reflection time
Two things I think I’ve known for a long time and have been implementing, but just haven’t been able to articulate before now/two things that I need to re-learn frequently (perhaps developing knowledge is not such a linear process):
1) The Ugly Duckling Trope is very present in my current fandom. It’s literally part of the second protagonist’s story, peripherally. It’s a webcomic but these drawn characters are absurdly good-looking. Even the ones that are supposed to be more average looking are ridiculously hot. I have nearly dropped this fandom because I want to grind my teeth because look, some of us, such as your’s truly, just start out ugly and stay that way forever and why do I have to be reminded of it at every turn?
You know where this is going, don’t you? The reality, which has been so present for so long it has become something familiar, the one that has fallen from my own lips as I’m lecturing my students, suddenly becomes clear to me, even though it’s been sitting in the corner of my house forever: Everyone Thinks They’re the Ugly One and none of us are that objective. That’s why it’s such a trope.
2) Every time I feel the inclination to compare myself to someone, or be jealous of him/her/them, I should instead try to mold it into admiration and inspiration (and perhaps combine forces to maximize mutual awesomeness). Particularly when comparing/measuring myself to other women (as far as the way we look), I will remind myself that my secondary sexuality is bisexuality, so that admiration can turn into enjoying (but not in a creepy, objectifying way).
1) The Ugly Duckling Trope is very present in my current fandom. It’s literally part of the second protagonist’s story, peripherally. It’s a webcomic but these drawn characters are absurdly good-looking. Even the ones that are supposed to be more average looking are ridiculously hot. I have nearly dropped this fandom because I want to grind my teeth because look, some of us, such as your’s truly, just start out ugly and stay that way forever and why do I have to be reminded of it at every turn?
You know where this is going, don’t you? The reality, which has been so present for so long it has become something familiar, the one that has fallen from my own lips as I’m lecturing my students, suddenly becomes clear to me, even though it’s been sitting in the corner of my house forever: Everyone Thinks They’re the Ugly One and none of us are that objective. That’s why it’s such a trope.
2) Every time I feel the inclination to compare myself to someone, or be jealous of him/her/them, I should instead try to mold it into admiration and inspiration (and perhaps combine forces to maximize mutual awesomeness). Particularly when comparing/measuring myself to other women (as far as the way we look), I will remind myself that my secondary sexuality is bisexuality, so that admiration can turn into enjoying (but not in a creepy, objectifying way).