The day approaches...

[existintransit]

Next week, on Abraham Lincoln's birthday, I turn 40. As hard as I have tried to keep this day from coming, and as long as I have been in denial, I feel my efforts are futile. I have officially been living in hell for going on about six months now. But being the person I am and have always been meant to be, I look at the endless fiery pit of hell, and the broken bodies and wasted minds(and there are a LOT of wasted minds in these here parts)and I don't accept it as a final resting place. I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Even as I study the fiery pit that I now call home, I have become much more an investigator of human life. At least what little human life there is left here to exist. I see the possibility of other lives and other ways of living and on some level I can accept that, just so long as I am NOT a part of it. I am determined to believe that I was never meant to be here, but even so, I am determined to take from the experience anything that I may find helpful when I move on to my destined life. It may be possible that you could find some good in any situation, but sometimes you have to look so hard and so long that the truth seems virtually invisible. But because I do believe that we as mankind must be held responsible for our own choices, that circumstance cannot be entirely to blame. But even so, I just can't emphasize enough how completely ignorant and inept the human race is that I am forced to deal with in this town. It just makes my head spin. It's so surreal. Perhaps I will be able to share some of my completely incredible experiences of "survival of the weakest" stories that I have accumulated here.
On a completely unrelated subject, I did finally write a non-fiction book last fall. I actually think it's kind of good. It has potential anyway. It only took me about two weeks to write it. But I do think I could have "mapped out" the book a little better, so as not to delve into too many tangents.