(no subject)
Ahhh another sleepless night. Im at steves, hes play city of heroes, im doing graphic work and talking to people... i have alot i wanna post, but ill wait til i get home i suppose? Im gonna try to commit to a journal, it'd be good for me i think. I hate pop punk now-a-days. Keep the bottles down, and suffice.
Im so lonely i am considering getting caught my the police just for the company.
Considering finding a whore, and paying her just to feel her skin.
Considering getting in a car crash, just to meet the victim,
and considering writing you a letter, just to let you know:
..im still here.
But we all know that those letters will never get sent.
The mind breaks down over time.
The economy doubles in size.
The body dissolves, and rots away.
Newborn babies crack from work related stress.
And now Christ himself would cringe at the sight of your scars.
Its a cold cold world,
Warmed though arson and emo songs,
Lets set it ablaze..
I look at the cross,
And i look away,
Give me the gun,
To blow me away.
[Flame On]
I donno, i could post it now... but im bored. Im waiting to go get breakfast... or... anything i guess. Deftones will do for now... i havent listened to them in ages. I apparently am getting fired from Chamomille? Says Joe said Colin said Barry, i am not sure why, but i am. I may get a job at Hot Topic, just for the social manner of it all. Plus the music, and uniform... i figure it not half bad. Plus the guy there said they were looking for a "scene'ster applicant for the pop-punk emo girls to awe at" Toying with young girls hearts for commerical profits...thats Josh alright. Anyway...maybe i wont take the job. However, i will need a Job eventually...
I actually sort of cant wait for school to start, i mean, aside from homework and tests and stuff like that? I donno, i sorta like going to school. You learn, your around all your friends, you usually have alone time from your life there... My school isnt my life. you all know that, so its almost an escape. Except im still with myself, probably the one person i shouldnt be around any longer. Lately ive been thinking alot about religion, and politics, and revolution. More so than usual, i donno why. I forgot for a while and lsot track of it all, but it made me really angry to hear i was called scene emo. I hate that shit. I think its just my hair... kause i have long black bangs in my eyes. Fucking ...nonsense. Better to be scene emo than a pouser? I think not. i am NOT scene emo, and if i were, it'd be my style of clothing that differs the two. The fact is that i AM emo, but certainly not scene emo. Lately ive been listening to alot of Neva Dinova and Phil Ochs, my favorite artists are Elvis Costello, Tom Waits, The Cure, The Alkaline Trio, Hot Water Music, Lawrence Arms, theres alotta screamo too, theres alotta music i like. Alots country, alots folk, alots metal, and alots pop punk. Then theres some thats like DMB, or other bands like Phish or jam bands, i have alotta Pink Floyd, Alotta against me, bright eyes, blink182, against me. Theres alot. Im NOT scene though. The scene sucks my ass, and id never get alot with the scene'sters anyway. Im way too fed up and aggrivated with bullshit. I think calling me "scene" emo kause of my hair is stupit, and sorta... demeening. But whatever. He said he meant no offense, I sorta understood. But it was just a stupid stupid comment. i mean... Wtf.
Also, today i went to boston with Joe via a car ride, and my father told us there was a tour for Berklee college of music, which by the way there wasnt. SO! we bought coffee, and watched the berklee kids play thier switchfoot and 311 covers, and we drove home. Car rides for bad backs and mental health holidays. I need blood sometime soon, my bodys not really working without it. I can feel its absense in my system and i am very weak, and exhausted.
I had a dream the other night, with an angel in it. She came to me and she said: Jimmy, oh jimmy... what are you so afraid of? You know now, that everythings fine. Try and look up to the sky."
I did just that, my eyes burnt and i woke up with a headache.
I had a dream last night, with a devel in it. She said your hopeless, and disillusioned, if you had any idea the failure you soon will endue, youd quit now. Your songs are meaningless, and they will always be shit.
I told the devel, that my songs were the best i had, and that its simple all i had to give. If it wasnt enough i told her, then ill try harder, and you can tell me next time i fall asleep.
She then fed on me.
I woke up, dissapointed in the fact that my dream ended so abruptly. The bite was only foreplay, i tried to convince myself.
But it was too late, i was awake.
