feeling feverish...another sleepless night of karin
so ... another night of no sleep has come upon me,and i guess its my fault for sleeping this afternoon...actually i dont remember i if i slept or not, but i remember having a dream, but maybe i was only day dreaming... i think i have grown a tolerance to tylenol pm...because i took some at 9 and im still not out... its driving me insane...and maybe thats my fault again for taking it with diet coke, i think my body is confused .... it doesnt know whether to work with the caffine or the tylenol pm... so im just drowsy, but i cant stop thinking ... i think the most random things too....
actually college has been on my mind alot alot lately...picking schools is a tough choices, especially since i feel all this pressure on me ... i never expected the schools i wanted to all accept me, because im retarded... or maybe im not as retarded as i think .... or it could just be that these schools want to lift thier hispanic quota... well whatever
i didnt go to school today cause i woke up feeling worse than i have felt all weekend, its why i didnt go out on saturday night, or sunday afternoon... i got invites for both... my theory is vlad gave me tuberculosis (im kidding) ... but yeah im sick
i will go to school tommorow cause i hate missing stat... mostly cause i hate doing make up work
i might go home after 5th or 6th if i get the ok from my m om... even though it doesnt matter cause i have age of majority anyway ...
i am currently looking for scholarships... its such a hassle, finding one you qualify for, then checking if the deadline has passed, then checking if it applies to your area ... and then like, checking to see if it requires a specific major... how annoying
a few days ago i was mad, but now i kind of am leaning towards towson... i just dont want to run into the same people there... i want to start new ... brand new
its wierd, people complain that like they are worthless to people, but then those people really dont think they are worthless at all, instead that person actually means alot to them, they just fail to see it.... but in my case, i dont think that... i think that i mean alot to certain people, and then later i come to find out that iam nothing to them, not even worth thier time... no this isnt another depressed karin schpeel, its just what i notice , what i would give to be the other person ... the person who thinks that no one cares about them but everyone really does... instead of being the person (me) who ends up thinking that i mean alot to people, and then i find out i dont mean anything, and they makeit so obvious too... there are a few people i think that really care about me... but even then i question it, ive been screwed over way to many times ... i dont know, ive been really happy lately... but i just dont want history to repeat itself... like i said, i go looking for love in all the wrong places (its about time that i stop)
i am still in search for a job, so i need to go to milestone to see if they are hiring now... any store in milestone will do, even if its target ...
i am starting to feel feverish again
i hate being sick... when i am sick i am extra moody, and im super sensitive ... so if you ever wanted me to hate you, now is the time to get under my skin ...
i dont know pretty much i cant sleep so im just rambling on... i need to find some scholarships... me and kelly are going to the career center soon... i will probably find some kind of hispanic scholarship...since that would be the only kind id ever meet the critera for...
oh me oh my im so tired, but i cant sleep and that will teach me never to take tylenol pm with a highly caffinated drink... you know what i miss ... i miss feeling a certain way, i dont know how to explain it, but it was like this feeling of having a comfort zone, like no matter what i did i have cushions... it seems since my birthday that all these cushons are gone... and im left kind of taking care of myself...and that scares me alot
i felt wierd writing my own absence note today ... i didnt know whether to write it from me, or write it in the third person like my mom would...but then i thought if i write it in the third person, the attendance woman will think im wierd... its quite the predicament i wrote it in the first person... in my neatest hand writing
today is the first day in the last two months that i havent been hugged... i used to dislike getting random hugs... but now i feel like hugs are my energy source...i need a boy , pererable a tall semi fat one ... so i can squeeze him and hug him and he will be like a big bear...
obviously im tired and i dont know what im talking about
actually college has been on my mind alot alot lately...picking schools is a tough choices, especially since i feel all this pressure on me ... i never expected the schools i wanted to all accept me, because im retarded... or maybe im not as retarded as i think .... or it could just be that these schools want to lift thier hispanic quota... well whatever
i didnt go to school today cause i woke up feeling worse than i have felt all weekend, its why i didnt go out on saturday night, or sunday afternoon... i got invites for both... my theory is vlad gave me tuberculosis (im kidding) ... but yeah im sick
i will go to school tommorow cause i hate missing stat... mostly cause i hate doing make up work
i might go home after 5th or 6th if i get the ok from my m om... even though it doesnt matter cause i have age of majority anyway ...
i am currently looking for scholarships... its such a hassle, finding one you qualify for, then checking if the deadline has passed, then checking if it applies to your area ... and then like, checking to see if it requires a specific major... how annoying
a few days ago i was mad, but now i kind of am leaning towards towson... i just dont want to run into the same people there... i want to start new ... brand new
its wierd, people complain that like they are worthless to people, but then those people really dont think they are worthless at all, instead that person actually means alot to them, they just fail to see it.... but in my case, i dont think that... i think that i mean alot to certain people, and then later i come to find out that iam nothing to them, not even worth thier time... no this isnt another depressed karin schpeel, its just what i notice , what i would give to be the other person ... the person who thinks that no one cares about them but everyone really does... instead of being the person (me) who ends up thinking that i mean alot to people, and then i find out i dont mean anything, and they makeit so obvious too... there are a few people i think that really care about me... but even then i question it, ive been screwed over way to many times ... i dont know, ive been really happy lately... but i just dont want history to repeat itself... like i said, i go looking for love in all the wrong places (its about time that i stop)
i am still in search for a job, so i need to go to milestone to see if they are hiring now... any store in milestone will do, even if its target ...
i am starting to feel feverish again
i hate being sick... when i am sick i am extra moody, and im super sensitive ... so if you ever wanted me to hate you, now is the time to get under my skin ...
i dont know pretty much i cant sleep so im just rambling on... i need to find some scholarships... me and kelly are going to the career center soon... i will probably find some kind of hispanic scholarship...since that would be the only kind id ever meet the critera for...
oh me oh my im so tired, but i cant sleep and that will teach me never to take tylenol pm with a highly caffinated drink... you know what i miss ... i miss feeling a certain way, i dont know how to explain it, but it was like this feeling of having a comfort zone, like no matter what i did i have cushions... it seems since my birthday that all these cushons are gone... and im left kind of taking care of myself...and that scares me alot
i felt wierd writing my own absence note today ... i didnt know whether to write it from me, or write it in the third person like my mom would...but then i thought if i write it in the third person, the attendance woman will think im wierd... its quite the predicament i wrote it in the first person... in my neatest hand writing
today is the first day in the last two months that i havent been hugged... i used to dislike getting random hugs... but now i feel like hugs are my energy source...i need a boy , pererable a tall semi fat one ... so i can squeeze him and hug him and he will be like a big bear...
obviously im tired and i dont know what im talking about