"It's a question of time 'til you're mine and you'll learn"

[exilian]

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So I discovered something.

I'm terrified of myself.

I hid behind so many things throughout my life so that the power deep within me would never emerge.

Then, when everything fell apart, I started drinking and smoking.

Then put on a lot of weight eating shitty food.

I thought it was depression.

It was, to a point.

But, really, it was fear.

Abject terror, in fact.

See, now - with everything gone - I was free.

I could let everything that was inside, out.

And I couldn't face it.

I didn't know what good or harm it could do.

So I drowned it again.

Weighed it down.

Burned it up.

Yet, still:

Behind the tired eyes.

The aging face.

The gray whiskers.

I see it, snarling at me, in the mirror.

It wants out.

I don't know if I can cage it anymore.

I don't know if I should.

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