i just don't know now...
jealousy, turning saints into the sea
swimming through sick lullabies
choking on your alibis
but it’s just the price i pay
destiny is calling me
open up my eager eyes
‘cause i’m mr brightside
now i’m falling asleep
and she’s calling a cab
while he’s having a smoke
and she’s taking a drag
now they’re going to bed
and my stomach is sick
and it’s all in my head
but she’s touching his chest
now, he takes off her dress
now, let me go
Call me crazy but I feel sorta bisexual right now. Which is rather odd because I spent two hours drooling over Jude Law in Alfie this afternoon. Tonight was a rather manly night and I kept thinking about how much I wanted to be with a girl (except while watching the fashion shows on TLC... that was really GAY!). My last attempt at dating a girl in Feb. didn't work out all that well. We turned in to more of best friends and there wasn't any benefits coming from the relationship. Unless buying each other scarfs is a benefit you would admit to. I guess it depends on the pattern but I'd admit to it. Why not? So that relationship went caput. But I started thinking that when I get moved in and all that I'm going to give whatever a chance. If something happens with a guy then I'll know it's probably best to just pick the queer team. But if something happens with a girl then I'm up for giving it another chance and joining that team. Ever heard of a switch hitter? Kinda like that. Except not because nobody can play for both teams. That's against the rules of the game. But I'm probably taking all of this way too far. Balls for balls, I think my game is up to par and I'd be ready to date whatever comes my way... given that I click with them and don't get annoyed with how they chew their food. So being ready to date again is something I've wanted to do for a while now. I'm sure the second I get up there I'll be overwhelmed and call it all off and pull myself off the shelf due to pricing issues. Then again I may just stick it through and put up with all the problems I have with relationships and commitment issues. Damn those issues. They really shouldn't hold me back like they do. And so now I end this by saying good night. And everyone have a safe weekend.
-Matt-