today...
was a sad day...
i woke up to jennas innocent little voice outside my doot..."wanna get baked?" she said...i thought about just staying in bed...but i mean, come on, you can say no to a cute girl asking to get baked haha.
we sat around downstairs for a bit, had some food, watched tv...and of course, smoked.
then we went over to Rachels and chilled there while she painstakingly finished her paper she had to do for school.
all day i was in a wierd funk cuz i knew this was Jennas last full day with us in Mass. id forget for a while...but then itd hit me...and id get sad.
later in the afternoon we all went to the kingston mall. while in the Hallmark store the girls were going on and on about how guys dont "get" lovey stuff...kinda ticked me off...and at the same time it was depressing as all hell. so i left...im so tired of fighting for my point of view, that not all men are morons...i try to live off my emotions as much as possible, but im a guy...its not my fault guys are biologicaly ready for sex at all times...it doesnt take the same kind of initiatives it takes for women...they need to be in the right mood and there needs to be a connection...guys are just physically different...we dont need the emotions to be there for a physical interest in a girl....BUT, that doesnt mean we are careless, and unthinking machines...or, well i know im not...yet because i have a dick i cant seem to get it across...its like i was born handicapped or something, no matter how hard i try, it doesnt seem to matter...im a guy...so therefore im only out to fuck and forget...when in reality, im lookin for the exact opposite of that...
so anyway, it was this gross generalization that got to me...so i left the store...i was close to tears because i felt so shitty...rachel and jenna could tell something was up...but i didnt say anything about it till now. i dont mind them knowing how i feel...but in person, if i were to say something about it id have to defend my ground...and im sick of trying to get people (women) to understand that a man is so much more complicated then anyone ever gives them credit for.
we're just the laxy, beer drinking, never scincere, lying boys to them...and they dont seem to care to hear otherwise...
im not mad, im mostly depressed as shit...but theres nothing i can do...and i guess that will have to suffice.
i woke up to jennas innocent little voice outside my doot..."wanna get baked?" she said...i thought about just staying in bed...but i mean, come on, you can say no to a cute girl asking to get baked haha.
we sat around downstairs for a bit, had some food, watched tv...and of course, smoked.
then we went over to Rachels and chilled there while she painstakingly finished her paper she had to do for school.
all day i was in a wierd funk cuz i knew this was Jennas last full day with us in Mass. id forget for a while...but then itd hit me...and id get sad.
later in the afternoon we all went to the kingston mall. while in the Hallmark store the girls were going on and on about how guys dont "get" lovey stuff...kinda ticked me off...and at the same time it was depressing as all hell. so i left...im so tired of fighting for my point of view, that not all men are morons...i try to live off my emotions as much as possible, but im a guy...its not my fault guys are biologicaly ready for sex at all times...it doesnt take the same kind of initiatives it takes for women...they need to be in the right mood and there needs to be a connection...guys are just physically different...we dont need the emotions to be there for a physical interest in a girl....BUT, that doesnt mean we are careless, and unthinking machines...or, well i know im not...yet because i have a dick i cant seem to get it across...its like i was born handicapped or something, no matter how hard i try, it doesnt seem to matter...im a guy...so therefore im only out to fuck and forget...when in reality, im lookin for the exact opposite of that...
so anyway, it was this gross generalization that got to me...so i left the store...i was close to tears because i felt so shitty...rachel and jenna could tell something was up...but i didnt say anything about it till now. i dont mind them knowing how i feel...but in person, if i were to say something about it id have to defend my ground...and im sick of trying to get people (women) to understand that a man is so much more complicated then anyone ever gives them credit for.
we're just the laxy, beer drinking, never scincere, lying boys to them...and they dont seem to care to hear otherwise...
im not mad, im mostly depressed as shit...but theres nothing i can do...and i guess that will have to suffice.