I LOVE YOU
It was snowing yesterday and day before yesterday in Loughborough,UK.
It is so cold and I cannot stand it anymore.
I have no lectures this month so I think I really should stay in Europe instead of backing home with my housemates.
They fought a couple of times during the short journey and these 7 days sucked, I mean they are not bad guys but this chrismas was a totally disaster and I do not want to suffer it twice.
I am not feeling very well and my heart is keeping bleeding all these times because I miss you so much, I miss you every second, every minute and every hour, however, you will never know there is girl who wants you so bad, and that lost feeling is eating me alive again again and all over again. You have no idea that I try so god damn hard to forget your smile, I wish I could erase my unbearable memories and ease my miserable pain as fast as I can but I know this torturous attempt would be futile.
Your voice is like the most beautiful poison and planted so deep inside my world, you are my purgatory, my dooms day. I want to run away without direction, hide, escape, surrender or desperately find someone, anyone to replace you, to fill the big hole of my poor wretched heart.
I do not want to admit it but yeah, this hopeless love nearly burns the soul out of me.
There are so many bitter tears behind my fake happy mask.
The scars of this wound will remain forever and I know I will see your face clearly through all the strangers, crowds and darkness.
I love you, can you love me back?
Can you choose me instead of her please?
Can you just look me in the eyes even just once?
Can you be with me, cherish me and promise me that you will never leave.
I am not good enough for you but I can change, I can be better because you may be my one and only.
But I know you will never want me seriously.