1724: What The Living Do | Marie Howe

May 22, 2013 00:53

"What The Living Do"
Marie Howe

Johnny, the kitchen sink has been clogged for days, some utensil probably fell down there.
And the Drano won't work but smells dangerous, and the crusty dishes have piled up

waiting for the plumber I still haven't called. This is the everyday we spoke of.
It's winter again: the sky's a deep, headstrong blue, and the sunlight pours through

the open living-room windows because the heat's on too high in here and I can't turn it off.
For weeks now, driving, or dropping a bag of groceries in the street, the bag breaking,

I've been thinking: This is what the living do. And yesterday, hurrying along those
wobbly bricks in the Cambridge sidewalk, spilling my coffee down my wrist and sleeve,

I thought it again, and again later, when buying a hairbrush: This is it.
Parking. Slamming the car door shut in the cold. What you called that yearning.

What you finally gave up. We want the spring to come and the winter to pass. We want
whoever to call or not call, a letter, a kiss--we want more and more and then more of it.

But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,
say, the window of the corner video store, and I'm gripped by a cherishing so deep

for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I'm speechless:
I am living. I remember you.

I would have sworn I had posted this poem years ago, and yet I cannot find it in the archive. My grandmother told me the other day she can't remember her husband's voice anymore. It is still shocking to her every time she realizes that she spent decades with him and loved him terribly and yet she cannot recall the sound of his voice. I'm going to look for old home videos -- maybe somewhere in a basement or closet we have him on tape and she can hear him alive again.

Sing for us whose troubles//are troubles we're lucky to have

marie howe, stephen burt

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