another night, another pomegranate, in vino veritas
well I've managed yet again to not post anything about New Years eve, or my New Years Revolutions, but that shall be forthcomming.
for all the people I've just added to my lj (did a search for INTJ-ers and communities, ended up on various tangents) if I didn't leave you a message to say I added you, sorry I'm tired and it's late and have to work tomorrow, tried to leave one for everyone though. So Welcome to the Weirdness of Me. And weirdness is a promise.
For those who have even been friends of mine on here for a while, welcome. A little bit about me I suppose :
- not overly social, tend to prefer a small number of friends and being able to choose my social encounters and remain in (or feel to be) control of any social situation, with gatherings of friends usually being an exception. This is due to the weirdness of me, which I am just recently discovering is more and more likely to be Asperger's Syndrome. Self diagnosed with the help of much reading and The Aspie Quiz. PTSD due to recent life upheavels and old ones compounded (hurricane, city I lived in being destroyed, on top of various other things) so I can be a bit weirder lately than usual, hoping this works itself out soon.
- love surrealism and dada-ism as much as I love order. However my brain requires a certain balance between them to function or I end up with some bad minor breakdown. This can be a panic attack or just weirdness for several days until balance is achieved again, but the logic of the balance is a mystery to me. I can see some patterns - being a stickler for organisation and cleanliness (even if I don't always keep up with it)
- musician, composer, writer, graphic designer, computer programmer, poet, eternal student, pseudo-artist, transhumanist (with a severe dislike of humans oddly enough), studying old Germanic and Norse cultures (languages, religions, social structures, etc), absintheur, student of the esoteric, aspiring alchemist, currently working on learning German, on somewhat of a 'pilgrimage' trying to discover something, full fledged geek, lover of ancient history and languages, histoical lingustics/sociolinuistics, Dr. Who, lo-fi music, media theory, calorie restriction practitioner and a member of the CR Society (www.calorierestriction.org), have an irration love of the following : harpsichords, the 1920's, 1920's clothing, androgeny, silent films, old moving picture cameras (hand cranked), electronic components, old electronics (love old atari 2600's and commadore 64's), fire, cold weather, autumn, music (30 days worth in iTunes), robots, nanotechnology, snarky people, bookmaking... Is also an unashamed bibliophile. Snarky and blunt at times. Eternal student, always seeking to learn more. Fire artist (poi, staff, and more).
hmmm.... inlcuding the people already on my friends list I'll do this, as I've seen it on other journals: ask any 6 questions and I'll answer them completely honostly with the exception of a few things. I may make the reply only visible to you, but hey it's answered at least.
Getting too long. Tonight sat on the porch for a while eating a pomegranate, drinking mead. Pomegranates have a special meaning for me that go back to 97 or so, just a personal association that always pulls on my human bits with reminiscence. Sort of a mental masochism and good feeling at the same time. Talked to FEMA again, need to send in stuff for rental assistance and still can't get a straight answer on why I'm getting fucked over on the initial rental assistance among other things while my roommate/ex is getting the full thing and still has an apartment from pre-hurricane and a job from pre-hurricane. A bit confusing and not making me happy.
Off to bed, need to sleep tonight. Well off to read and fight insomnia and read Germanic Heathenry. Was working on a Java program earlier tonight but the compiler/JVM are giving me problems they shouldn't be. Also up to level 8 sorceress on Diablo II, just killed Blood Raven. I have really weak weapons and armour, but socketed so it makes no sense to get rid of them since they work so well, unless I can find some jewels to put into other socketed items to make up for what these provide. I also have a minion.
Music of the mood :
Another night down on the catherine wheel
Drawn into a corner
A symphony of resounding shrieks in my head
I court a sure, sudden death
But give no quarter
A paper soul tears the heart from the mind
Searing is the morning, a tenement of lights
Lost inside the attic
On the floor again with a head full of rain
Wander with the shadows of shelter and smiles
Bleeding in a stairwell
Fever-staggered steps and a mouth so dry
Three liquid words collapse
Blind and chasing sirens
Five years of night time and a heart made of tin
Allow your sympathies the length of a table
I recognize no brother
Lash out at their smiles and walk in through their eyes
As my knowledge, does the knowing
Split my being from past days
In decision, in departing
In the severance of old ways
With precision, in my silence
I perceive the bitter still
Imposition, these young calling
Withered kisses, or the kill?
