Vacancy, chapter one.
Title: Vacancy.
Author: exesandzeroes
Beta: Un-beta'd.
Characters: Jared & Jensen + The usual crew.
Rating/Warnings: MA15+/Angst. Both will probably change chapter-to-chapter.
Word count: 450+ words
Disclaimer: Not real. Fiction. Rub it in why don't you.
A/N: Went to write the second half of my first fic but ended up with this. Hopefully get my other one done soon.
Summary: Jensen is tired of waiting. Maybe he should just give up.
Jensen let the tears fall onto his pillow. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do otherwise. This happened every so often when he felt emotionally overwhelmed.
He was lonely and it was as simple as that. Curling on his right side he reached to the other half of his bed, unoccupied, as he knew it would be. He imagined heartbeats and body heat under his resting hand, their hand reaching out to him, a gentle thumb rubbing over his cheekbone, a private, whispered declaration of love and his smile in the darkness that Jensen couldn’t see but knew was there.
He didn’t know who he imagined there, they were faceless but love in their eyes all the same. The colours changed, as long as the love was there it didn’t matter to Jensen. In his mind, there was a strong man, dignified and handsome, sharing his bed. There were very rarely thoughts of sex, Jensen was a man in his prime who had his urges and he took good care of them- one or two hollow orgasms a day. They didn’t have any influence on his loneliness.
No. In his fantasies he never really made love, just felt like he was a part of someone who wanted him unconditionally. They would take care of each other and love each other. When the emptiness by his side became too much he rolled to his left side and scooted to the edge of the bed with his front teetering on the edge, shunning and trying to get away from the void.
It had been a while since anyone had shown him any interest. A blind date here, a passing look there but none of them were what he was looking for. He wondered if he had been too picky with them and had even given them a chance. In his dreams this amazing man somehow fell into his life and swept him off his feet. He didn’t meet them in a club or through a friend. He’d tried that and they’d been disastrous.
Unable to either sleep or stay in what had become a cesspool of hope, he walked topless to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Aside from the red eyes and the violent blush in his cheeks from crying, he could see he wasn’t unattractive, his body in relatively good condition, it was kind of a prerequisite for being an actor. He’d seen much worse get much better. He raised his left arm and smelt his armpit, it didn’t seem like he had BO.
Was there some club where the good men went and traded ideas on to avoid him? He decided he was being melodramatic and went back to bed.The tears were still falling as he resumed his last position and cried himself to asleep.
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What did ya'll think? Constructive please :)
Author: exesandzeroes
Beta: Un-beta'd.
Characters: Jared & Jensen + The usual crew.
Rating/Warnings: MA15+/Angst. Both will probably change chapter-to-chapter.
Word count: 450+ words
Disclaimer: Not real. Fiction. Rub it in why don't you.
A/N: Went to write the second half of my first fic but ended up with this. Hopefully get my other one done soon.
Summary: Jensen is tired of waiting. Maybe he should just give up.
Jensen let the tears fall onto his pillow. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do otherwise. This happened every so often when he felt emotionally overwhelmed.
He was lonely and it was as simple as that. Curling on his right side he reached to the other half of his bed, unoccupied, as he knew it would be. He imagined heartbeats and body heat under his resting hand, their hand reaching out to him, a gentle thumb rubbing over his cheekbone, a private, whispered declaration of love and his smile in the darkness that Jensen couldn’t see but knew was there.
He didn’t know who he imagined there, they were faceless but love in their eyes all the same. The colours changed, as long as the love was there it didn’t matter to Jensen. In his mind, there was a strong man, dignified and handsome, sharing his bed. There were very rarely thoughts of sex, Jensen was a man in his prime who had his urges and he took good care of them- one or two hollow orgasms a day. They didn’t have any influence on his loneliness.
No. In his fantasies he never really made love, just felt like he was a part of someone who wanted him unconditionally. They would take care of each other and love each other. When the emptiness by his side became too much he rolled to his left side and scooted to the edge of the bed with his front teetering on the edge, shunning and trying to get away from the void.
It had been a while since anyone had shown him any interest. A blind date here, a passing look there but none of them were what he was looking for. He wondered if he had been too picky with them and had even given them a chance. In his dreams this amazing man somehow fell into his life and swept him off his feet. He didn’t meet them in a club or through a friend. He’d tried that and they’d been disastrous.
Unable to either sleep or stay in what had become a cesspool of hope, he walked topless to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Aside from the red eyes and the violent blush in his cheeks from crying, he could see he wasn’t unattractive, his body in relatively good condition, it was kind of a prerequisite for being an actor. He’d seen much worse get much better. He raised his left arm and smelt his armpit, it didn’t seem like he had BO.
Was there some club where the good men went and traded ideas on to avoid him? He decided he was being melodramatic and went back to bed.The tears were still falling as he resumed his last position and cried himself to asleep.
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What did ya'll think? Constructive please :)