My Nighttime Ritual
I have a ritual I go through almost every night, right before I fall asleep.
No.2 sleeps with me in my bed, so I read a few books to him and wait for him to fall asleep.
I may get some more work done after this, or not, depending on how tired I am by then already.
(BTW, I did exactly the same thing with No.1 when he used to sleep with me.)
When I'm all ready to go to sleep, I gaze at his face for 2-5 minutes, adoring him.
Then I pry my eyes away from his face and start reading whatever book I'm reading at the time
(which happens to be No.1's Encyclopedia for Kids right now :D).
When I'm done with my book, I put it down, turn to No.2, and start gazing at his face again, very up-close, enough to smell his skin and feel his breath on my face.
This can last for 10 minutes or longer.... I think my record time was perhaps close to 1 hour. ^^;
The thoughts that flow through my head are usually always the same.
He is SO adorable. *happy sigh*
How could I have given birth to such a perfect human being?
How did I get so lucky???
*is slightly overwhelmed by the miracle of it all, my heart almost aching with appreciation*
I have a theory that most mothers feel the most love for their children while looking at their sleeping faces.
Looking at No.2's angelic sleeping face makes me feel so calm and utterly happy.
But the happy thoughts and feelings are also almost always marred by unpleasant ones, as well.
I think about global warming, and how much more time we have left on this planet.
I wonder if the existing world as we know it will still be relatively unchanged when he's 10, 15, 20, 30, 40?
What kind of life will he have when the world has been turned upside down for the worse?
How fair is that for him, for all children and animals, the innocent bystanders?
(and it totally doesn't help that I've read The Road by Cormac McCarthy and I have a scientist husband who has seen undeniable and overwhelming evidence of the effects of global warming through scientific presentations.)
I didn't worry about global warming and the end of the world nearly as much before I had children.
I figured that humans deserved to be extinct if it's by our own doing.
That, in the worst case scenario, I'd just die along with everybody else, and that's that.
But when you have children, that all changes.
You want your children to live a long life, hopefully a very happy life.
So, these worries that I always have at the back of my head rush back to the forefront, strangely mixed with the utter bliss and happiness I feel while gazing at No.2.
And I cry sometimes.
Then I kiss him a bunch of times at my favorite spots, which is the corners of his lips.
Quietly giggle as he wrinkles his nose and rubs his face with his hands.
Then I finally turn off my lamp, and join him in his dreamland.
No.2 sleeps with me in my bed, so I read a few books to him and wait for him to fall asleep.
I may get some more work done after this, or not, depending on how tired I am by then already.
(BTW, I did exactly the same thing with No.1 when he used to sleep with me.)
When I'm all ready to go to sleep, I gaze at his face for 2-5 minutes, adoring him.
Then I pry my eyes away from his face and start reading whatever book I'm reading at the time
(which happens to be No.1's Encyclopedia for Kids right now :D).
When I'm done with my book, I put it down, turn to No.2, and start gazing at his face again, very up-close, enough to smell his skin and feel his breath on my face.
This can last for 10 minutes or longer.... I think my record time was perhaps close to 1 hour. ^^;
The thoughts that flow through my head are usually always the same.
He is SO adorable. *happy sigh*
How could I have given birth to such a perfect human being?
How did I get so lucky???
*is slightly overwhelmed by the miracle of it all, my heart almost aching with appreciation*
I have a theory that most mothers feel the most love for their children while looking at their sleeping faces.
Looking at No.2's angelic sleeping face makes me feel so calm and utterly happy.
But the happy thoughts and feelings are also almost always marred by unpleasant ones, as well.
I think about global warming, and how much more time we have left on this planet.
I wonder if the existing world as we know it will still be relatively unchanged when he's 10, 15, 20, 30, 40?
What kind of life will he have when the world has been turned upside down for the worse?
How fair is that for him, for all children and animals, the innocent bystanders?
(and it totally doesn't help that I've read The Road by Cormac McCarthy and I have a scientist husband who has seen undeniable and overwhelming evidence of the effects of global warming through scientific presentations.)
I didn't worry about global warming and the end of the world nearly as much before I had children.
I figured that humans deserved to be extinct if it's by our own doing.
That, in the worst case scenario, I'd just die along with everybody else, and that's that.
But when you have children, that all changes.
You want your children to live a long life, hopefully a very happy life.
So, these worries that I always have at the back of my head rush back to the forefront, strangely mixed with the utter bliss and happiness I feel while gazing at No.2.
And I cry sometimes.
Then I kiss him a bunch of times at my favorite spots, which is the corners of his lips.
Quietly giggle as he wrinkles his nose and rubs his face with his hands.
Then I finally turn off my lamp, and join him in his dreamland.