I havent slept since, i fear the Devels answer.
The stars bled the thickest blood last moon:
The blood filled the oceans scarlet,
And ended controversy over Heaven, let alone
Hell.
Im so lonely i am considering getting caught my the police just for the company.
Considering finding a whore, and paying her just to feel her skin.
Considering getting in a car crash, just to meet the victim,
and considering writing you a letter, just to let you know:
..im still here.
But we all know that those letters will never get sent.
The mind breaks down over time.
The economy doubles in size.
The body dissolves, and rots away.
Newborn babies crack from work related stress.
And now Christ himself would cringe at the sight of your scars.
Its a cold cold world,
Warmed though arson and emo songs,
Lets set it ablaze..
I look at the cross,
And i look away,
Give me the gun,
To blow me away.
[Flame On]
I donno, i could post it now... but im bored. Im waiting to go get breakfast... or... anything i guess. Deftones will do for now... i havent listened to them in ages. I apparently am getting fired from Chamomille? Says Joe said Colin said Barry, i am not sure why, but i am. I may get a job at Hot Topic, just for the social manner of it all. Plus the music, and uniform... i figure it not half bad. Plus the guy there said they were looking for a "scene'ster applicant for the pop-punk emo girls to awe at" Toying with young girls hearts for commerical profits...thats Josh alright. Anyway...maybe i wont take the job. However, i will need a Job eventually...
I actually sort of cant wait for school to start, i mean, aside from homework and tests and stuff like that? I donno, i sorta like going to school. You learn, your around all your friends, you usually have alone time from your life there... My school isnt my life. you all know that, so its almost an escape. Except im still with myself, probably the one person i shouldnt be around any longer. Lately ive been thinking alot about religion, and politics, and revolution. More so than usual, i donno why. I forgot for a while and lsot track of it all, but it made me really angry to hear i was called scene emo. I hate that shit. I think its just my hair... kause i have long black bangs in my eyes. Fucking ...nonsense. Better to be scene emo than a pouser? I think not. i am NOT scene emo, and if i were, it'd be my style of clothing that differs the two. The fact is that i AM emo, but certainly not scene emo. Lately ive been listening to alot of Neva Dinova and Phil Ochs, my favorite artists are Elvis Costello, Tom Waits, The Cure, The Alkaline Trio, Hot Water Music, Lawrence Arms, theres alotta screamo too, theres alotta music i like. Alots country, alots folk, alots metal, and alots pop punk. Then theres some thats like DMB, or other bands like Phish or jam bands, i have alotta Pink Floyd, Alotta against me, bright eyes, blink182, against me. Theres alot. Im NOT scene though. The scene sucks my ass, and id never get alot with the scene'sters anyway. Im way too fed up and aggrivated with bullshit. I think calling me "scene" emo kause of my hair is stupit, and sorta... demeening. But whatever. He said he meant no offense, I sorta understood. But it was just a stupid stupid comment. i mean... Wtf.
Also, today i went to boston with Joe via a car ride, and my father told us there was a tour for Berklee college of music, which by the way there wasnt. SO! we bought coffee, and watched the berklee kids play thier switchfoot and 311 covers, and we drove home. Car rides for bad backs and mental health holidays. I need blood sometime soon, my bodys not really working without it. I can feel its absense in my system and i am very weak, and exhausted.
I had a dream the other night, with an angel in it. She came to me and she said: Jimmy, oh jimmy... what are you so afraid of? You know now, that everythings fine. Try and look up to the sky."
I did just that, my eyes burnt and i woke up with a headache.
I had a dream last night, with a devel in it. She said your hopeless, and disillusioned, if you had any idea the failure you soon will endue, youd quit now. Your songs are meaningless, and they will always be shit.
I told the devel, that my songs were the best i had, and that its simple all i had to give. If it wasnt enough i told her, then ill try harder, and you can tell me next time i fall asleep.
She then fed on me.
I woke up, dissapointed in the fact that my dream ended so abruptly. The bite was only foreplay, i tried to convince myself.
But it was too late, i was awake.
I havent slept since, i fear the Devels answer.
The stars bled the thickest blood last moon:
The blood filled the oceans scarlet,
And ended controversy over Heaven, let alone
Hell.