(no subject)
so I don't want to be at ric anymore, AT ALL. I'm contemplating withdrawing but I don't know.
I have to do really well or else, pretty much.
And I just don't want to deal with that.
I feel too pressured. I want to start with a clean slate.
I want to be closer to alaric so I don't get so distracted as I do here.
I don't know what I want to do with my schooling. I know I want to get a diploma eventually. I want a degree. But I also don't want to have to be required to take a math class, and a science class. Unless it can be something sort of fluffy, because that may be manageable. Especially if I go into something having to do with writing or art.
I talked to my mom about withdrawing from ric, and she said I would have to find a job and support myself. So really it's going to be much easier if I stick through the rest of this semester. So far I think I am doing fairly well, and there is only 2 months left anyhow.
But I am just so unhappy here.
Summer will be good. I'll get a job and be living with Alaric.
Spring break is coming up. A week to clear my mind.
I think I can manage it.
and then after the summer I'll take a short break from school, a semester long, so I can get married. And then I'll start back up with school at a community college in CT so I can get my grades up enough to transfer into Eastern. I don't know how my parents are going to react when I tell them I am getting married, but I am pretty sure I'll need a job once that happens because they'll only be paying for college, maybe my medicine too (?) So I'm not exactly sure what I'll do having to work and go to school full time. because I can barely handle being in school let alone balancing a job AND school. but yeah, I'm sure I'll figure this out when the time comes. It's still a year away.
so yeah, this is what's on my mind as of lately.
I have to do really well or else, pretty much.
And I just don't want to deal with that.
I feel too pressured. I want to start with a clean slate.
I want to be closer to alaric so I don't get so distracted as I do here.
I don't know what I want to do with my schooling. I know I want to get a diploma eventually. I want a degree. But I also don't want to have to be required to take a math class, and a science class. Unless it can be something sort of fluffy, because that may be manageable. Especially if I go into something having to do with writing or art.
I talked to my mom about withdrawing from ric, and she said I would have to find a job and support myself. So really it's going to be much easier if I stick through the rest of this semester. So far I think I am doing fairly well, and there is only 2 months left anyhow.
But I am just so unhappy here.
Summer will be good. I'll get a job and be living with Alaric.
Spring break is coming up. A week to clear my mind.
I think I can manage it.
and then after the summer I'll take a short break from school, a semester long, so I can get married. And then I'll start back up with school at a community college in CT so I can get my grades up enough to transfer into Eastern. I don't know how my parents are going to react when I tell them I am getting married, but I am pretty sure I'll need a job once that happens because they'll only be paying for college, maybe my medicine too (?) So I'm not exactly sure what I'll do having to work and go to school full time. because I can barely handle being in school let alone balancing a job AND school. but yeah, I'm sure I'll figure this out when the time comes. It's still a year away.
so yeah, this is what's on my mind as of lately.