Experiment 001
Experiment 001
Aim: To discover the optimum level of drunkenness.
Subjects:
Subject 1: sarahloo
Subject 2: unascertained
Apparatus:
Alcoholic beverages (cider)
Method:
Drink
Results:
Location 1 - Hope Tap
Pint 1
Conversation moves from silliness to seriousness.
Subject 2 finishes first.
Subject 1: confused
Subject 2: perplexed
Location 2 - Rising Sun
Pint 2
Conversation moves towards gossip. Subjects feel slightly nervous, lots of ROCK and air-guitar playing going on. Trying not to catch anyone's eye.
Conversation moves away from gossip towards anger and angsty. Subject 2 finishes first. Toilet trip was uneventful. On leaving the pub subjects begin to worry that they aren't drunk enough. Run to Sainsburys and arrive just in the nick of time...
Subject 1: confused
Subject 2: anxious
Location 3 - Hogshead
Pint 3
Subjects begin to feel drunk. Subject 1 spills cider. Both subjects wonder when they will reach the optimum level of drunkeness...
Subjects decide to send mischievous text messages.
Subjects speed up with their drinking.
Conversation moves towards philosophical debate and laid-back liquorice analysis.
Subject 1 overtakes, even though she's doing all the writing.
Subjects decide they have reached the optimum level of drunkenness.
Quote from subject 1 : "If I get any more drunk i'll be drunk, if i get any less drunk i'll be bored."
Subject 2 overtook and thrashed subject 1.
Subject 1:confused
Subject 2: relaxed
Location 4 - sarahloo's house
Pint 4
On journey back subjects were accosted by large group of men (including students from sarahloo's workplace).
On arrival sarahloo's guitar takes over. Conversation moves towards music. Everything gets slower. And more difficult. Scuzz is quite good. NIN yeah! Subjects think too hard about guitar straps...
Subjects realise they are drinking very slowly...
%
Subject 1: confused
Subject 2: giggly
Location 4 ctd.
Pint 5
Subject 2 has sewrious injur6.
Suject 1 has serious spelling difficulty.
Subjects are droking EXTREMELY slowly
Subject 2 says: “I feel drunk!”
Subjects hve decided thst their plans for world domination should perhaps remain top secrety,
Liquorice does nbot look laid back
Message from subject 2: “I love you all!” :D
Message from subject 1: “but I love you more than she does!”
Message from subject 2: “No she doesn’t”
Message from me: “thatss true.”
Message from subject 2: “nah! She loves you too!”
Message from m,e: “rubbish. I harte you all.”
Ok/.
I wish everyone could be drunk all the time.
Ggrrr!
We wrote gothic potry.
I am drunk
And cider is good
But darknwess prevail.
Anguish overshadows my soul
The night is blacj
Like liquorice
Do you likr it>
It didn’t work.
Wee are druhk!
Subject 1: My body has gone wrong. My body realltty has.ӣ
Subject 2: It’;s the luquorice, i9t made me feel bad…
Conclusion
We rthink that the OP{TIMUNM level of drunkenness s 3 PINTS!
5 pints = rubbish
We are drunken foolds.