OVERKILL
Hi, my name's exangeline and I have a serious problem.
I can never, ever, nee-hever finish what I write. Besides a one-shot or two, I have abandoned every major writing project I have written for the majority of my short-lived existence. Why? I don't know, because there are too many plot-holes? Because I'm chronically lazy? Because I've fallen out of love with the fandom? Because real life is a bitch sometimes (okay, all the time)? Because now that I have a boyfriend I find I'm spending most of my time with him? Because I don't feel like anybody is reading so why the hell should I bother?
There are so many reasons. The thing is, they're all just excuses. Oh, sure, they really happen - every frakking day - and when I say it to someone it's nothing but the truth, but it's still an excuse. It's still a declaration of "oh, I give up".
When the going gets hard, exangeline gets going. That's what my motto should be.
But enough self-pity. That's not what this is for.
I haven't written a proper post to this LJ since I created it. I didn't know what to write, to be honest. I don't know if anybody will ever stumble across this and, if they do, if they'll even let me know that they have. But that's okay, because this time I'm not doing it for them, or for you, or for comments and reviews and all the nice little things. I'm doing it for me.
So here it is, just to get it out there:
I will be finishing My Trigger.
I will also be finishing my anonymous works, including I'll Be Your Window (And You'll Rise), Vexed to Nightmare, X-Amount of Words, You Cut So Deep My Belief Is Gone and many, many more.
Hell, I'll even write My Trigger's sequel, My Sharpshooter, and the other stories in the collection. I want to be proud of something I write, for once. Without any ulterior moties, methods or actions.
2012 is the year that I wipe the slate clean of all of my silly, incoherent problems. It may be a few months before the next update, but it's on its way.
I've blamed so much shit on writers block.
Never again.
- Exangeline (11:51PM, 10/1/2012)