I like this. It is, I feel, a very accurate depiction of the process of grieving. When people experience the loss of a person close to them, it can alter their perception of and reaction to reality -- in my experience, it's quite common for that to mean obsessing over trivialities, or thinking about one's present circumstances in a way that might seem silly, disrespectful, detatched, or in some other way indecent.
I am in the habit, every so often, of skimming through various PostSecret-style communities. Secrets about people's reactions to death come up pretty regularly. I find it sort of sad how so many of the responses tend to be very hostile and scolding or downright flaming -- as if there is one "right" way to respond to death, as if there is some universally normal process of mourning and all deviations from it are clearly indications of sociopathic psychotic assholes.
It can be frustrating how ignorant and self-absorbed some people are.
Reading everybody's comments and thoughts on this is interesting, seeing different perspectives. I'm personally biased towards interpretations that are more the school of "more is said in what is not said" so my view of this poem is that it's one of great underlying sadness.
To me, the car is just a cover story. It's really about his grief over his dead wife, and how he's cutting himself off from the rest of the world - his kids, moving on with his life by finding someone else - and the car breaking down is the excuse his sorrow is hiding behind.
Yes... to me this is a poem about the negative space. On the one hand, he seems to want to communicate that in a very practical way, nothing can ever be the same again. It goes beyond grief. (I'm sure if you offered this person a car, he'd find some reason why he can't drive it-- there's too many buttons; the automatic transmission makes it undrivable, etc. There's always a reason).
So many people I know, when they are very upset, communicate this way. I found this quite piercing.
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I like it. :)
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I am in the habit, every so often, of skimming through various PostSecret-style communities. Secrets about people's reactions to death come up pretty regularly. I find it sort of sad how so many of the responses tend to be very hostile and scolding or downright flaming -- as if there is one "right" way to respond to death, as if there is some universally normal process of mourning and all deviations from it are clearly indications of sociopathic psychotic assholes.
It can be frustrating how ignorant and self-absorbed some people are.
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To me, the car is just a cover story. It's really about his grief over his dead wife, and how he's cutting himself off from the rest of the world - his kids, moving on with his life by finding someone else - and the car breaking down is the excuse his sorrow is hiding behind.
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I meant refusing to move on with his life.
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So many people I know, when they are very upset, communicate this way. I found this quite piercing.
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