she left for work and i turned off all the lights in the house(i dont know why my mother puts them on in the daytime, but it annoys the fuck out of me. i dont know if its because shes waisting electricity, or that the house seems just a bright without all of the lights on, mabye i just like the dark...or mabye i just am looking for even more ways in which to argue with her. you tell me.), then i burned cds onto my computer. phil came down after a while and i made him breakfast, then he gave me a piece of his weed chocolate which was insanely cool. met abby and grace at prudential at three and we just talked and ate and sat around copley untill 7. went over to grace's, and she gave me like 15 cds to burn. im so fucking excited-MUSIC!!!! I LOVE YOU! talking to grace made me realize how insecure and fake i am. ive needed to come to the realization for a while, and hope that ill end up changing. i need to change.