Firefly Fic: ANOTHER FORKING ROAD Jayne/Saffron, PG-13
What if Saffron's first move had been to neutralize Jayne (or try to?)
Inara drew me over and started on whisperin' to me. Not that I minded havin' an excuse to stand up near to her. It always put an extra sparkle in her eyes when she was settin' up something to make Mal look like a real dipshit, for his own good of course. But she wasn't tellin' me nothin' I didn't already know. Mal might have been born yesterday, givin' that little gal all that Bemoan de Savoir crap, but I wasn't.
And of course I could tell that that little gal was right within earshot when I offered to trade Vera for her. Might have done it anyway, I was always real partial to redheads. Spitfires. A man's a fool if he turns down a bowl of pinto beans when his belly's empty, but God bless the child that's got his own bottle of Tabasco sauce to perk it up. She snuck off before she heard the end, so she didn't know it was more of a lease. A short-term lease, like some hostelries that have gotten my business over the years.
I like to think that she started in on me first 'cause I was the biggest threat, had to get me neutralized. So when she came into my bunk, I looked on over at the clock and then sat her down on my knee. I asked her if back there in the maiden's house they taught her 'bout how it is between husband and wife, and she gave me a right pretty speech on that theme.
Well, I ain't as dumb as some folks think, and good thing too or I'd have to carry 'round a paper of breathin' instructions and not be able to read it anyways. I knew what she was up to and I surely know the smell of Good Night Kiss. I told her where I come from, you don't get to kiss a gal, even your own wife, if you ain't in a state of Grace and have a note from your preacher and all. Couldn't bad-mouth Organized Religion, not with the short con she was workin' so she had to play along.
Later on I asked the Shepherd about the morals of the thing. I mean, I never force a gal to do nothin' she ain't willin', 'cause there's plenty as is willin' and I can wait that long, what with my size and looks and all, that long ain't. He said it was a pretty problem in ethics, but it was probably OK for me to play up to what she said even though zero percent of us believed it.
Wash always left the commlink on in the cockpit, in case River had a question when she was spellin' him, so we heard that call that Saffron made. I was supposed to keep her busy for an hour, but a man like me always goes the extra mile when he's bein' a Good Samaritan, so I ran the reel out to an hour and a half, so my crew could take care of their work.
Oh, she earned the right, but if I'd been there instead of missin' all the fun I would have pointed out what shoulda been the obvious, that Vera was too much gun for Kaylee. Which is just what I said when she came round to my bunk to tell me all about it and give me the names of all the stuff she was able to liberate out of that chop shop (plus a bunch of fuel). Not all of it'd work in a Firefly, of course, but we can sell off the rest. Kaylee was in charge of the loading, while the preacher and me kept an eye on Saffron and her accomplicees. They probably didn't need four eyes what with bein' tied up and all, but they already showed that they was not hardly of the reliable sort.
Zoe thought the whole thing was back to bein' funny when she got put in charge of droppin' them off at the nearest place that had Law and where we wasn't in too much dutch. Wasn't no paper on the girl, so that didn't net us nothin', but there was a tidy reward on the wreckers. Watchin' Mal thank me for makin' it all possible was as good as a play.
Vera's got a kick that not only bruised up Kaylee's shoulder but knocked her flat on that cute round rump, so it's lucky that I've always kept a bottle of arnica in my bunk and still do even after certain fancy pants crawled onto this boat.
Inara drew me over and started on whisperin' to me. Not that I minded havin' an excuse to stand up near to her. It always put an extra sparkle in her eyes when she was settin' up something to make Mal look like a real dipshit, for his own good of course. But she wasn't tellin' me nothin' I didn't already know. Mal might have been born yesterday, givin' that little gal all that Bemoan de Savoir crap, but I wasn't.
And of course I could tell that that little gal was right within earshot when I offered to trade Vera for her. Might have done it anyway, I was always real partial to redheads. Spitfires. A man's a fool if he turns down a bowl of pinto beans when his belly's empty, but God bless the child that's got his own bottle of Tabasco sauce to perk it up. She snuck off before she heard the end, so she didn't know it was more of a lease. A short-term lease, like some hostelries that have gotten my business over the years.
I like to think that she started in on me first 'cause I was the biggest threat, had to get me neutralized. So when she came into my bunk, I looked on over at the clock and then sat her down on my knee. I asked her if back there in the maiden's house they taught her 'bout how it is between husband and wife, and she gave me a right pretty speech on that theme.
Well, I ain't as dumb as some folks think, and good thing too or I'd have to carry 'round a paper of breathin' instructions and not be able to read it anyways. I knew what she was up to and I surely know the smell of Good Night Kiss. I told her where I come from, you don't get to kiss a gal, even your own wife, if you ain't in a state of Grace and have a note from your preacher and all. Couldn't bad-mouth Organized Religion, not with the short con she was workin' so she had to play along.
Later on I asked the Shepherd about the morals of the thing. I mean, I never force a gal to do nothin' she ain't willin', 'cause there's plenty as is willin' and I can wait that long, what with my size and looks and all, that long ain't. He said it was a pretty problem in ethics, but it was probably OK for me to play up to what she said even though zero percent of us believed it.
Wash always left the commlink on in the cockpit, in case River had a question when she was spellin' him, so we heard that call that Saffron made. I was supposed to keep her busy for an hour, but a man like me always goes the extra mile when he's bein' a Good Samaritan, so I ran the reel out to an hour and a half, so my crew could take care of their work.
Oh, she earned the right, but if I'd been there instead of missin' all the fun I would have pointed out what shoulda been the obvious, that Vera was too much gun for Kaylee. Which is just what I said when she came round to my bunk to tell me all about it and give me the names of all the stuff she was able to liberate out of that chop shop (plus a bunch of fuel). Not all of it'd work in a Firefly, of course, but we can sell off the rest. Kaylee was in charge of the loading, while the preacher and me kept an eye on Saffron and her accomplicees. They probably didn't need four eyes what with bein' tied up and all, but they already showed that they was not hardly of the reliable sort.
Zoe thought the whole thing was back to bein' funny when she got put in charge of droppin' them off at the nearest place that had Law and where we wasn't in too much dutch. Wasn't no paper on the girl, so that didn't net us nothin', but there was a tidy reward on the wreckers. Watchin' Mal thank me for makin' it all possible was as good as a play.
Vera's got a kick that not only bruised up Kaylee's shoulder but knocked her flat on that cute round rump, so it's lucky that I've always kept a bottle of arnica in my bunk and still do even after certain fancy pants crawled onto this boat.