Thinking
[locked]
Orli's agreed to see someone. I'm going to call Janice tonight and leave a message for her. I don't know if I can make an appointment on Orli's behalf, but at least this'll get the ball rolling. I just hope he doesn't change his mind. And it shouldn't be a problem for her to see him since I'm no longer her patient.
I'm worried about him. He's so down on himself, punishing himself for things he's done in the past. I know he's happy with me when he lets himself be, but I'm obviously not enough.
I really hate the people who're making him feel this way. He says it's all him, but I don't know if I believe that.
I'm going to get a drink and then call Peter after I call Janice. I really feel like this is my fault because I proposed. I'm such an idiot. We were so happy and then I had to ruin it. Maybe I should take the ring back and tell him I didn't mean to pressure him and he doesn't have to say yes just because I asked. I'd understand. Both of our marriages were farces underneath it all, so it would make sense to be leery. I just... It felt so right. He looked so happy when I asked him. And when we made love, it was perfect. I'd never felt that connected to him. I thought... I never thought it would end up making him feel like this.
I'm so selfish. I thought he'd want this. Instead, he's preparing me for the day he walks out and leaves me because his ex lovers make him feel guilty for the way things ended with them.
Maybe I shouldn't move to New York just yet. What if I make things worse by being around all the time?
Orli's agreed to see someone. I'm going to call Janice tonight and leave a message for her. I don't know if I can make an appointment on Orli's behalf, but at least this'll get the ball rolling. I just hope he doesn't change his mind. And it shouldn't be a problem for her to see him since I'm no longer her patient.
I'm worried about him. He's so down on himself, punishing himself for things he's done in the past. I know he's happy with me when he lets himself be, but I'm obviously not enough.
I really hate the people who're making him feel this way. He says it's all him, but I don't know if I believe that.
I'm going to get a drink and then call Peter after I call Janice. I really feel like this is my fault because I proposed. I'm such an idiot. We were so happy and then I had to ruin it. Maybe I should take the ring back and tell him I didn't mean to pressure him and he doesn't have to say yes just because I asked. I'd understand. Both of our marriages were farces underneath it all, so it would make sense to be leery. I just... It felt so right. He looked so happy when I asked him. And when we made love, it was perfect. I'd never felt that connected to him. I thought... I never thought it would end up making him feel like this.
I'm so selfish. I thought he'd want this. Instead, he's preparing me for the day he walks out and leaves me because his ex lovers make him feel guilty for the way things ended with them.
Maybe I shouldn't move to New York just yet. What if I make things worse by being around all the time?