Little is big
The little things?
The little moments?
They're not that little.
I LIVED for them, I still do.
Last year I had soo much, I was ridiculously lucky/blessed/HAPPY. But it wasn't the status or the hype or anything that I loved so much.
I lived for the 6 minute car rides to school, listening to "I Should Be Sleeping" with Allison and contently contemplating the 4 hours of sleep we just got and why on earth we are getting to school at 6 (the joys of heading Student Government). I remember when an incident occurred and there was an "Immedidate Kraus Emergency" and we got principal-delivered smoothies. I loved making ridiculous "Calculus Test Protest Signs" because the calc parties we'd hosted the night before had been nothing but laughing fits. I loved my safety net of friends and no matter how dumb or stupid or completely hyper I was at the moment I was accepted and it was just considered a stupid little "Ashley-moment". I LOVE all the people that little by little pieced together the most amazing and memorable year of my life thus far. I remember standing on that stage in front of too many people to count and shaking violently while attempting to recall my inspirational speech I had written after a few too many strawberry dacquiris. All the while just feeling so accomplished and able, yet wanting nothing more but to sit nustled against the other 462 class members and just staying there like that, comfortably, with everyone I knew and everyone I had built my life around. It was so hard to leave something so great, but I had to and I will cherish everything for the amazingness it is/was. I loved living at school, I loved making it into my home.
And now I do too. I live at school...literally. It's been the hardest adjustment of my life to make. I'm not an "Ashley and Allison/Allison and Ashley" anymore, in fact few people here even know that I have a counterpart. Without my 18 year old security blanket I had to cannonball into a sea of 50,000 people exactly like me. 50,000 people who lived at their high school and loved the hell out of it too. There's no rule book or direction manual telling you what path to take, you just pave your own. Fall semester I was clueless and lonely, I was not Ashley and it scared me. I felt like I lost me, my identity. This semester I don't know what happened but I'm back. I feel and am HAPPY. I love my Allison and miss her, but I found that without her I still am a person too.
I love UF more and more by the day, I am so excited to see what the future may bring but in the meantime I am focusing on today and LOVING the ride. And along the way, if I bleed, you bet it's orange and blue.
My life is like the crazy Florida weather, it may get cold... but sooner or later it will always start warming back up.
The little moments?
They're not that little.
I LIVED for them, I still do.
Last year I had soo much, I was ridiculously lucky/blessed/HAPPY. But it wasn't the status or the hype or anything that I loved so much.
I lived for the 6 minute car rides to school, listening to "I Should Be Sleeping" with Allison and contently contemplating the 4 hours of sleep we just got and why on earth we are getting to school at 6 (the joys of heading Student Government). I remember when an incident occurred and there was an "Immedidate Kraus Emergency" and we got principal-delivered smoothies. I loved making ridiculous "Calculus Test Protest Signs" because the calc parties we'd hosted the night before had been nothing but laughing fits. I loved my safety net of friends and no matter how dumb or stupid or completely hyper I was at the moment I was accepted and it was just considered a stupid little "Ashley-moment". I LOVE all the people that little by little pieced together the most amazing and memorable year of my life thus far. I remember standing on that stage in front of too many people to count and shaking violently while attempting to recall my inspirational speech I had written after a few too many strawberry dacquiris. All the while just feeling so accomplished and able, yet wanting nothing more but to sit nustled against the other 462 class members and just staying there like that, comfortably, with everyone I knew and everyone I had built my life around. It was so hard to leave something so great, but I had to and I will cherish everything for the amazingness it is/was. I loved living at school, I loved making it into my home.
And now I do too. I live at school...literally. It's been the hardest adjustment of my life to make. I'm not an "Ashley and Allison/Allison and Ashley" anymore, in fact few people here even know that I have a counterpart. Without my 18 year old security blanket I had to cannonball into a sea of 50,000 people exactly like me. 50,000 people who lived at their high school and loved the hell out of it too. There's no rule book or direction manual telling you what path to take, you just pave your own. Fall semester I was clueless and lonely, I was not Ashley and it scared me. I felt like I lost me, my identity. This semester I don't know what happened but I'm back. I feel and am HAPPY. I love my Allison and miss her, but I found that without her I still am a person too.
I love UF more and more by the day, I am so excited to see what the future may bring but in the meantime I am focusing on today and LOVING the ride. And along the way, if I bleed, you bet it's orange and blue.
My life is like the crazy Florida weather, it may get cold... but sooner or later it will always start warming back up.