(no subject)
Title: Watching Stars Without You.
Author: teamharkness.
Pairing(s): mentions of Gwen/Ianto, Jack/Ianto.
Rating: PG.
Summary: Jack returns to Earth and reflects on the life of Ianto through the eyes of his young daughter by Gwen. This is taken from a private role-playing game I was once involved in where Ianto & Gwen were together. Obviously some details have been changed from canon. Any flames or comments about “poor Rhys” will be deleted. I don’t hate Rhys. I love Rhys to pieces. But I don’t need to hear arguments about why Gwen is a horrible, horrible human being. Okay?
Warnings: Character death.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters that I’m writing. Those belong to Russell T. Davies and the rest of the BBC. I just play with them in very strange ways.
= = =
She slept against his chest, her little hand curled around his braces and the other in her mouth. Her dark curls were tied into ponytails, her dark eyelashes fluttered against her chubby cheeks as she slept against his shoulder. Jack wondered what she was dreaming about; he contemplated just what was going on behind those eyelids. The year-old had a smattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks, her bow-shaped lips pursed as she slumbered on. Jack slid his hand across her small back, rubbing lightly as if to soothe her, but it was more for his own benefit than hers. He continued to tread up to the top of the hill, his great coat swishing around his feet as he walked.
Earlier in the day, he’d caught her opening the drawers of his desk. She was too young to actually be looking for something, but she was opening them to open them. She had a concentrated look on her face, standing there in her little skirt and tee shirt. It had reminded him so much of Ianto. “And what are you looking for, little lady?” he had asked her, wearing a bemused smile. She looked up at him, blue eyes wide in the deer-in-headlights look. He walked over and picked her up, which caused her to giggle madly. She had those dimples, those eyes and it was almost painful to look at her - just the similarities between this baby and Ianto were almost too much to bear.
But he knew with Gwen raising her, he knew what kind of woman she would become. And if he was honest to himself, this child was the real reason he came back. Jack had known about Gwen’s relationship with Ianto and when they’d found out she was pregnant, he knew that he and Ianto would protect her with their lives. Ianto gave his and Jack sacrificed his own family to keep Gwen, her baby and the lives of every child on Earth safe. It was an action that had driven him away - from facing himself, his own fears and the man he’d become. He was out of control, he was unable to stop himself, so he had to find another life somewhere else.
However, that didn’t work so well. He was looking for another life, when it was right where he’d started out all along. When she had that baby, her parentage brought him back. Jack needed to be there for that child as much as Gwen would allow him to be. He hadn’t been given the chance with his own daughter and probably never would again, so he felt as if this was his responsibility. He still felt that Ianto’s death was his fault, so this was his redemption.
Jack knew that these moments he would remember forever - and in the event if he saw Ianto again, he could tell him all about the little girl that bore his name, had his eyes and his personality; he felt that this was Ianto’s last gift to the world. She certainly had been his saving grace. He had been there for her first words, first steps and he would be there for her prom, her graduation, her marriage, the birth of her children, her successes, her failures - being there for her whole life, protecting the Earth to keep her safe was his only job now. He wouldn’t fail her like he felt he’d failed her father. She would have a normal life, she would have every opportunity and every door opened for her when she wanted. He owed her; he owed Gwen; he owed Ianto.
Jack knew the girl was too young to know her father, but Jack was determined to talk about him and teach her as best that he could. Ianto’s sister would often help in this process, showing the baby pictures of young man - “Look, this is your tad, love.” - and she’d press her palm to the picture and go, “Tad!” Jack knew kids were smarter than people gave them credit for. Jack just wanted the baby to know Ianto, even if the young man never got to know her.
He stood at the top of the hill, with an amazing view of Cardiff down below. He looked up at the stars, the little smatterings of light spread out across the navy of the sky. Jack turned his eyes down towards the little girl, whose blue eyes were looking up into his own. She had her thumb in her mouth and he motioned towards the sky. “Look up there, darling,” he said quietly, and she turned her little face towards where he was pointing. “You know what’s up there?” he asked her.
She turned her eyes to consider him. Jack smiled, hiking her up a little so that she was more comfortable in his arms. “Your tad is up there.”
The baby considered him seriously before looking back up at the sky. Jack watched her for a minute as she considered above her. She finally smiled and moved her hand as she waved towards the sky.
This made the man smile. And he reached for her little hand, bringing it to his lips and kissed it, a little overcome with emotion at that. Children were always so underestimated. Jack regretted what he had to do to Steven, regretted that Ianto sacrificed his own life - but this was what for. They gave their lives so this little girl could live on and have a future; so the children of today could go on and change the rules, change the mistakes that had been made during the years previous. Jack believed in them.
As Jack walked down the hill, the little girl against his hip, she waved at the sky again. “Bye-bye Tad.”