the good ol' days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems
be still my beating heart, i'm updating my livejournal. it's been a while, i figured i'd let you all know that i was still alive- whether you give a shit or not. that and i feel like writing something for people to see, or at least scroll past.
anyway, i've been here since september which is later than most of you. i live with 5 other girls that i'd never met before and to tell you the truth they are some of the best people i've ever met. being here made me realize how much i hated wayne. when i was in high school and further back i used to get so pissed off at people that ranted on and on about how much wayne sucked. well, here's is my apology. it's not wayne itself that i hate, let's be real...it's a great place to live generally speaking. when i say i hate wayne i really mean that i hate pretty much everyone that lives there. that sounded really angry, i don't much care. i went back last week, well i've been back alot but not to a function where i'd see people, but anyway i went to the ramapo game. yes, i knew who'd be there...the football players, the coke addicts, the assholes. i've never felt so out of place in my life, where the hell were my friends? the people i knew? then i got to thinking, i had two best friends and a whole shitload of aquaintences that didn't give a flying fuck about me. i guess that's my fault, but i figured i was nice enough to everyone i knew. anyway, at halftime i figured id walk around and see if by any chance there was someone i had been friends with. and by golly i did, i saw you. and you doesn't mean steve for you people that still think i'm obsessed with him. and we were friends weren't we, or was that just the illusion you gave me? i don't know what i did to you that you had to be so cold but i'd like to tell you something. you lost your friends because you didn't care anymore, you decided one person was better for you than everyone else. fine, that doesn't bother me, but don't be a fucking ice bitch when i was never anything but honest and nice to you. don't cross me, i hold grudges way too easily and for way too long.
so after that game all i wanted to do was come back to school. sunday couldn't have come any faster. let's get to the ramapo scene, i live in a suite with three bedrooms and that means 6 girls. it's great.let me tell you the people i live with....
there's flo, she's pretty much completely quiet and to herself. she doesn't hang out with us but she talks to me and i like her. i feel bad because she ends up as pretty much the butt of every joke we make and i myself tell alot of those jokes. but when it comes down to it, i like her. she's just not your typical outgoing girl. then theres my roommate katie. katie's a cool girl, secretly a mom on the inside as she takes care of every sick person that comes into contact with her. she's with a boy, i don't know where it's going but i just don't want her to get hurt. then we have reggie, she's insane. she's loud, she's crazy, she's russian, i need her in small doses. she makes me laugh, she takes it as it comes and sometimes blows things out of proportion but i think everyone has a person like that in their lives. her volume is permenently loud and when you want a party, that's who you call. her roommate is alex, she's you're typical beach girl. you look at her and you just picture her on a surfboard. she's laid back and takes her time with everything. some of the things she does are completely opposite of me, she never worries and i admire that in her.
and last but not least is natalie. natalie's my best friend here and i don't think life would be possible without her. when i go home, i miss her. we don't have to go out, she'll sit in my room and we talk about everything. she's my other half, she understands. nat's pretty, she's smart, she writes and writes and i wish i could write like her. i miss her when i'm home on the weekend, i can't even imagine winter break. she's like my sister, i tell her absolutely everything. she's up there with kristen, i need natalie just like i need my kristen. that's how i've been, i'm independent but i always need that one person. i'm not clingy, but it makes me feel better to have her. especially since kristen is so far, it's just nice to have a best friend here.
that's pretty much ramapo. there's other friends of mine but i don't feel like boring you, i've probably taken up alot of your friends page by now.
what else? oh i know. friday is my father's surprise 50th birthday party. steve, elisa, and i are making speeches. mine's all written, now it's just a matter of keeping myself from crying while reciting it. my dad has always been my constant, it's just really hard to say that out loud.
17 days till kristen comes home...big day planned. i miss her like crazy.
anyway, i've been here since september which is later than most of you. i live with 5 other girls that i'd never met before and to tell you the truth they are some of the best people i've ever met. being here made me realize how much i hated wayne. when i was in high school and further back i used to get so pissed off at people that ranted on and on about how much wayne sucked. well, here's is my apology. it's not wayne itself that i hate, let's be real...it's a great place to live generally speaking. when i say i hate wayne i really mean that i hate pretty much everyone that lives there. that sounded really angry, i don't much care. i went back last week, well i've been back alot but not to a function where i'd see people, but anyway i went to the ramapo game. yes, i knew who'd be there...the football players, the coke addicts, the assholes. i've never felt so out of place in my life, where the hell were my friends? the people i knew? then i got to thinking, i had two best friends and a whole shitload of aquaintences that didn't give a flying fuck about me. i guess that's my fault, but i figured i was nice enough to everyone i knew. anyway, at halftime i figured id walk around and see if by any chance there was someone i had been friends with. and by golly i did, i saw you. and you doesn't mean steve for you people that still think i'm obsessed with him. and we were friends weren't we, or was that just the illusion you gave me? i don't know what i did to you that you had to be so cold but i'd like to tell you something. you lost your friends because you didn't care anymore, you decided one person was better for you than everyone else. fine, that doesn't bother me, but don't be a fucking ice bitch when i was never anything but honest and nice to you. don't cross me, i hold grudges way too easily and for way too long.
so after that game all i wanted to do was come back to school. sunday couldn't have come any faster. let's get to the ramapo scene, i live in a suite with three bedrooms and that means 6 girls. it's great.let me tell you the people i live with....
there's flo, she's pretty much completely quiet and to herself. she doesn't hang out with us but she talks to me and i like her. i feel bad because she ends up as pretty much the butt of every joke we make and i myself tell alot of those jokes. but when it comes down to it, i like her. she's just not your typical outgoing girl. then theres my roommate katie. katie's a cool girl, secretly a mom on the inside as she takes care of every sick person that comes into contact with her. she's with a boy, i don't know where it's going but i just don't want her to get hurt. then we have reggie, she's insane. she's loud, she's crazy, she's russian, i need her in small doses. she makes me laugh, she takes it as it comes and sometimes blows things out of proportion but i think everyone has a person like that in their lives. her volume is permenently loud and when you want a party, that's who you call. her roommate is alex, she's you're typical beach girl. you look at her and you just picture her on a surfboard. she's laid back and takes her time with everything. some of the things she does are completely opposite of me, she never worries and i admire that in her.
and last but not least is natalie. natalie's my best friend here and i don't think life would be possible without her. when i go home, i miss her. we don't have to go out, she'll sit in my room and we talk about everything. she's my other half, she understands. nat's pretty, she's smart, she writes and writes and i wish i could write like her. i miss her when i'm home on the weekend, i can't even imagine winter break. she's like my sister, i tell her absolutely everything. she's up there with kristen, i need natalie just like i need my kristen. that's how i've been, i'm independent but i always need that one person. i'm not clingy, but it makes me feel better to have her. especially since kristen is so far, it's just nice to have a best friend here.
that's pretty much ramapo. there's other friends of mine but i don't feel like boring you, i've probably taken up alot of your friends page by now.
what else? oh i know. friday is my father's surprise 50th birthday party. steve, elisa, and i are making speeches. mine's all written, now it's just a matter of keeping myself from crying while reciting it. my dad has always been my constant, it's just really hard to say that out loud.
17 days till kristen comes home...big day planned. i miss her like crazy.