Together we stand
We stand so still
Indifference, hollow laughter
Bathes the walls of this lost home
So futile, all attempts
Affectations, long to roam
Ever spinning, vile actress
Answered blindly to the call
The price, child yet again we sit
And watch our private rome fall
I am not well
No, not well at all
Tschüß!
for all the people I've just added to my lj (did a search for INTJ-ers and communities, ended up on various tangents) if I didn't leave you a message to say I added you, sorry I'm tired and it's late and have to work tomorrow, tried to leave one for everyone though. So Welcome to the Weirdness of Me. And weirdness is a promise.
For those who have even been friends of mine on here for a while, welcome. A little bit about me I suppose :
- not overly social, tend to prefer a small number of friends and being able to choose my social encounters and remain in (or feel to be) control of any social situation, with gatherings of friends usually being an exception. This is due to the weirdness of me, which I am just recently discovering is more and more likely to be Asperger's Syndrome. Self diagnosed with the help of much reading and The Aspie Quiz. PTSD due to recent life upheavels and old ones compounded (hurricane, city I lived in being destroyed, on top of various other things) so I can be a bit weirder lately than usual, hoping this works itself out soon.
- love surrealism and dada-ism as much as I love order. However my brain requires a certain balance between them to function or I end up with some bad minor breakdown. This can be a panic attack or just weirdness for several days until balance is achieved again, but the logic of the balance is a mystery to me. I can see some patterns - being a stickler for organisation and cleanliness (even if I don't always keep up with it)
- musician, composer, writer, graphic designer, computer programmer, poet, eternal student, pseudo-artist, transhumanist (with a severe dislike of humans oddly enough), studying old Germanic and Norse cultures (languages, religions, social structures, etc), absintheur, student of the esoteric, aspiring alchemist, currently working on learning German, on somewhat of a 'pilgrimage' trying to discover something, full fledged geek, lover of ancient history and languages, histoical lingustics/sociolinuistics, Dr. Who, lo-fi music, media theory, calorie restriction practitioner and a member of the CR Society (www.calorierestriction.org), have an irration love of the following : harpsichords, the 1920's, 1920's clothing, androgeny, silent films, old moving picture cameras (hand cranked), electronic components, old electronics (love old atari 2600's and commadore 64's), fire, cold weather, autumn, music (30 days worth in iTunes), robots, nanotechnology, snarky people, bookmaking... Is also an unashamed bibliophile. Snarky and blunt at times. Eternal student, always seeking to learn more. Fire artist (poi, staff, and more).
hmmm.... inlcuding the people already on my friends list I'll do this, as I've seen it on other journals: ask any 6 questions and I'll answer them completely honostly with the exception of a few things. I may make the reply only visible to you, but hey it's answered at least.
Getting too long. Tonight sat on the porch for a while eating a pomegranate, drinking mead. Pomegranates have a special meaning for me that go back to 97 or so, just a personal association that always pulls on my human bits with reminiscence. Sort of a mental masochism and good feeling at the same time. Talked to FEMA again, need to send in stuff for rental assistance and still can't get a straight answer on why I'm getting fucked over on the initial rental assistance among other things while my roommate/ex is getting the full thing and still has an apartment from pre-hurricane and a job from pre-hurricane. A bit confusing and not making me happy.
Off to bed, need to sleep tonight. Well off to read and fight insomnia and read Germanic Heathenry. Was working on a Java program earlier tonight but the compiler/JVM are giving me problems they shouldn't be. Also up to level 8 sorceress on Diablo II, just killed Blood Raven. I have really weak weapons and armour, but socketed so it makes no sense to get rid of them since they work so well, unless I can find some jewels to put into other socketed items to make up for what these provide. I also have a minion.
Music of the mood :
Another night down on the catherine wheel
Drawn into a corner
A symphony of resounding shrieks in my head
I court a sure, sudden death
But give no quarter
A paper soul tears the heart from the mind
Searing is the morning, a tenement of lights
Lost inside the attic
On the floor again with a head full of rain
Wander with the shadows of shelter and smiles
Bleeding in a stairwell
Fever-staggered steps and a mouth so dry
Three liquid words collapse
Blind and chasing sirens
Five years of night time and a heart made of tin
Allow your sympathies the length of a table
I recognize no brother
Lash out at their smiles and walk in through their eyes
As my knowledge, does the knowing
Split my being from past days
In decision, in departing
In the severance of old ways
With precision, in my silence
I perceive the bitter still
Imposition, these young calling
Withered kisses, or the kill?
Together we stand
We stand so still
Indifference, hollow laughter
Bathes the walls of this lost home
So futile, all attempts
Affectations, long to roam
Ever spinning, vile actress
Answered blindly to the call
The price, child yet again we sit
And watch our private rome fall
I am not well
No, not well at all
Tschüß!