The Losing Lottery Ticket
It's a magic thing when both parties give each other enough quality time, however that might be, whether it's in time together, phone calls, emails/letters and such, or even in group interaction with the social circle. Even if you're happy, you can't be sure that your other is feeling significant. It's no fun to feel like the losing lottery ticket.
Everyone has times when they have a full docket. How you treat the people you care about when you have a lot of dishes spinning correlates directly to the shape of your relationship. I, for example, never call/write my best friend often enough, but it's not even a 1/10th of how often I think of her. I'm hanging on by a few threads there, saved because she's known me since we were 14. That's why it's so important when we plan a trip to see each other about once a year.
Established caring relationships can suffer from neglect. New relationships are almost guaranteed to suffer from neglect. In the flux and flow, how can you know your importance to someone else? I even saw a fluff news article once about how a hetero couple is most hormonally alike in the early stages of being together, and spending lots of time together made for stronger bonding. (So if you want to be in love, once a week or so isn't gonna cut it.)
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The stoic twin of patience is also indifference.
There are lots of ways to make up for not being there, different ways that work with different people. Like, I'm a sucker for the little hello or gift, but sugar like that burns off too fast and leaves me wanting -- so that flicker of attention is really not so good. (It depends on the gift. Flowers have more charisma.) Something more substantial is what it takes to keep me happy. I usually need it in words.
They can be written on the back of that losing ticket.
Everyone has times when they have a full docket. How you treat the people you care about when you have a lot of dishes spinning correlates directly to the shape of your relationship. I, for example, never call/write my best friend often enough, but it's not even a 1/10th of how often I think of her. I'm hanging on by a few threads there, saved because she's known me since we were 14. That's why it's so important when we plan a trip to see each other about once a year.
Established caring relationships can suffer from neglect. New relationships are almost guaranteed to suffer from neglect. In the flux and flow, how can you know your importance to someone else? I even saw a fluff news article once about how a hetero couple is most hormonally alike in the early stages of being together, and spending lots of time together made for stronger bonding. (So if you want to be in love, once a week or so isn't gonna cut it.)
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The stoic twin of patience is also indifference.
There are lots of ways to make up for not being there, different ways that work with different people. Like, I'm a sucker for the little hello or gift, but sugar like that burns off too fast and leaves me wanting -- so that flicker of attention is really not so good. (It depends on the gift. Flowers have more charisma.) Something more substantial is what it takes to keep me happy. I usually need it in words.
They can be written on the back of that losing ticket.