(no subject)
Mmm. I knew this displacement was coming. This sense at doing exactly the wrong thing at this point in my life and trying to reconcile it. Of being irresponsible and trying to grow up and in the process feeling like I'm not doing anything right. Of getting in fights with Tab because she's already passed this stage and is trying to help, but it coming off as telling me I have no work ethic or respect for my employers. Taking a sick day yesterday when I wasn't sick because it had been 17 days without a day off and every time I got to work I wanted to just walk out and go home and sleep. Knowing I'm whining and unreasonable and spoiled yet feeling that I do have some justification for the way I'm acting. Feeling constantly, constantly inadequate and that inspiring a I-don't-give-a-damn-then attitude which I don't show at work but comes out at home.
Jesus.
Jesus.