Make something out of yourself, in any way that you can.

[exgrl]

I am bothered that I have to reserve my affection towards my own partner. For lack of a better word, it "sucks". It "sucks" because it should just come natural and unfortunately, it doesn't anymore. Maybe because I fear the rejection, especially from him. Imagine holding back on showing how you feel about a person... imagine hesitating on kissing them, for example, just because you don't know if they'll kiss you back. It's not fair. I wouldn't want someone that I'm with to feel that way either. I want them to feel comfortable in showing their affection towards me; whether or not I'm in the mood, I have to reciprocate because I am a part of that affection. And that affection is only reserved for me (and vice versa). It's not something you share with anyone else. You can hold hands with anybody, but what you share/do with your partner is special... it only belongs to your relationship.

It's like I'm not wanted sometimes. It's just not fair. To me and to you. To you, because I can't help but hold back on what I really want to do in fear of the outcome.