on a cliff
i am probably thirty minutes to one hour away from being done with my last assignments. i am taking a break at the moment not for my usual reasons (procrastination) but because i'm at work and i've done everything i can without the stuff i need from my room. i'm fairly exhausted, thinking about all of the implications of turning in this stuff, but time is one of those things you can't always fight.
i've been more confident about work i have turned in before, but hopefully what i've done for tonight isn't too bad. one class has me writing an outline to answer a question, which is so difficult for me. the outlining part is actually optional -- we can in fact use prose if we like, but i enjoy the challenge of trying to fit things into an outline. it's very unenglishmajory and makes me be concise. until i did my first outline for that class i didn't really know just how stupidly wordy i can be sometimes, especially in my academic work. i always wondered why my five pages papers always wound up to be about seven pages long.
it's probably best not to be thinking about things like how i am going to get all my stuff from Virginia to California or how i am going to find a job when i don't know where i will be living and how i'm going to find out where to live if i don't have a job. this kind of stuff makes my mind melt. before now it was easy. i went to elementary school, middle school, high school. high school was about getting into a good college. college was about getting a good education. and then...? when i ruled out going to grad school next year i made my life harder instead of easier. which wasn't something i had planned for.
a large part of the reason i started up this livejournal thing again was so i could talk myself through all of this, but once i open up this window to start an entry it all becomes pretty overwhelming. it's like i'm subjecting myself to people asking me "what are you doing next year?" over and over again. i know you all aren't asking that, but i'm responding to it automatically.
anyway, i'm stupidly hungry right now and no means to get food. i have zero cash in my room (so no vending machine) and the card reader on the door to where the ATM is has stopped working. not that i'd want change for a twenty in quarters from the vending machine. okay, when i start talking about how hungry i am it is probably time to stop the entry. cheers.
i've been more confident about work i have turned in before, but hopefully what i've done for tonight isn't too bad. one class has me writing an outline to answer a question, which is so difficult for me. the outlining part is actually optional -- we can in fact use prose if we like, but i enjoy the challenge of trying to fit things into an outline. it's very unenglishmajory and makes me be concise. until i did my first outline for that class i didn't really know just how stupidly wordy i can be sometimes, especially in my academic work. i always wondered why my five pages papers always wound up to be about seven pages long.
it's probably best not to be thinking about things like how i am going to get all my stuff from Virginia to California or how i am going to find a job when i don't know where i will be living and how i'm going to find out where to live if i don't have a job. this kind of stuff makes my mind melt. before now it was easy. i went to elementary school, middle school, high school. high school was about getting into a good college. college was about getting a good education. and then...? when i ruled out going to grad school next year i made my life harder instead of easier. which wasn't something i had planned for.
a large part of the reason i started up this livejournal thing again was so i could talk myself through all of this, but once i open up this window to start an entry it all becomes pretty overwhelming. it's like i'm subjecting myself to people asking me "what are you doing next year?" over and over again. i know you all aren't asking that, but i'm responding to it automatically.
anyway, i'm stupidly hungry right now and no means to get food. i have zero cash in my room (so no vending machine) and the card reader on the door to where the ATM is has stopped working. not that i'd want change for a twenty in quarters from the vending machine. okay, when i start talking about how hungry i am it is probably time to stop the entry. cheers.